“Hmm,” she mused and began stroking his hardness up and down.
A low, animallike growl escaped his throat. “Christ, these sweet, sweet hands…” He looked at her with an insatiable hunger.
“I canna hold much longer, lass…” His voice was thick and husky. “I want ye… Will ye be mine?”
Be his…
“Yes.”
He rose to his knees and with a lightning-fast movement, he yanked her up towards him. It was too fast. Too hard. For a brief moment, it reminded her of being with Bryan.
“No!” Amber straightened as a ribbon of fear twisted in her gut. “Not too rough.”
“Lass, ye can trust me. I’ll never do anything to hurt ye.”
That was something she knew without a shadow of a doubt. Owen had protected her ferociously and saved her life several times.
“But you’ll see my scars… They’re ugly, and they’ll never go away…”
He kissed her and pressed his forehead against her. “There’s nothing ugly about ye. Ye’re the most perfect woman that has ever walked the earth.”
“But—”
“I want ye. Scars and all.”
He turned her around so that she was on all four and started kissing her scars so gently it felt like cool feathers stroking her heated flesh. The onslaught of emotion brought tears to her eyes. He turned her face to him and kissed her mouth. She reached out between her legs and took his cock. She directed it to her entrance and arched her back to let him inside her.
He pushed in and entered her, filling her.
“So soft and warm, lass,” he groaned.
Every rock-hard inch of him stretched her. She expanded in all directions, warm and pliable, like modeling clay in his hands. He cupped both her breasts and played with her nipples, rolling them between his thumbs and index fingers, sending waves of sheer elation through her.
He glided in and out of her, his lips on her mouth, his hands on her breasts, naked lust in every stroke of his tongue. He made chest-deep grunts, like he couldn’t get enough of her. And when she didn’t think she could take any more, his hand went between her legs and pinched her clit. She shuddered and cried out as glorious waves of pleasure assaulted her from all sides.
She tilted her head back as he dove inside of her in long, unyielding strokes, continuing to fondle her swollen clit. She bucked back with his every thrust, her breath ragged.
Owen continued murmuring how perfect she was in his arms, how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her, and how he couldn’t ever get enough of her. Time slowed, and Amber had the wildest sensation of falling into the center of the world.
Sweat misted her skin, her body shook on the edge of a climax. Intense, out-of-control spasms began to build within her. A wave of pleasure slammed into her, and her muscles tightened. The spasms racked her body and she convulsed in white-hot, blinding bliss.
Owen stiffened, growled like an animal, and thrust into her with the hiss of her name. They collapsed on the mattress, warm and lax and hugging each other.
As Amber looked into Owen’s eyes, the fog of naked lust faded away, and her heart started to hurt again. Was he just hungry for her, or had this meant more?
She needed to know.
But as she opened her mouth to ask, he turned away, an expression of regret clouding his face.
Chapter 29
What the hell did I just do?
As the warmth and heaviness started leaving his sated body, cold realization crept into his mind.
He’d just done exactly what he’d promised himself he wouldn’t do. Lose his head. Give in to distraction. He sat up, leaving the gorgeous, warm body of the woman he loved. His heart missed a beat at the loss of her touch, and his skin chilled.
“I shouldna have…” Owen said.
She sat up, too, gathering the blanket and clutching it to her chest. He couldn’t bear to look into her eyes. Fear gripped his heart. This distraction might ruin any chance of a successful battle tomorrow. Now that he’d tasted this woman, knew what it was like to lie with her, to have her trembling and shaking from pure pleasure around him, he never wanted this to stop.
He knew he couldn’t afford to let his feeling guide any of his decisions. He couldn’t trust himself. His heart and his head always led him in two different directions.
“Why?” she said, hurt tight in her voice. “Was it bad?”
He turned to her. “Bad? That was the closest I’ve ever felt to God.”
Her expression was part surprise, part understanding, part wonder.
“Then why?” she said on an exhale.
“Because I ken now just like I ken that the sun will rise on the morn that one time with ye will never be enough.”
Amber inhaled a shaky breath. “Then what’s the problem? I don’t want us to stop at one time, either.”
Owen slouched and ran his fingers through his hair. “My whole life, every mistake I’ve ever made was because I’ve let my cock lead me. I canna allow it now, not when the king himself has appointed me to lead his troops.”
“That’s all I am to you?” she said, her voice breaking from hurt. “A distraction? Something your cock can’t resist?”
She may as well have just stabbed him with a knife right in his heart.
“Nae, mo chridhe.” No, my heart. “Ye’re so much more. Ye’re everything.”
Her eyes widened. She inhaled shakily again and moved closer to him, just an inch.
“But ’tis precisely the problem. My heart is full with ye. And when my heart is full, and my cock throbs, my head stops working. I need my head tomorrow. I need my head to be a clear.”
She groaned. “But it doesn’t need to be like this. People love. They can be happy with someone and still focus.”
“Lass…”
She covered his forearm with her hand. “I can help you focus. We can be each other’s support systems.”
Owen’s heart ached. How he wished he believed this could be true. How he wished he could have everything—to have Amber and be the man he wanted to be. He reached for her and cupped her face, her bonnie, perfect skin like flower petals against his fingers.
But that was simply impossible for him. A life where he was a responsible leader and had the woman he loved in his arms was only a dream.
“’Tis good that ye leave tomorrow, lass. And I’m sorry if I hurt ye. But we canna be together. If I want to be a leader worthy of my king’s trust, a leader my clan deserves, I canna let my feelings for ye cloud my judgment.” He shook his head. “Based on my previous mistakes, that can be lethal.”
He thought of Kenneth, of Lachlan, of his grandfather. Of so many more lives lost in the feud with the MacDougalls.
“Owen…”
But before she could say something to change his mind, he stood, pulling his breeches up, then his tunic and his shoes.
“Too much is at stake, Amber. The king’s life, the lives of my clansmen. Your life.”
Amber stood and wrapped the blanket around herself, her shoulders and her arms still bare. God, she had the most beautiful, sculpted shoulders, the muscles on her biceps clearly defined in a feminine way. He itched to brush his tongue along them.
That was exactly why he couldn’t stay.