Edmund tried to eat, but his appetite was waning. He drank coffee instead.
“Anyway, it seems you and she did not match. But seeing you here, I wonder if you hoped you might.”
“I thought it was a possibility, but it is not.”
Cosford exhaled as he reached for a slice of toast. “It’s just as well. Sterling confided to Cecilia that he planned to propose to Genie. He was effusive in his appreciation for Cecilia bringing them together at the party.
Jealousy seared through Edmund, blistering him with a regret he’d never known. Twenty years ago, he’d seen Genie and accepted that they were not to be. She’d been the diamond of the Season, poised to marry well, and he’d been on the verge of his Grand Tour. When he’d encountered her at the house party, it seemed Fate had given him a second chance.
Until it became frankly apparent that they were at cross purposes. It was grossly unfair. The infatuation he’d felt for her twenty years ago had bloomed into full-blown love, and he was almost certain she’d at least begun to feel the same. Or maybe it had just been a stunning mutual attraction—quick to burn and just as fast to turn to ash.
There was only one way for him to know. He had to tell her exactly how he felt and what he wanted. If she didn’t feel the same, then he would at least know for certain.
And what if she loved him, but not enough to forgo children? What about his earldom?
“I have an heir.”
“What’s that?” Cosford asked, blinking.
Edmund realized he’d spoken his thoughts aloud. “The dowager duchess and I decided we didn’t suit because I need an heir.” She also wanted to be a mother again, and a widower with children could make that happen. Edmund wouldn’t share that with Cosford, however.
“You just said you have one.”
“I do indeed.” No, the boy wasn’t his offspring, and he’d have to plan for the child to be the presumptive heir. Could he accept never having a child of his own? If it meant a life with Genie, yes.
None of that, however, solved the problem of Genie’s desire for more children.
Cosford gave him a pointed look. “Sterling plans to propose soon.”
Edmund pushed back his chair and stood. Whether she would accept him or not, he had to tell Genie the truth of his feelings for her. “Then I’d best be on my way. I’m going to leave immediately and have my coach follow.” He’d brought his own horse and would use him to get to Lakemoor as quickly as possible.
Cosford leaned back in his chair and smiled. “Cecilia will be pleased. She was hoping for you over Sterling.”
“We’ll see what Genie is hoping for.” Edmund couldn’t believe what a fool he’d been. He wouldn’t lose her this time.
He prayed he wasn’t too late.
After spending a lovely evening with Peter—Mr. Sterling had insisted she call him by his first name—Genie was more torn than ever. She’d been unable to sleep until late into the night.
But then she’d awakened with a remarkable clarity: if she loved Edmund, why would she consider marrying another? Because Peter had children? Genie did too. She had a stepson—a son—she loved more than anything.
Edmund, however, did not. Would he consider a future with her knowing she couldn’t give him a child? She wouldn’t blame him if he couldn’t. Even so, she didn’t think she could live with herself if she didn’t tell him how she felt.
Which meant she had to see him. Right away. Now that she knew what she wanted, what she must do, she couldn’t wait. Unfortunately, his estate was two days away at least, if the weather cooperated.
First, however, she had to give Peter her answer to his proposal. He would be here shortly. In the meantime, she instructed her maid to pack for a trip and asked her butler to inform the stable to prepare her coach.
When Peter arrived, she greeted him in the sitting room as she’d done the day before. He kissed her hand and looked at her expectantly. “I don’t wish to press you for a decision, but I am ever hopeful.”
“I told you I would have an answer today, and I do.” She turned toward the seating area and gestured to the settee. “Shall we sit?”
She went to stand in front of her chair, and he moved to the settee. He seemed to realize she wasn’t going to sit beside him, because he glanced at the settee and then her chair and frowned.
Genie sat down, and he followed, slowly sinking to the settee. She’d rehearsed what to say, but the words flew from her mind. “Mr. Sterling—Peter. I’m afraid I must refuse your wonderful proposal.”
His frown returned and deepened. “If it’s wonderful, why would you refuse it?”
Oh dear, was he going to be difficult? No, she would give him the benefit of the doubt. He would be disappointed, of course. “Because I love another.” It was the truth, and she saw no reason to lie. “It is no fault of yours, I assure you. If not for…this other person, I believe I would have accepted your proposal.”
Yes, she would have. Cecilia was right—she didn’t like being alone.
He pressed his lips together, his eyes darkening as he averted his gaze toward the window. At length, he said, “I see. I am disappointed.”
“For that, I am sorry.”
“Your letters were rather encouraging,” he said with a hint of accusation.
Damn, apparently he was going to be difficult. She wanted to be on her way!
“I thought we might suit, but I realized yesterday that I have deep feelings for someone else. I would have communicated that to you in my next letter—instead of inviting you to visit, which you did anyway.” She let her own accusation float in the air between them.
“Yes, and it was quite a journey.”
“I’m sorry you regret coming.”
“It isn’t that.” He took a breath and exhaled. Then he seemed to…pout. “I regret that you do not return my affection.”
Affection? Still no mention of love. Genie was incredibly relieved she hadn’t accepted his proposal. She acknowledged it was foolish to think she could marry twice for love, but she didn’t think she could wed for any other reason. She thought of what Lady Clinton had said about her two different marriages—one for love and one for convenience—and knew she couldn’t do that.
“You deserve someone who does.” Genie rose, eager to end the visit. She didn’t see any reason to prolong things.
He slowly got to his feet. “Well, I am shocked by your answer.” He narrowed one eye at her. “Are you certain?”
“I am.”
“What if this fellow doesn’t love you in return? My offer would still remain.”
Oh, he was really being difficult! “That is most kind of you, but I won’t change my mind,” she said firmly. “I do appreciate you coming all this way, and I’m sorry things aren’t different.” She cringed inwardly because she wasn’t. She had been earlier, but now, she was quite ready to see Mr. Sterling’s back as he left.
He hesitated a moment, then finally said, “Good day, Your Grace.”
“Have a safe journey, Mr. Sterling.” Genie watched as he turned and departed the sitting room.
Not wanting to waste a moment, Genie dashed from the room. She would leave as soon as possible. Now that she knew what she wanted, she was anxious to pursue her heart’s desire.