It’s not like Void and I are in any sort of a relationship. It’s not as if I was actually doing something with Dash, I was merely helping him. I shouldn’t feel the need to explain myself, but the hurt in Void’s eyes was clear, and I know he thought I was sucking the life out of Dash.
That’s not okay.
I don’t want him upstairs wallowing over something which just isn’t true. Void and I might not be in a good place, but I don’t need to make matters worse by letting him believe something that simply isn’t there.
So, I rush upward to find him, to stop him from spiraling out of control, which he seems to have a university degree in.
Entering the clubhouse, it’s calm and quiet. At least Void hasn’t come up here in a rage, making a damn scene, and embarrassing the shit out me. My eyes quickly scan the area. There, over to my left, I find him sitting at the long, concrete slab bar.
His strong tattooed arms are resting on the black marble-effect slab as he sips on something amber in color—probably whiskey. His dusty blond hair is swept back over his head haphazardly like he’s been running his fingers through it brutally. Void’s overtired, and he looks frazzled. His strongly defined jaw is wracking from side to side in what appears like aggravation. Void’s nostrils are flaring, the way they do when he’s angry. The left one turned up slightly more due to his crooked nose from one too many fights, but for me that only makes him more endearing. His muscles flex under his shirt—it’s clear he’s having trouble holding himself together.
I hate that I’ve put him in this rage-fueled state.
Void might be revved up, but damn, it’s a good look on him.
Stacey wipes the countertop while Pepper stocks liquor bottles on the shelves behind the bar. I take in a deep breath while striding over to Void. He’s drinking his problems away as per fucking usual.
It’s time Void faced them head-on like a man instead of running away like a fucking child.
His eyes shift to mine as I approach, then focus back in on his short glass. “Didn’t even let the poor bastard bust a nut? That’s shitty of you, Ivy.”
I scoff. “You’re a fucking asshole!”
Void turns up his lip then takes another drink.
Stacey spins, walking down the other end of the bar, obviously to give us space to argue in private.
Void swivels on his chair, turning his back to me. All the action does is cause my anger to flare inside me even hotter. Never upset a Cuban woman if you want to live.
“You know what? You’re not even w-worth it anymore, Void.” My voice comes out a little louder than I wanted it to, breaking a little with the pain searing through me at Void’s detachment.
He shrugs with his back still to me. “Good. Go back and finish Dash off. You don’t want him fucked off at you for not doing a good job.”
“Maldito hijo de puta!” <You fucking motherfucker!> I throw my hands in the air, spinning to walk away, but I slam straight into Dash’s hard chest.
“I mean no disrespect, VP, but you shouldn’t talk to Ivy that way—”
Void lets out a small laugh interrupting Dash while turning on his stool. His hard eyes pierce through Dash with such vicious intent, even I feel the burn from here. “This conversation isn’t for you, prospect. If you know what’s good for you… you’ll leave.”
Dash inhales, nodding his head. He turns to leave but then looks back over his shoulder and continues, anyway, “Just so you’re aware because Ivy’s too worked-up to tell you what you thought you saw… you didn’t. Ivy was lancing a boil on my thigh. You know, putting her medical training to good use. So, while you’re basically calling her out and slut-shaming her for no good reason…” he pauses and looks to the ceiling, “… maybe you should respect her for the amazing professional she’s turning into.”
I give Dash a weak smile, then he turns to hightail it out of here before Void has had a second to punish him for speaking out of turn. My eyes shift to Void. His are vacant. Small droplets of sweat top his brow before a deep frown etches into his features. Void’s electric blue eyes droop in what appears to be regret.
He exhales, placing his drink on the bar, then stands walking over to me.
My eyes drop instantly to the floor as he grumbles under his breath, “Don’t… don’t do that. You’re so full of fight and fire, don’t lose your confidence because I’m a fucking jerk.”
My stomach clenches as I slowly look up at him.
There’s a pained expression on his face as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am an asshole, Ivy… I fucked up. I only saw half a picture. I reacted… I just…” He exhales, running his hand through his hair. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know who I am when I’m around you.”
I stand taller. “You hurt me… just now. No one has ever talked to me like you just did.”
Void grimaces, reaching out for my hand. He takes it, and I let him. The second our fingers connect, my heart slams into my chest wall, making it hard to catch my breath. My skin comes alive, tingling with pins and needles but in a damn good way. I’ve never felt more energized or electro-charged than when Void touches me. Every atom in my body fires all at once.
It’s like the air changes, becoming thinner, harder to draw in, but somehow it tastes and smells sweeter. How does any of that make sense?
I swear Void makes me a little bit crazy. He’s so freaking hot and cold with me. Even now, he just treated me like absolute crap, yet here I am, drawn in by his mere presence.
As I stare into his eyes, his electric blue eyes, I’m captivated by his gaze. That stare sends comfort all over me, covering my body in a warm blanket. Even though, at the same time, he manages to send the coldest of chills through my very being.
Hot versus cold.
Freaking cozy and safe one minute, or left out in a blizzard to fend for myself the next.
Right now, he’s attempting to make me feel safe. Like even though he knows he fucked up and did the wrong thing, he’s trying to right that wrong.
Void could be bad for me.
But aren’t the bad things in life, the things we enjoy the most?
“I wasn’t actively trying to hurt you—” He stops mid-sentence, pondering his next words. “Maybe I was, I don’t know. Seeing you with Dash, seeing what I thought I saw, it shocked me. I didn’t think you were—”
“That kind of girl?” I ask, interrupting his words.
“Not necessarily that. I didn’t know you and Dash were there yet.”
My lips turn up in the corners as I grip his hand tighter. “We’re not, Void. Me and Dash… we’re not like that. Romantic… I mean.”
Void’s eyes light up, perhaps in hope, as he lets out a long breath I hadn’t noticed he was holding. “You’re not?”
“No… I haven’t done anything. With… anyone.”
Void swallows hard. “Shit… I fucked up.”
This thing, whatever it is between us, has been strained for a while. I know I need to spend some time with Void, and more than anything since I arrived at the clubhouse, I’ve wanted to experience what it’s like to be on the back of Void’s bike. Eva’s been able to ride with Nycto, but I’ve yet to even venture out of the clubhouse’s safety net I have been caught in.