Nothing in a medical kit could fix it. No amount of education would find a solution. Why was it when the important people in our lives needed us the most, that was when our love felt the most empty—most helpless?
I gave her my arms. They couldn’t fix anything, but maybe they’d hold her together. I was certain they were made to do exactly that. She didn’t want me to say the words, but I thought them. They screamed in my head and thumped in my chest; they whispered from my lungs with every breath.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
She sobbed.
I stroked her hair.
I held her up when her legs gave out.
I carried her to the sofa and let her cling to me while she worked out a bit of reality. There was so much I knew about reality and life. From a very young age, I learned about breaths, fragility, and beating impossible odds.
When her tears ran dry, she eased her grip on my shirt and glanced up at me. “Thank you.”
I returned a sad smile.
“You didn’t tell me it’s going to be okay.” She sniffled, wiping her cheeks.
“I don’t know that it is going to be okay.”
“It has to be.”
I stared at her a few seconds, contemplating my next words. When I couldn’t find the right ones, I kissed her forehead.
“I should finish cleaning.” She tried to climb off my lap, but I pulled her back to me, wrapping my arms around her waist, her back to my chest.
Resting my chin on her shoulder, I slanted my head to kiss her neck. “Earlier, in bed …”
“Don’t say it.” She leaned her head into mine.
“I’m not.” I chuckled. “But would it really be so bad?”
“Save it for a rainy day.”
“A rainy day?”
“Yes. When there’s nothing to say because it’s all been said a million times before … but you have to say something.”
“Then let’s go get coffee.”
She turned toward me. “We have coffee here.”
“True. But I like going to Grinds with you, sitting across from you at one of those tiny round tables, staring at each other through the steam of our coffees. I like the shy but flirty smile you give me. It reminds me of the day we met in Vancouver. It’s when I know we’re thinking those words we don’t actually say.”
The corners of her mouth turned up a fraction. Yeah, she fucking loved me too, and she knew. She knew it a long time ago.
I continued, “I like the soft jazz music, background chatter, and the whoosh of steam as they froth the milk. It all feels like this perfect Evelyn bubble. When I reach across the table and touch your hand, your cheeks turn pink and it does all kinds of insane things to me. But I can’t act on impulse when we’re there, so it’s this beautiful, torturous foreplay.”
Evelyn grinned, nodding slowly. “I love going for coffee with you too. I get to stare at you and pinch myself because I can’t believe you found your way to me … to my life. And I can’t believe you just said all of that like you were reading my mind. That day in Vancouver, it felt like so much more than a stop along my way. It felt like I had arrived.” She glanced over her shoulder.
I nipped at her lower lip. “That’s the thing about you, Evie … I had no idea I was waiting for someone until you arrived.”
“Ronin Alexander, are you a romantic? A chance meeting? A look? A feeling?” She turned her body, straddling my lap and interlacing her fingers behind my neck.
My lips twisted. “Hmm … I’m not sure yet.”
She kissed the corner of my mouth and whispered, “You are such a romantic.”
CHAPTER NINE
Evelyn
“Hey!” Ronin wiped his hands on a dishtowel and turned down the heat on my stove. “I got someone to cover for me today, so I could clean your house, grocery shop, and get dinner started. My parents arrived a few hours ago. They’re unpacking at the Gilberts’ house, and then they’re coming for dinner.” He pulled me in for a hug. “How did it go with your dad?”
Nuzzling my nose into his neck that smelled of the woodsy soap from my shop, I grunted a laugh. “He already knew. My mom couldn’t keep it from him. I guess he made some comment about how beautiful she is, and all she could think about was the disfigurement she might have after surgery. And the floodgates opened … she told him everything. However, he’s doing surprisingly well. Very optimistic, at least that’s the face he’s giving us. Graham is flying them out to California tomorrow to tell Katie. I have all of my mom’s upcoming appointments put into my calendar, and I talked with Sophie about covering for me more often since I’ll be in Denver quite a bit.”
He pressed a slow kiss to my lips. I needed it. I needed it to calm my racing mind. Mom’s treatment was a marathon, not a sprint.
Ronin pulled back, brushing my hair from my face. “Today, you did your part.”
I lifted one shoulder. “I think so.”
“Tonight, you meet my parents. They will love you. My mom will talk a lot about grandchildren. You just have to ignore her.”
I bit my lower lip for a few seconds. “What if I don’t want to ignore her?” Tipping my chin up, I met his gaze.
Ronin inspected me … maybe for a glimpse of humor or a spark of honesty. “I want one boy and one girl,” he said. “Two years apart. The boy first, so he can be protective of his sister.”
That was our truth.
We had known—a silent certainty—that there was something special between us from the day we met in Vancouver. Attempting to be intelligent and sane, we hadn’t labeled that silent certainty as anything like fate or destiny. Not love at first sight. Not perfect timing.
For me, I felt like we were a fact—the sky was blue, water was wet, the wind blew. Ronin and Evelyn just were.
“I have a sister and you have a brother, but you think we can manage one of each?” I chuckled.
“Absolutely.” He flashed me that irresistible smile.
I believed him.
A much-needed grin took over my face. Ronin had a way of doing that. Grins on my face. Butterflies in my tummy. Love in my heart. “I’m good with that.”
“Good. Then dinner will go well tonight.”
I told myself I wasn’t nervous about meeting Victor and Ling Alexander, but I lied.
“How important is it that your parents like me? If they don’t, will you leave me?” I kept watch out the window, waiting for their arrival.
“They’re going to love you.”
“Of course they are, but just play along with me for shits and giggles. What if they don’t like me? Are we over?”
“Yes,” he said, adding wood to the stove.
I turned, jaw unhinged, eyes wide. “You can’t be serious?”
Ronin closed the stove door. “No.” He chuckled. “I’m not serious.”
“Every lie is actually a truth in a parallel universe.”
“You believe in parallel universes?” He brushed wood dust from his hands and jeans.
“I’m a scientist, so a lot of possibilities cross my mind. However, if I believed a parallel universe existed for the alternatives to all our decisions and lies, then it wouldn’t be possible. I mean … there are potentially a lot of parallel universes, but not a quantity as large as the infinite choices we make and lies we tell every day.”