She was fucking flawless.
The roundness of her tits made my mouth water—they looked to be the perfect handful, soft, inviting, worthy of all my attention.
“Eyes up here, Cabe,” she snapped. “Why? Why do we have to have this conversation?”
I struggled to look away from her body and up to her eyes. It had been eleven years.
Eleven. Fucking. Years.
I saw her grow up. Hell, I grew up with her. She was only a few years younger than me, and now that I was a man, everything was infinitely more complicated. When the visions showed her being so beautiful, what else was I going to do? I fell for her ghost, I craved her, I wanted to find her and make her mine. And here she was, standing before me, acting like I didn’t have the right to be awed by her. Like I didn’t deserve this moment.
“Because I’m used to feeling what you feel, Annalise. I have spent the last eleven years seeing your life through a microscope. I know everything you loved, everything you hated, everything that made you who you are. I’ve experienced your life with you, Annalise, and I’m not about to stop now. I’m realizing that some things were left out, but it doesn’t matter. I have spent my entire adult life in love with a ghost, someone who didn’t fucking exist outside of my head. I had no idea where to find you, if you even lived in this fucking country. I saw you cry, and I couldn’t hold you; I saw you shut down when Brinley left, and I couldn’t put you back together.”
I moved toward her, closing the distance. I ignored the fear in her eyes, the emotions she tried so hard to hide, and grabbed her face in my hands. I was growing bolder, more desperate. “I want to know because I want to help. And I want to help because I’m the only one who knows how to. Quint can read you, yeah. He understands a side of you that I never got to see. But I knew you before the bond, I knew you before they did. I vowed years ago to protect you, and here you are.”
I didn’t move, still cradling her face in my hands. Her eyes bounced between mine, her walls climbing around us, threatening to block me out entirely.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I warned.
“I’m not her,” she spat, trying to pull away.
I tightened my grip. “Yes, you are, Annalise.”
“I’m not,” she repeated, losing some of her fight.
I brushed my thumbs across her cheekbones, loving the feel of her soft skin beneath my fingers. “You are, Anna.”
“I can’t do this.” She snapped her head away and looked down, her hands coming to her hair. Now that she was without a shirt, I took in the tattoos littering her body. She was covered in small designs, each one specific and entirely unique. The snake slithering up from the waistline of her pants caught my attention.
How far down did its body go? Did it wrap around her thigh? Hug her hip?
“Do what?” I asked, tearing my eyes away from her body to look at her face. “What are you so afraid of?”
“Trusting you,” she whispered, looking up into my eyes. “I can’t trust you guys, Cabe. I can’t give into these instincts, because then I will, I will eventually learn to trust you, and I just can’t, okay? My freedom was taken from me; I am now a slave to these powers, this instinct, this darkness. I’m a slave to something I don’t know how to control, and I hate it. I know that you think you know me, and I feel safe with you, I feel understood, but I don’t understand how that’s possible. I’m still trying to wrap my head around all this.”
I took a deep breath, blowing it out hard enough to part the steam that quickly filled the room. I didn’t think, didn’t put my decisions through a filter, instead I backed her into the shower, not caring about her pants getting wet or my own clothes. This was too important.
“Stop thinking,” I said with command lacing my tone. “Stop putting pressure on an instinct and involving feelings that you don’t even feel yet. You don’t trust us, so hold on to that. That’s okay, we’ll have to earn it. But don’t deny your instincts in fear of trust. You want something? I’m with Quint on this one, take it. Leave emotions out if you have to, but don’t ignore the instinct.”
“You sound like you know exactly what I’m struggling with,” she replied, biting her bottom lip, looking up to me under thick lashes. I did know what she was struggling with—the bond between us. It was primal and consuming. It was hard to think around the need to claim her in every way, but I fought it because I wanted this to last.
She was comfortable with sex, with herself, with her needs. Anyone could tell just by the way she carried herself, but I wasn’t going to let her use that against me and risk ruining any chance we had. “Don’t tempt me, Annalise. I’m not strong enough to stop this once it starts.”
She gripped the waist of her joggers and pushed them down, leaving her in just her fucking bra. I tried to ignore the snake tattoo that started halfway down her thigh, but I couldn’t look away; I was helpless to her body.
“Jesus Christ,” I breathed. “You’re—”
“Off limits,” she chided. “For now.”
Surprised, I tore my eyes from her legs, ignoring the smooth skin of her pussy entirely, and forced my gaze on her gorgeous face. “For now?”
“Yes, for now, I have to decide if your advice is good or a bunch of bullshit. So get out. I’ll meet you guys downstairs. There better be a fat blunt down there for me, or I’m out of here.”
With that, she turned into the water, giving me a perfect view of her ass.
Motherfucker.
I’d get her that blunt, and I’d enjoy watching her hit it.
She was a wicked creature, a perfect tornado, an emotionally charged full moon.
And she completely owned me.
I scrubbed my body with Lanier’s male-scented soap, trying to ignore the giant gaping hole in my stomach. He still wasn’t back. He’d been gone since Quint and I fell asleep, and eight hours later, he still wasn’t home.
I was about ready to tear the skin off his bones, and again, I hated it.
But I hated my own complaining more.
I always knew that something was different about me, I felt it my entire life, but I had no reason to believe that I was anything other than ordinary. Now, all these years later, I had finally shifted. I had the evidence, I felt the hunger, the power, the sense of self. I was an Angel.
And something else.
Something more.
That was what scared me—the fact that I had no real answer to my most important question. But I’d get it done. I’d figure it out.
And the hulking men downstairs would help me.
We were connected, I knew that for sure. I could feel each of them, even now, as I washed my hair. Downstairs, Quint was anxious, but not about anything specific, he was just an anxious person. Always bouncing his leg or biting his nails. He was haunted and dark, but he was also vulnerable with his emotions. He was always honest with me, even though he came invisible.
He hid behind his magic, but the end result was still the same, and I understood him.
Cabe.
Cabe would be a problem.
He was in love with me. I felt it like a blanket of unwanted protection every time he was near. He watched my movements, focused on the little details of my personality, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it.