“Hey, can I ask you something that’s kind of serious? You don’t need to answer if you don’t want.”
He looked relieved that she was taking charge. “You can ask me anything. Promise.”
“All right. Um, what’s going to happen to you next year? Will you still live here in Bridgeport?”
His eyes clouded. “I think so. I mean, Gunnar is going to adopt me.”
That seemed really good, but maybe it wasn’t? “You don’t seem that happy. What’s wrong? Do you not want him to adopt you?”
“I do. I get a choice. The social workers and the judge and everyone makes sure of that. And there’s nothing wrong with Gunnar. He’s great.”
“Oh.”
He sighed. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, to be honest. My parents weren’t great. My father was never around, and my mother was nice enough, but she wasn’t exactly what you’d call hands-on. Then she got shot at an ATM.”
“That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.”
“It was bad. She’d left me home alone, so when the police came to tell me, it was hard.” He took a deep breath. “But even though my mother wasn’t like some TV mom or anything, she tried her best. Now, sometimes I feel like . . . if I get adopted, it will mean that I’m getting rid of all traces of her.”
Bethany nodded.
“Some days I think that maybe she doesn’t deserve that, you know?” Before she could answer, he shook his head again. “Forget it. I know I’m not making any sense.”
“You are. I don’t think what you’re saying is wrong, Jeremy. I never thought about getting adopted from that perspective.”
“I hadn’t either until a couple of nights ago.” He looked down at his feet, then said, “Before I was at Gunnar’s house, I was with another couple of foster families. Some were fine, but there was one couple that was really special. The Robinsons were great.”
“They were nice?”
“Yeah. But they were older, in their fifties. They were some kind of super foster family—they’ve been taking in kids for years. I went there right after my mom was murdered, so I was kind of a wreck.”
She couldn’t even imagine losing both her parents suddenly then being forced to live with strangers. “How long were you there?”
“Six months. That was their limit, I guess.” He sighed. “They did a lot for me and got me through a lot of sleepless nights and a couple of bad moments when I was freaking out.”
“Freaking out?”
“I kept saying stuff like ‘Why me?’ and then getting mad because there wasn’t an answer.”
“I would’ve been thinking the same things. I mean, how could you not?”
“A couple of days before I was due to leave, another kid showed up. A kid a few years younger than me. He was nine or ten.” Jeremy’s voice lowered. “He’d been forcibly removed from his house.”
“Because his parents were abusive?”
“Yeah. They’d screwed him up bad.” He stared at her. “But it had happened years ago, Bethany. He’d been floating around from home to home, pretty much acting up and being a little, uh, jerk. He came to the Robinsons’ as kind of a last resort.”
“Wow.”
“After being around him an hour, I kept my distance. The kid was twisted. But then one night after dinner, Mr. Robinson knocked on my door and asked to talk to me for a minute.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me how they felt that God meant for them to foster kids and not adopt them. But if things were different they would want to adopt me.”
“Wow.” Feeling like she was about to cry, Bethany attempted to control herself. But, it was hard, because she felt like that had been a cruel thing for them to say. None of what had happened was Jeremy’s fault.
Jeremy smiled. “Hey, it’s okay, Bethany. You look like you’re about to go hit someone.”
“But weren’t you upset? I mean, it sounds like kind of a mean thing to say.”
“I was kind of bummed, but what Mr. Robinson said next mattered more. He said something like it’s a waste of time wondering why things happen. That there’s nothing you can do about the past, only the future. He said that I was lucky because I lived most of my life with a decent woman and they’d heard that the couple I was getting sent to live with next was decent too.”
“And were they?”
“Yeah. They were fine. All the families were fine.” He brightened. “But then one day Melanie showed up and told me that she found someone for me, and that he was really different from everyone else I’d been with. He was doing it because he wanted to help a kid and one day adopt.”
“And that was Gunnar?”
“Yeah.” He smiled. After they walked a little bit more, he said, “I can’t believe I just told you all that. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m glad you told me some more about what happened to you.” She smiled up at him. “I’d rather hear about that instead of the weather.”
He chuckled. “I bet.” He released a ragged sigh. “Bethany, I’m going to be honest. I’ve been afraid that if you found out about my past, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. But then I started thinking that maybe it’s better you knew. In case . . .”
His voice drifted off.
“Jeremy, in case what?”
“In case I finally ever get the nerve to ask if you’d go to the Christmas dance with me.” Looking horrified, Jeremy stared at her for a long minute before looking down at his feet again.
He’d asked her! Elation filled her insides like she’d been deflated and she hadn’t even known what had been missing.
All Bethany did know now was that there was something about Jeremy that she really liked. She didn’t care how his mother died or that he was a foster kid. She didn’t even care that he was kind of shy and unsure of himself. She liked that. It was different. He was different in a lot of ways—ways that counted.
Though her palms were sweating a little, she said, “Jeremy, maybe you should go ahead and ask me.”
His chin popped back up and his blue eyes were bright. “You think?”
She pointed to the red-brick house with black shutters that was just up the road. “Well, yeah, since we’re almost at my house.”
He stared at her house, seemed to kind of shake his head, then collected himself again. “Bethany, will you go to the Christmas dance with me? I promise I won’t bore you with foster kid stories the whole time.”