Too? No. Instead? Yes. But I couldn’t tell him that. It would’ve come across like I didn’t like her, which was crazy because I’d just met her. And she’d done nothing wrong. Except touch Ronin. But Tami hugged Ronin. And Lila had touched him in a friendly way, hugged him, seen him naked having sex with me.
Not helping!
“I’m not in the mood to sing.” I grabbed his shirt and pulled him to me, brushing my lips over his.
“No?” he said in the same deep voice he used to whisper dirty things to me in bed. “What are you in the mood for?” He kissed me.
I wrapped one of my legs around him, hooking his leg with my foot, deepening the kiss, moaning because those two shots had stolen my self-control. That … that was what I needed. Ronin brought me back to center. He was balance and reason to my instability and doubt.
“We’re up!” Vanessa interrupted, tugging on Ronin’s arm like she couldn’t see us kissing.
He pulled away, looking only at me. “I think I’m going to pass on karaoke tonight.”
“What? No! It’s one song. We’re up now. It’s less than four minutes. Evelyn, tell him to get his ass on stage with me. Don’t you want to see him sing?”
I rubbed my lips together. Confrontation was not my thing. “It’s … yeah. Fine.”
Ronin took a step away from me as Vanessa incessantly pulled his arm. “You sure?”
I smiled when I couldn’t make my head submit to a nod. Well, I wasn’t sure it was a real smile. It felt more like a grimace. A painful grimace.
He let her pull him up on stage, and I made my way back to the table.
“Have you heard him sing before?” Tami yelled in my ear over the start of the music.
“Yes, but just in the shower.”
She laughed, jerking her chin toward the two new shots the waitress delivered while I was at the bar with Ronin. “Going big tonight, huh?”
I stared at the shots. It was fine. I didn’t need them anymore. Ronin kissed me. That soothed my nerves and numbed my insecurities more than alcohol.
“Whoa! Interesting song choice.” Tami rested her hand on my arm.
I glanced over at her. “I haven’t heard it.”
“It’s…” her nose wrinkled “…sexy.”
Turning back to the stage, I waited to see what she meant by sexy. Vanessa started. Her voice was okay. Then Ronin chimed in. His was better. Deep and sexy. Seductive. Or maybe that was just the words. Yeah … it was a sexy song about sex!
Vanessa sang her lines, touching him—his face, his chest.
I downed one of the two shots, feeling Tami’s eyes on me, but I didn’t look her way. Nope. I couldn’t look at her while Vanessa tried to make love to my boyfriend in front of the packed bar.
She sang about temptation, hooked her finger into the waist of his jeans and pulled him closer.
And … I was out of there. After taking the last shot, I grabbed my handbag and stood.
Whoa! Lots of tequila. I’ve got this.
Tami grabbed my arm.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room,” I yelled.
She nodded. “Want me to come with?”
I shook my head and faked another smile. “Be right back.”
My feet took me in a not-so-straight line to the bar where I handed the bartender money for my shots and slipped on my jacket in the clumsiest fashion. Risking one last glance at the stage, I made eye contact with Ronin—Vanessa grinding her pelvis on his hip and leg.
His eyes narrowed.
I hiked my bag onto my shoulder and swayed a bit as I meandered to the door. The crisp night air stole my breath, but the tequila kept me warm.
Cab. I needed a cab or Lyft. Or Uber.
Digging my phone from my purse, I tried to get the screen unlocked with my face, but it didn’t unlock. I stumbled a bit. Those shots sure did their job. I tried to enter my code. But I entered it incorrectly.
“Stupid fucker …” I mumbled at my phone.
“Where are you going, Evelyn?” Ronin’s voice sounded behind me.
I didn’t turn toward him. My wobbly legs continued to zigzag me down the sidewalk as I fought with the code to my phone. “Home, rock star. Going home.”
“How many shots have you had?” His boots scuffed along the sidewalk a few steps behind me.
“Not enough to watch Va-ness-uh fuck you in front of our friends and a roomful of strangers. Nope. Not enough tequila in the world for that.”
“Really, Evie? ‘Fucking me’ is what that looked like to you? Don’t you think your impression of that is a little overboard?”
“No!” I whipped around and hurled my phone at him.
Tequila was pissed off. Yes, I blamed the drinks.
“Jesus!” He bobbed to the side to keep it from slamming into his face. The muscles in his jaw flexed.
My cupped hand flew to my mouth. I couldn’t believe I did that.
Whoa!
It landed on the ground, testing the durability of the case and screen protector.
I swallowed my own shock of that knee-jerk reaction and dropped my hand from my face. “I don’t think my feelings are overboard. They’re mine. You can’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about shit! Okay?”
Ronin glared at me for two seconds before turning back to pick up my phone. “You told me it was fine to sing with Vanessa.”
Men. Such complete dumb fucks. Even the good ones were so incredibly stupid sometimes.
“I was practically s-seducing you on that bar stool.” My words slurred.
Oh, tequila …
“And you took that as me thinking you should go sing with Va-ness-uh?”
“But you said—”
“No! Uh-uh …” I shook my head, and it only intensified my dizziness. “I was put on the spot. How stupid are you to think I really wanted to watch that shit on stage? You should have said no. You should have taken me home the second we started kissing at the bar. Instead, all eyes were on me. Insecure Evelyn. Will she forbid Ronin from singing with Va-ness-uh? Is she possessive and needy? Not okay. Not okay at all!”
Okay, tequila. I might hate you about now. You’re stealing my control. You’re jumbling my thoughts and loosening my tongue.
“I’m sorry,” he said so softly I barely heard him.
I shook my head. “For what?”
He held out his arms for a few seconds before surrendering them to his sides. “For everything. For insisting you ski with me today. For not asking Vanessa to switch seats with you so we could sit together. For not taking you home after that kiss. For getting up on that stage with her. For putting you in that situation.”
He tried to steal my fight.
“You can’t just apologize for everything.”
He blew out a forced breath. “Well, I am.”
“No …” I rubbed my temples. “Th-this isn’t over. You can’t make this right when I’m on tequila.”
The ground started to move, or at least that’s what my legs thought, so they stumbled two steps to the side.
“Okay, Evie.” Ronin caught me and carried me to a taxi. “You can finish being mad at me in the morning.”
“Put me down! You smell like her. And her makeup is on your face and shirt! Yuck! Put me down.”