Wayne squeezed me then pulled my face into his hands. “Don’t say that. You’re Kai. My Zelda. You never give up.”
More tears pooled in my eyes, threatening to drown me. “What happens when there’s no other choice?”
Wayne let out a breath followed by a small smile. “There’s always a choice. You just have to open your eyes to see it.”
I wished Wayne and Shane’s words could have lit a fire in me, like on the night I made my final decision to get on this damn boat. But I was feeling more defeated than I ever had before. A couple hours later, I splashed some water on my eyes and decided the time had come to face my fate.
“Guess I better go pack.” I gave them a sad smile and accepted hugs meant to comfort me. Instead, I felt only sadness as I trudged through the halls and down the back staircase to my cabin.
As soon as I got to the space between Sebastian’s room and mine, I stared at his door first, the ache in my chest expanding. I knocked three times, waited a few moments, and knocked again. The lack of response added weight to my already sinking heart.
When I pushed my way through my door and flipped on my light, a flood of emotion swarmed my chest. Sebastian was there, sitting on my bed with his head down. His strong arms were locked, and his fists were pressed into the mattress on either side of him. He looked exhausted, like me, but his eyes lit up when he saw me.
He rose from the bed so quickly that my heart spiked in my chest. Then he was in front of me, filling every broken piece of my heart with his presence. His arms wrapped my body, and he pressed his forehead into mine. “I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t know.” He pulled his face away to lock eyes with mine. “I had no clue Dirk was going to pull that shit with Claudette.”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat before shaking my head. “I shouldn’t have assumed the worst.”
His eyebrows bent together. “I would have never set foot on that stage if I knew.” His eyes searched mine. “I don’t want any part of Angst and Grace if you aren’t part of it. You need to know that.”
I sucked in a breath, my first deep one in a long time, and my lungs expanded as hope filled them along with his words. “So now what?”
He took a step back, reached for his leather jacket, and handed it to me. “Put this on. I’m taking you somewhere. And then I’ll explain.”
Chapter 42
Sebastian
Midnight was nearing by the time we entered the crew’s private pool deck. I winked at the deck hand I’d paid off earlier to keep the area clear for me and threw a hand out to shake his. “Thanks, man. I really appreciate this. Sorry we’re so late.”
Ferenc bowed in thanks. “No problem at all, sir. Enjoy your evening. I’ll make sure you two aren’t disturbed.” He took a step inside the sliding door just before it closed.
I’d met Ferenc in the crew bar one night and learned of his three kids and wife back home in Hungary. He’d begrudgingly left his family behind for seven months to ensure they were given a great life. Slipping him a little extra for the sake of his family felt good.
“After you,” I said to Kai with a smile.
She laughed. “I don’t know where I’m going.”
I tipped my head then threw a glance toward the private balcony hidden by the wall of blue glass. “Yes, you do.”
Her face lost some of its color, and her mouth fell open some. “Sebastian, I haven’t faced the water at night yet.” Her gaze was locked on the stairs. “I don’t know if I should.”
I took her hand. “We’ve gotten through all your other fears, haven’t we? I’ll be with you. Besides, I didn’t really think about that when I put together the surprise I had for you.”
She smiled that shy Kai smile I loved so much. Usually, she acted tough and impenetrable, and I loved that she gave me the vulnerable bits.
“Okay, fine. This better be good,” she said.
With an amused and curious glance at me, she climbed the stairs and froze with a gasp at the mazelike entrance to the balcony.
My arms wrapped around her from behind as I reviewed my handiwork from earlier in the night. Holiday lights wrapped the balcony. Long-stemmed roses were scattered over the deck. Jazz music floated from a portable speaker. And on a small round table with two lounge chairs situated on either side was a bottle of chilled white wine and a covered dish of assorted desserts.
Her jaw had dropped by the time she’d done a slow circle and looked back at me. “W-what did I do to deserve this?”
I held out a hand, and she took it without a moment’s hesitation, then I led her to the balcony, swiping a rose from the table on our way. I wrapped my arms around her, loving the smell of my leather mixed with all things Kai—her hair, her skin, her strawberry bubblegum spray that always clung to my sheets long after she’d slipped out of them. She was intoxicating in every sense of the word.
“When I set all this up,” I said, “it was obviously before all the Dirk and Claudette drama. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. For taking this job on and kicking ass at it.”
She placed the rose against her nose and inhaled deeply.
“When I first created the role of Grace, I had this image in my head. But for some reason, no one felt right in the role. Not even Claudette.”
Kai threw me a questioning look. “Really? But everyone says she was the perfect Grace.”
I nodded, wanting desperately to word my thoughts in a way that spoke the entire truth even though it was hard to say.
“I thought so too at the time. But looking back, I know now I had it all backwards. Grace was inspired by my dream girl, a mold no one could ever fit into.” I pressed my lips to Kai’s temple. “Until I found you.”
“Wow,” she said, a smile lighting up her face. “To think, a little over two months ago, I wasn’t even your type.”
I grinned and pressed my lips to hers. “You’re such a smartass.”
She giggled. “And you’re kind of a softie. Should I alert the media?”
I shrugged. “You can do whatever you want as long as you stay mine.”
She melted into my last kiss, and I would have stayed there kissing her forever if reality hadn’t been growing heavier as each moment passed. How could she ever stay mine when I was leaving tomorrow?
All this joking and flirting felt so right, yet I knew Kai wouldn’t feel the same way when I told her about the arrangement I’d made with Dirk.
When she faced forward again and her eyes swept over the horizon, silence stretched between us, and everything became eerily calm.
“You see the way the moon’s reflection dances on the waves?” She didn’t wait for me to respond. “When I used to sail with my dad, I thought the lights looked like cut diamonds lost in the sea. It was so beautiful at night.”
“It still is.”
She nodded. “It makes me miss sailing. Nighttime on the water was always my favorite.”
“Nighttime on the water.” I repeated her words while slowly rubbing the length of her arm as I replayed the words in my mind. “Sounds like a song title.”