Our love story was a whirlwind. Reckless and chaotic, we fell hard and fast. He was a couple years older than me, but it didn’t matter. I was infatuated, swept away with stolen kisses and secret touches.
Until it was too late.
Until I was hooked on him and he was hooked on anything that gave him a high.
I gently shook the thoughts out of my head, watching my father as he ordered his meal.
“Phoebe?” he said.
“I’ll have the seared chicken breast with greens please.” I folded the leather-bound menu and handed it to the server.
“I’m proud of you, sweetheart. I know I don’t say it often, but I am. It took a while for you to come to your senses where Zephyr was concerned, but you got there in the end, and that’s all that matters. You’re still young. You have your whole life ahead of you.” He sipped his whisky again. “You could always give college another try—”
“I think I’m done with that, Dad.” I forced the bitter memories down.
“Never say never, Phoebe. You’re only twenty-one.”
Sometimes I felt about thirty. Like I’d lived too much life for a young woman of my age.
“I’m in a good place at the label, Dad,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t read too much into it.
I knew he’d find out about the band eventually. He’d call his friend at the label and it would come out, but I wasn’t about to give him the ammunition he needed to ruin things for me.
If he got wind that I was working with Black Hearts, he’d pitch a fit. Everyone knew the hype surrounding the band.
Around Levi.
Just thinking about him made my heart flutter. He was everything I needed to avoid, and yet, like the foolish girl I was, I’d allowed myself to get close.
My father got a lot of things wrong—he was aloof and hardly present—but he wasn’t wrong about not being able to save everyone.
Love didn’t fix people. It only masked some of the cracks. I knew that better than anyone.
Our food came and the conversation turned from me to my father. He talked about the latest A-list celebrities he’d been rubbing shoulders with, and the most recent secrets and scandals. He told me all about Jan, the agent he was dating. He talked and talked and talked until his voice became white noise and my smiles and nods of agreement became robotic.
Then, after we were done, he dabbed his mouth before requesting the check. “This was nice,” he said. “We should do it again soon.”
And like that, I was dismissed. My father had fulfilled his parental duties enough for the month until the next time his assistant reminded him we were due to do lunch.
It was that he didn’t care, I knew that.
He just didn’t care enough.
When I got back the hotel, I was exhausted. It had been six-hour round trip to Memphis, but of course, my father hadn’t thought twice about expecting me to make the journey to see him.
I slipped into the suite, expecting to find it empty, but Letty and Eva were curled up on the sectional sipping hot chocolate.
“Hey,” I said, making my way over to them.
“How was it?” Letty asked.
“Oh, you know. He berated me for my poor life choices, we ate lunch, and then I listened to him drone on for an hour about his work. The usual.”
Eva frowned, and I let out a weary sigh. “Sorry, my dad.” I sank into one of the armchairs. “That’s where I was today.”
“He sounds... charming.”
“Peter Halstead, charming?” I snorted. “Now there’s a joke if ever I heard one. How’d it go at the studio?”
I was bummed to miss their first session, but I figured it might make things easier all round. From the looks on both their faces, I realized I might have assumed wrong.
“That bad, huh?”
“It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t quite right either. Eva tried to get Levi to open up about the song, but you know what he’s like.”
“If anyone can get him to talk, it’s you,” I said, hating how the words made my stomach sink.
“Phoebe, that isn’t—”
“Can we not do this.” I sighed. “What happened between me and Levi was... a mistake.”
Eva blanched. “This thing with Riley, she set him up.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But she didn’t force him to snort that coke. And we all know it didn’t end there.” I hadn’t watched the rest of the video circulating the internet. I didn’t want to see him with another woman.
I couldn’t.
“I hate her for this,” She snarled. My eyes widened, surprised at the venom in her voice. She was usually so meek and quiet.
“Yeah, Riley is a real class act,” Letty sneered. “But legal will shut her up soon enough. Then we can try and focus on the tour.”
“Is there any talk of when the label wants the band back on the road?” They had already postponed five shows.
“If everything goes to plan, we’ll head for New Orleans on Thursday. It gives us enough time to produce the track and get it out there.
“If we ever finish the song.” Eva tipped her head to the ceiling, letting out a heavy sigh. “I’m worried about him, he was in a better place.” Her eyes slowly lowered to mine. “And now he’s lost again.”
“He’s survived worse,” I said, trying to ignore the plea in her gaze.
I couldn’t fix this. Not without sacrificing part of myself, and I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do that again.
“We still have time,” Letty said. “He might be a mess, but Levi has always managed to pull it out of the bag when it counts.”
“I really thought he’d lose it,” Eva added. “Something this huge, I thought he’d spiral out of control.”
“Just because he seems okay doesn’t mean he isn’t one second away from relapsing.” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Letty and Eva both looked at me. Sympathy shone in my mentor’s eyes. She knew my story... well, some of it.
“I had an ex,” I said for Eva’s benefit. “He was an addict. It ended badly.” I inhaled a shuddering breath.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I should have walked away long before I did.” But love was a funny thing. Once it had its claws in you, it dragged you under deeper and deeper.
“It makes sense now.”
“What does?” I asked her.
“How you are with him.”
My cheeks heated. I didn’t want to think about Levi, about the innate need I felt to protect and shield him from not only himself but the world who would so happily chew him up and spit him out.
“I overstepped and I shouldn’t have.” I stood, too overwhelmed by the conversation. “I’m going to get an early night. See you both tomorrow.”
“Phoebe, you don’t have—”
Eva’s voice melted away as I shut my bedroom door. I kicked off my pumps and lay on the bed, scrolling my social media apps. Part of my day-to-day responsibilities was to help manage the band’s website and official fan pages. Since the video leaked, the Die Hearts—the die-hard Black Hearts fans—had positioned themselves as one-hundred percent supportive of Levi. They provided a wealth of commentary on articles and social media about their favorite tortured bad boy of rock. But the younger fans, the ones whose parents cared a little more about what music their kids were listening to, didn’t want to see their favorite rock star snorting coke off a woman’s stomach.