I stood, shocked at how my legs shook. It was curious. His request was a simple one. Why did my limbs tremble? I squinted, trying to see anything, but the darkness was complete and unrelenting. What if —
“Follow the sound of my voice, my lovely,” Nathaniel said, interrupting my downward spiral.
I shut down the voices in my head trying to tell me the task was impossible and Nathaniel out of his mind for suggesting such a thing. My heart overruled my brain. My heart knew the truth. It wasn’t a man out of his mind asking me to do this thing. It was my Dominant, my Master, my lover, and my husband. He held me as his most valuable, most precious, most beloved. He would do nothing to harm me. Not only was my body safe in his keeping, but my soul was.
I closed my eyes even though there was no need. Somehow it seemed important that I do so. I didn’t think, but turned to where his voice came from and walked.
It was as if our souls were connected somehow. Once the decision to walk had been made, my feet moved on their own accord. Quickly and without fear. Nathaniel had told me, had given me his vow, I would not come across anything to impede my way, and I could trust him without question.
The walk across the room took only a few beats of my heart. One second I stood alone in the middle of the room cloaked in darkness, and the next I was in his embrace, his lips at my ear, telling me how proud he was and how my submission stunned him with its beauty.
I’ll admit, it caught me off guard when he gently lifted me in his arms and pulled me further up the bed. From what I heard, he was undressing.
“Something wrong?” he asked, obviously picking up my unasked question.
“It’s nothing,” I said.
“Abigail,” he said in a warning tone, even as he dropped his head and nibbled my neck.
“It’s just… this isn’t the way I thought the night would go.” It felt stupid once I said the words, but he didn’t act surprised at all.
In fact, he gave a little laugh. “Is that so?” And without waiting for me to answer, he continued. “It wasn’t the night I had planned. But something about you kneeling in the bedroom, waiting for me in the darkness, struck me. I had to change my plan.”
His admission was enough to render me momentarily speechless. That made it twice in a number of days, he'd changed his mind. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he never changed it, but it was rare when he did. Was it possible I wasn't the only one needing to get away from everything to recharge?
Holding himself steady above me, he took my silence to mean something else entirely. “Are you not wanting this?”
“What?”
“My alternative plan to make love to you and worship your body until you can’t breathe from the pleasure I give you?”
“I have no problem with that,” I said in a whisper.
“But if you’d rather I spank your ass and get it good and red before I bend you over the closest piece of furniture and fuck it good and hard, I can do it now instead of tomorrow. Tomorrow being my alternative plan for what I’d originally thought to do tonight.”
There was little I loved more than Nathaniel working my ass over. In the years we’d been together, he’d made me into somewhat of an anal sex fanatic, but there was something to be said about being tenderly loved by your other half that was just as appealing.
I looped my arms around Nathaniel’s neck. “I’m so greedy I want them both, but at the moment, I’m all wrapped up in you and I’d rather stay right here in your arms. Let me enjoy your adoration tonight and tomorrow I’ll show you how kinky I am and how much I enjoy it when your rapture turns to ravishment.”
8
Nathaniel
In my twenties, during the first few years of exploring my sexuality as a Dominant, I would often look at those around me who I dubbed as vanilla and wondered if they honestly enjoyed their sex life. Did they have any idea what they were missing? Sex was great, yes, but kinky sex? Fucking hell, nothing better.
As time went on, my experience and confidence as a Dom grew. By my early thirties, I had accepted that any sexual relationship I had would have BDSM element. I was fine with that, or so I told myself. Truth was, when I watched my vanilla counterparts, I couldn’t help asking myself why couldn’t I find contentment without the kink? Was there something more I was missing out on?
I was thirty-four when Abby came into my world, turned it upside down, ripped it to shreds, and put it back together so that anything made sense. She was my submissive match in the bedroom, yes, but it was more than that. With her, non-kinky sex became more than the vanilla experience I’d looked down upon years prior. Because with her, it was more than just sex.
Which is why I changed my plan mid-scene. I could have continued with my original plan and been fine. I mean, we both would have enjoyed ourselves. After it was over, I would have pulled her into my arms, we’d talk for a bit before drifting off to sleep, with her head on my chest and my fingers in her hair.
But when I saw her waiting for me, and then again when she stood to her feet and walked toward me with no hesitation in the complete darkness, a hot scene wasn’t what I wanted.
It took a few minutes to get her on the same page, but once she was, I lowered my head and kissed her softly.
Loving Abby was such a huge part of me. So much of myself was entwined with her, not only my life, but my very existence. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to function apart from the other. I knew I couldn’t. The kids were a big part of our lives at the moment, and they always would be, but we were both aware they would only be under our roof for a small period of time. When they grew up and left the house, it would be right back to the two of us.
“I’m glad you see things my way, Mrs. West,” I said to her when our lips parted.
“What can I say?” she asked in the teasing voice I loved so much. “You made a convincing argument.”
Perfect as it was to have her in my arm and on board with the alternative plan, it was too damn dark in the room to see her at all. It was my doing, so I could only blame myself when I had to push back and tell her I’d be back in a minute.
“If you’re longer than forty-five seconds, I can’t promise anything,” she said, and I laughed.
Normally, I’d feel her eyes on me, but that was near to impossible with the room so dark. I reached for the small lamp I’d placed on my nightstand earlier in the day and turned it on. Any other time the faint glow would have been almost indecipherable, but compared to the absolute darkness that cloaked the room seconds prior, it was blinding.
Abby groaned and pulled the covers over her head. I chuckled and went about setting out a few candles and lighting them. By the time I’d finished and turned the lamp off, she’d poked her head out.
“When I saw the matches earlier, I thought maybe you had a wax session in mind,” Abby said. “It never hit me you were planning to be romantic.”
“Wax play?” I asked. “That’s not a bad idea.” It had been a long time since we’d done any wax play. Unfortunately, I didn’t have all the equipment I needed in the chalet. “Maybe when we get home?”
She shrugged, sitting up and lifting the covers to let me in beside her. “I’m up for whatever you want.”