“Didn’t you ask for specifics? I mean, I know you don’t like surprises.”
“How could she possibly surprise me? We’re going to the house I grew up in. I know all the space there so I’m sure she’s making arrangements for some of my cousins to stay at a hotel or the local B&B. It’s not going to be a big deal.”
Her shoulders sagged. “Well now I feel bad!”
“Aspen, you’re one person. It’s not like your existence is displacing a bunch of people. It’s really not a big deal.”
“To me it is,” she countered. “You guys have family traditions and now I’m ruining it! Ugh…your relatives are going to hate me!”
He reached over and took one of her hands in his. “No one’s going to hate you. It’s not possible. You’re too nice.”
Lacing her fingers with his–something she did from time to time–she smiled at him. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
They drove on for several minutes and Gabe liked how she didn’t let go of his hand.
Actually, there was a lot he liked about Aspen but he’d never admit to it out loud.
Back when they were in college, he had been seriously attracted to her. They’d flirted a little with each other, but he had been too afraid of making a move on her. She was out of his league. Getting put in the friend-zone was normally disappointing, but with Aspen it was pretty damn great. She was seriously his best friend.
Looking back, Gabe had to remind himself that there was a chance that if they had dated and broken up, he wouldn’t have her friendship. And without that, he wasn’t sure where he’d be. Aspen had been a sounding board for his creative ideas, his biggest fan whenever one of his projects went live, and his biggest cheerleader when he was doubting himself. As much as he sometimes wondered about what it would be like to date her and have a romantic–and sexual–relationship with her, he knew what they had was definitely better.
At least…that’s what he always told himself.
There was no way they would have lasted as a couple. Gabe wasn’t big on romance and she was. He wasn’t comfortable with public displays of affection and she was. As much as he knew Aspen loved being independent and taking care of herself, he also knew she dreamed of meeting a guy who showered her with romance and who would make her feel cherished and loved. And definitely one who was willing to shout it from the rooftops that she was the woman for him.
It obviously hadn’t happened yet, but Aspen was still optimistic that it would.
And there was no way Gabe was going to get in the way of that because he knew he’d just end up disappointing her.
“So,” she began a little too loudly, causing Gabe to jump slightly in his seat. “Are we going to see anything exciting between here and Hagerstown? Anyplace I’ll be tempted to stop and check out?”
“Um…maybe?” he replied warily even as he slowly released her hand. “We have nine hours of driving. That’s just driving time; that doesn’t include stopping for bathroom breaks or meals, so any other stops are just going to make us take that much longer to get to the hotel and stop for the night.”
“Oh, sure. You’re right. I mean, who wants to be stuck in the car longer than they have to, right?”
“Yup.”
They drove for several more miles in silence and there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that it was killing her. “Can you hand me some cookies from the cooler?”
“Already? We’ve been on the road for barely thirty minutes.”
“And?”
“And…cookies and hot cocoa for breakfast seems a little crazy even for you.”
She sighed loudly. “What is your deal today, Gabe? We’ve traveled together a bunch of times before and you’ve never been this grouchy. What’s going on?”
Now it was his turn to sigh. “I don’t know. I think I’m just a little stressed about spending the month with my family.”
“Why? They’re great.”
“Yeah, to you,” he mumbled.
“Care to explain?”
He twisted and fidgeted in his seat a bit before replying. “Any time you’ve been around my folks, it’s been in small doses. There’s a reason I moved so far away from home.”
“But…you always go back for the holidays.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s my way of helping out during the busy season.” He shrugged. “The tree farm has been in my family for like…a hundred years. Most of the year it’s pretty boring, but for the months of November and December, it’s a lot of hard work. Especially for my folks since they’re getting older.”
“I’m sure they have a lot of help, Gabe. Like…if you didn’t go home for these extended trips, I bet they’d be okay.”
“Maybe. I think it’s a little bit of guilt that makes me do it.”
“Guilt? Seriously?”
Nodding, he explained, “It was never something I wanted to do–the tree farm, the lot, any of it. I thought I’d go crazy living in that tiny town and thinking of nothing but Christmas all the time.”
She nudged him playfully with her elbow. “Oh, come on. I would think Christmas year-round would be awesome.”
The snort was out before he could stop it. “There’s nothing wrong with it. I know that. But it just wasn’t for me. So I go home and help and I know it’s not going to be long before my dad is forced to sell the farm because it’s too much for him and he’ll retire and…I’ll be the reason the dream dies.”
“Okay, now you’re just being a little dramatic. Surely there are cousins or other extended family members who could take it over.”
“No one’s expressed any interest,” he said wearily. “So a month of being there and working it every day and then knowing at the end of each day, my folks will look at me as if I’m magically convinced to give up my dream of filmmaking and move back to take over the business.”
“Wow,” she replied with a soft sigh. “I had no idea. Why haven’t you ever shared this with me?”
Aspen was the only one he’d admit something like this to.
“Because I didn’t want you to think less of me,” he murmured. “There’s no silver lining here, Aspen. No way to put a positive spin on it. I love my folks and I’m thankful for the life that the tree farm provided for us, but…it’s just not for me.”
She reached for his hand again. “I would never think less of you, Gabe. I just never realized you had such an issue with your family.”
“This is why I always choose to drive up there. It gives me a couple of days to get my head on straight. I think it’s like a time when I come to grips with how it’s going to be a month of living under one roof with them and sleeping in my old room, and…. thinking of every worse-case scenario in my head and then having imaginary arguments with them and…” He paused and realized how crazy he was starting to sound. “I’m probably overreacting and it’s going to be fine because you’re going to be there with me and I’ll have someone to vent to at the end of the day.”
She glanced over and smiled. “Okay, no more negative talk. You’re freaking me out,” she teased. “I’ve never seen this side of you before and it feels weird. I adore your folks, but I have a feeling I may end up having to go toe-to-toe with them in your defense.”