She mirrored the anguish I felt—which was probably plastered to my face. I appreciated that, but it solved nothing. I had family and friends to offer sympathy. Dr. Waters needed to give me more. She needed to give me answers and solutions.
“This could be Long Q-T syndrome, a disorder with your heart’s electrical system. It’s rare, but clearly not impossible. Medications can cause this, but since you’re not taking any medications, I want to look into congenital Long Q-T syndrome. Do you know if anyone in your family has had this condition?”
Ronin shook his head. “Not that I know of.”
“Well, that’s something we’ll want you to confirm. In the meantime, I want to schedule an exercise stress test, and as I said earlier, have you wear an ambulatory monitor. If there’s a family history, it’s possible we can treat this with gene therapy. Again, more information about your health history and your family’s will help.”
“I’m calling your mom.” I reached for my phone.
Ronin narrowed his eyes, not looking at me or Dr. Waters. “Okay,” he mumbled.
“Why do you look confused? Or are you in pain?” I rested my hand on his arm.
After a few more quick headshakes, he gave me a barely detectable smile. “It’s nothing. Call my mom. They’ll happily help with my family health history.”
“I want to go over your health history again with you to make sure we’re not missing something.” Dr. Waters took a seat on a stool next to Ronin’s bed.
“I’ll go out in the hallway to call your mom.” I pointed toward the door.
Neither Ling nor Victor answered their phones, so I left a quick message to let them know something happened, Ronin was okay (even though I wasn’t convinced of that), and I needed them to call me back.
“How’s he doing?” Graham caught me just before I walked back into Ronin’s room.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean … fine, except for that minor detail that his heart stopped. And they don’t know why. Any news on Lila?”
Graham rubbed the back of his neck, dropping his chin to his chest. “Not yet. I demanded an update as soon as possible, but I have yet to hear from one of her doctors.”
“Well, you’re the governor and a Porter, so if they haven’t taken the time to give you an update, it must mean they’re busy keeping our girl alive. Right?”
“Yeah …” he murmured.
CHAPTER TWENTY
“Where are your kids?” Graham whispered around midnight as we waited for them to let us see Lila. She made it through a long surgery, and they were moving her to the ICU.
Ronin fell asleep a little before ten with me in his arms, facing Graham in the chair by the window. I couldn’t fall asleep, not with my hand on Ronin’s wrist keeping track of his pulse and my eyes on the heart monitor.
“You’re going to be a terrible father if this is how long it takes you to think about the kids,” I murmured softly to keep from waking Ronin.
“Not my kids.”
“Sue is staying with our kids. Do you think you’ll ever have kids to worry about?”
He leaned his head back, lacing his fingers tighter on his chest. “When I didn’t know if Lila and Ronin would make it, I thought I would be helping you raise Franz and Anya.”
I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. Where were the words to respond to him? Why did he say that? It made me mad, and at the same time it tipped my world on its side. Lila and Ronin weren’t dying. To be honest, I was shocked that Graham knew my kids’ names besides “buddy” and “princess.”
“I haven’t called my parents yet. I was scared to tell them about the accident until Lila came out of surgery. And now I just … I feel like it’s too late. I should wait until morning,” I said.
Graham lifted his head and opened his eyes, giving me a contemplative look. Of course, I didn’t have a response to his statement because it was ludicrous. He would help me raise my kids? How? As my friend? As their replacement father? As my new husband? It made me hurt all over. Any thought that involved a life without my husband and my best friend made everything inside of me ache. Maybe it was his way of showing his support. That was what friends did … they supported each other.
“Wait until morning. No need to wake them in the middle of the night. She’s out of surgery, and Ronin is sleeping. My parents aren’t coming until morning. Just … wait.”
I slid out of Ronin’s arms and sat on the edge of the bed. Running my hands through my messy hair, a soft chuckle escaped. “That’s so messed up. I … I feel sorry for you. For Lila. The reason I haven’t called my parents is because my mom is dying. I don’t want to expedite her death by making her worry about Lila and Ronin until I know for certain there is, in fact, a grave reason to worry. But your parents … they could have been here within an hour of you telling them. This is their daughter-in-law. You are their son. They should want to be here for both of you.”
“Not everyone has your life, Evelyn.”
I lifted my gaze to meet Graham’s somber expression. “Do you envy my life, Graham? I mean … my dad needed a new kidney, and my mom might not be alive in a year. We live paycheck to paycheck. My Jeep needs new tires, and my washing machine is ready to give out.”
“But if you called your parents right now … they’d be in their car on their way here,” he said.
There it was … Graham Porter had so much, but he didn’t have the things money couldn’t buy. He was right. My life was infinitely better. That made me sad for Lila. She deserved a family like mine. I wanted Graham and her to make the family they both didn’t have, but undoubtedly deserved.
“You can be so much better than your parents, but you’ll never have that chance if you don’t make your own family.”
“You can see your wife now,” a nurse whispered from the entrance to Ronin’s room.
I turned toward Ronin, smiling at his peaceful face, his soft brown skin, and his long, dark lashes resting on his cheeks. I had the best life. Ronin’s heart just needed to remember that and keep beating for me, Franz, and Anya. Before following Graham, I kissed Ronin on the cheek. “I’ll be right back.”
The glass doors to Lila’s room gave us a glimpse of her before we ever stepped foot inside. Graham stopped, taking a deep breath while reaching for my hand.
I squeezed it. “We love Lila the most,” I whispered.
He squeezed my hand in response, keeping his gaze on her. Nothing could have prepared me for seeing Lila with half of her face and skull bandaged, looking so lifeless. As Graham opened the door, the beeping monitor told us she was alive, but it was the only sign of life. I moved to one side of the bed as Graham took his place next to her on the other side.
“L-Lila …” His voice completely shattered.
My hand made a fist at my mouth as the room blurred behind the welling tears. His body collapsed over hers. He took her hand with both of his, resting his forehead next to her head on the pillow. Silent sobs racked his body.
Regret curled its relentless claws into my gut, punishing me for ever doubting his love for my best friend. Everything seemed so petty compared to that moment. How could I worry about her job, her becoming a mother, her losing her independence?