When I found out the ship would be at sea for only four days, stopping in Mexico and returning to LA every Sunday to dock for a few days, my nerves settled some. But that didn’t last long.
I hadn’t yet begun to think about the art of dancing in heels on a rocking boat until Melanie, one of my fellow dancers, recounted a story about one of her shows gone bad, when the ship had encountered some rough waters, turning her pas de bourrée turn into a wobbly tap dance before she bit it right in the middle of the stage.
“It happens,” she added with a sympathetic smile. “The passengers always comment on how impressed they are that we can balance on heels while the ship is swaying.”
My stomach knotted with each story that came next, of dancers experiencing similar turbulence. “Does that happen a lot? Rough waters?”
I expected them all to assure me that it was a very rare occurrence, but instead, they all nodded. “Oh yes. There’s more turbulence in the front and back of the ship, and that’s usually where the theaters are located.”
By the time lunch came around, my insides were all coiled with a new worry, one my doctor probably couldn’t fix with a mind-numbing pill. I would break my neck on that dance floor if the sea sickness didn’t get me first.
While everyone headed to the community center at Gravity for lunch, I went the other way, through the front doors, down the large concrete staircase, and down the street to find the nearest coffee shop where I could grab a steaming cup in order to decompress and get my shit together. I was running out of time.
I was so focused on my destination that I didn’t expect the roar of an engine that pulled up beside me next. Without looking, I knew who it was. Warmth rushed over my body at the thought of him chasing after me. Then I remembered that all he cared about was the fact that I was solving some mysterious problem for him by joining the show, and my excitement deflated.
“Get on.”
I let out a laugh, refusing to look in his direction. “Fat chance.”
A helmet thrust out toward me.
“Take it and get on, Kai. You shouldn’t be out here by yourself.”
I could have made a retort about how I was safer walking through a construction zone than with him, but I wasn’t so sure that was true anymore. He’d made a good point at the party. I couldn’t continue to recall the jerk he’d been to me on that first day we met since he’d only been helpful thereafter.
“I’ll go slow, I promise,” he said when my steps slowed.
My heart was pounding fast. I wasn’t sure if the reaction was caused by his words coming from a caring place or by the simple fact that he was insistent that I join him. The truth was I wasn’t afraid of the motorcycle. I was afraid of the man on it.
I sighed and took the helmet in my hand before finally daring a glance at the bad boy himself. A spark of a challenge gleamed in his ocean-blue eyes, and I couldn’t help but stutter over my next breath. He was gorgeous—strikingly so—and I didn’t think I could deny him this simple thing.
So I placed the helmet on my head, pushed the plastic connector together to lock it tight, and then swept a sheer nylon leg around the seat of his bike.
“Hang on tight.”
I swallowed and did as he said, familiarizing myself with the feel of his leather jacket against my skin as my arms snaked around his middle and locked together in front of him. My thighs squeezed tightly around his, then I took a deep breath to try to steady my raging nerves.
“You good?” He looked over his shoulder, catching my eyes through the mirrored front of the helmet. The way his stare locked on mine told me not even this solid barrier could stop him from seeing me.
A shiver shook my shoulders despite the fact that the temperature was eighty degrees. Did he see me? Could he? Every encounter I’d had with Sebastian was filled with intense emotions I hadn’t even wanted to make sense of. I couldn’t afford to. Sure, the banter was fun, but it couldn’t be more than that. He knew it too, hence the pact to protect us both.
We rode to a small café a few miles away and parked on the curb. We filled a cardboard carton with salad and sides, weighed our food, and paid. I didn’t fight with Sebastian this time as he handed the woman on the other side of the counter his card to pay for us both. My finances were already better since rehearsals had started and I’d earned my first paycheck, but I still appreciated his offer.
As we walked across a park with tall trees and picnic tables scattered around, I couldn’t help but feel gratitude for everything he’d done.
“Thank you,” I said without looking at him even though I could feel him waiting for me to. “For the job, for the food.” I shrugged. “I know you’re only being nice to me because I joined the cast, but I want you to know I appreciate it.”
Then I looked. I felt a pull between us, a magnetism I couldn’t ignore for long. This time, the broad smile I was met with stole my breath. His eyes shone with gratitude, and shallow dimples popped in his cheeks. God, no wonder I was always afraid to look at him. He was arresting in the worst—and best—possible way.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
My cheeks heated as I looked away. “It was pretty painful, actually.”
He chuckled then stopped when we made it to a clearing. “This okay?”
“This is fine.”
We sat on a bench across from one another and stabbed at our leaves and pasta in silence for the first few minutes, but I couldn’t stay silent long. “You and Dirk don’t get along.”
“That obvious, yeah?”
I nodded. “To everyone.” Then I swallowed air before repeating what I’d heard before rehearsals the other day. “Is it true you slept with his wife?”
Sebastian’s expression transitioned from calm to cool to full-blown laughter before he shook his head. I didn’t know why I felt comfortable asking him such a personal question—maybe because of all the help he’d given me to overcome my anxiety. But now that the words were out, I wished I could retract them.
“Wow. Is that the rumor going ’round? The crew has me pegged as the bad bloke who goes about where he shouldn’t?”
Embarrassment lit up my gut. “I-it’s what I heard. I’m sorry, Sebastian. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“I’m glad you did.” His quick words bled with sarcasm. “Now I know the things you all say behind my back.”
Despite his rising anger, hope manifested within me. “So it’s not true, then?”
His eyes snapped to mine, causing my heart to surge into my throat. I didn’t know why I cared so much I couldn’t let it go, but I did. And the fact he’d gotten so defensive about it told me a deeper mystery existed. For some reason, I wanted to know Sebastian wasn’t this playboy the world had pegged him to be.
“What if it is true, Kai? Will you think differently about me then?”
I opened my mouth, but words wouldn’t come. My thoughts were jumbled, and I had no idea what to say or think next. I hadn’t wanted to offend him. To an extent, I thought we’d become friends. However, I knew the word “friends” was a bit of a stretch. We’d definitely grown comfortable with each other, but apparently not comfortable enough.