***
I’ve never felt more relaxed than I do right now. We may not have been asleep for long, just a nap, but that hour or so was the deepest, most peaceful sleep I’ve ever had. Falling asleep in Void’s arms isn’t something I’ve done before, but damn do I want to keep doing it. After having my blood taken last night, I thought I would be completely drained today. I wouldn’t say I am at one hundred percent, but this little power nap has certainly recharged my batteries.
My eyelids flutter open, slowly, taking in the sights of the Brick Cell—my home. I’m lying in bed, my leg over Void’s, snuggling into him, while he continues to sleep. He’s so fucking gorgeous, completely vulnerable and exposed. I glimpse down at his soft, supple lips—they’re so pink and delectable right now. Arousal surges as I lick my lips wanting to taste him. I’ve never felt the need to act on my sexual urges or instincts, but with Void lying here like this, I want to take advantage of him. I want to know what it’s like to kiss him, to have his hands roam all over my body, to have him deep inside of me.
My eyes shift to his crotch, and I swallow hard when I notice his jeans tenting with an erection.
I gasp. I was not expecting to see that. My breath hitches as I gnaw down on my bottom lip.
Should I do something about it?
Would he want me to touch him?
I’ve never even held a cock.
How would I know where to start?
But, there’s something about this situation that’s calling to me. I want to make him feel good. I want him to make me feel good.
With my pulse racing like a jackhammer inside my veins, my hand which is sitting above his heart slowly starts to edge down his stomach.
My body throbs with need as I squirm uncomfortably. I edge further toward the zipper of his jeans.
Void wriggles a little as if he’s waking up, but I don’t stop. My breath quickens as my fingers grip the zip of his jeans. I gently slide it down, then edge my hand inside. The tiny hairs leading to his cock tickle the tips of my fingers as they go. Adrenaline surges through me as I reach the top of his boxer briefs, dipping under.
Suddenly, Void’s hand slams against my wrist, halting any further movement. I jolt with shock as I turn to look at him. His eyes wide, his breath rapid, and his nostrils flare as he startles.
“Ivy, what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He yanks my hand out of his pants, shifting me off him as he sits on the edge of the bed with his back now to me. The sound of his zip sliding back up shocks me.
A cold shudder runs through my body as I sit behind him, wrapping my arms around myself more for comfort than anything. “I… I thought… I mean, I saw your erection, and thought—”
“You thought wrong, Ivy. You can’t shove your hand down a guy’s pants.”
“Jesus, Void, you’re making me sound like I’m a predator.”
Running his fingers roughly through his hair, he jumps from the bed and begins pacing. There’s no eye contact when he says, “I have to go,” and heads toward the exit while I stand letting out a loud angry as hell huff.
“So that’s it? After everything we shared since I got back, you’re shutting down on me again?” Fear sweeps over me as tears threaten to fall from my eyes.
Void hesitates in the doorway, his chest heaving as he breathes frantically. But then he lets out a low grunt, taking off for the stairs.
A tear slides down my cheek, pooling on my chin. “You’re a coward, Void,” I yell at him, then wipe my face. I will not let him affect me, but I just don’t understand his aversion to us fooling around.
Maybe he just doesn’t want me that way?
Maybe it simply boils down to exactly that—Void does not want me sexually.
Clearing my throat, I shake my head. No, I’m much stronger than this. I’m not letting Void ruin my day, especially when I woke up feeling so good only moments ago.
It’s just after lunch, and I’m not going to spend the rest of the day wallowing.
I’m going to do my job and do it fucking well.
Screw Void!
Grabbing my clipboard from the sofa, I walk across to the lab. Pressing the combination, the brick wall opens revealing our crop. I amble over to the small technical area, grabbing my white coat. I do some of the simpler checks, then get to work—feeding, maintaining, monitoring the growth rates—all the usual shit.
I’m lost in my work when a set of footsteps gain my attention. I peek over the plants to see Dash striding over, looking like he’s going to bite my fricking head off.
“You should be resting,” he berates as he grabs his lab coat, then starts working next to me.
I scoff. “Stop! I had a power nap, but then I had to get moving. I need to distract myself.”
Dash grabs the clipboard from me, reading over my notes. “Mm-hmm… you can distract yourself by closing your eyes and falling asleep. Got me?”
“You sound like you’re worried about me, there, Dash?”
He glances at me. “I had to hold you up before you fell over. So, yeah, I’m concerned you’re heading back to work too soon. Go! I’ll take care of this shit. Put your feet up. If you want, you can yell at me from next door.”
“Honestly, Dash, I’m fine. But thanks for caring. You’re good to me.”
He bumps his shoulder into mine. “I’ll always care about you, Ivy.” He reaches out and wraps his arm around my shoulder pulling me to him. I lean my head on his shoulder with a sigh.
Why is it always so easy with Dash?
With Void, everything seems magical, then bam, the magic evaporates, and I’m left in a black hole figuring out if I’m even still in reality or not?
It’s so frustrating.
Void is so frustrating.
“C’mon, it looks like it’s time to harvest,” Dash advises, placing the clipboard down, waggling his brows at me.
“Yeah, it is. I’ll turn on the fans.”
We move off as another set of footsteps echo through the Bricking Room. We both turn and watch Eva striding toward us.
“So, Void’s in a good mood,” she states.
I scoff, turning to continue with my work. “Not my problem.”
“If one of the brothers is having a mental breakdown all the time, and the common denominator in their breakdown is you, then yeah, Ivy… it’s your problem.”
I turn to Eva, throwing my hands in the air. “What am I supposed to do, huh? I try talking to him, he shuts down. I let him talk to me, he shuts down. I ignore him, he shuts down. There’s only so much I can do, Eva.”
Eva’s eyes shift to Dash, who’s trying to appear busy, ignoring our conversation. “Try. Fucking. Harder. You have a connection, Ivy. Hell, everyone’s seen it. Void’s not like that with anyone else the way he is with you.”
“Maybe he should be the one to try harder then, ‘cause I’m sick of being the one always trying. I’ve been fighting all my life, Eva. You of all people should understand that.”
Eva exhales. “I get it. But tell me this… is Void worth fighting for? Search deep down because you know the damn answer.”
I peer over my shoulder at Dash, who’s stopped working and is invested in the conversation, clearly listening in. I say nothing in reply, turning back, grabbing Eva, and spinning her toward the exit. “I have work to do, can we catch up later?”