She opens the door of the Portakabin. There’s a young negotiator sitting with Beth Alton, one of Dannisha’s team who will advise Beth on what to say to Jamie, but Jamie still hasn’t answered Beth’s calls. Rose sits down next to Beth, but Beth looks away from her and presses a number, one button because Jamie is in her favourites, top of the list. Rose wonders how many times she’s tried to phone him now.
‘Does Jamie ever go out on his own?’
To meet terrorists; to be trained.
‘Sometimes. A film or shopping. And for long walks, he likes walking.’
‘Do you know where he goes on his walks?’
Beth shakes her head; her call goes through to message.
‘It’s Mum again, please call me or Dad, sweetheart, please.’
‘Jamie is using a different name on some social media accounts, do you know anything about that?’
Beth looks at her, with relief she thinks.
‘Yes. J-Me. Zac thought of it, capital J and then me. J hyphen me.’
‘A different one. For the last five months, he’s called himself Aryan Knight. He has email, Instagram, Twitter and YouTube accounts in the name of Aryan Knight.’
‘That can’t be Jamie. I mean, why would he want to call himself something like that?’
She seems unable to take in this alternative name, this alternative son.
‘Have you ever heard him use that name? Or refer to it in any way?’
‘No. It’s not Jamie. It’s—’
‘What about the number 18 or 100%?’
Beth turns away from her.
‘Have you heard him say either of those numbers to anyone?’
‘No.’
‘But you recognize them?’
‘He wants to do well in his exams, to get full marks. And he wants an eighteenth-birthday party.’
‘Did you ever hear him talking to anyone else about this party?’
Beth is silent.
‘Has he said anything about 14 Words?’
‘What do you mean, fourteen words?’
‘Maybe you heard him on the phone talk about—’
‘No. I don’t understand. What does it even mean?’
‘It’s a white supremacist terrorist group. Jamie is a member.’
Beth shrinks backwards as if Rose has hit her hard across her face.
‘No. You’ve got it all wrong. He’d never be a part of something like that. He’s not like that. Jamie’s not racist, doesn’t hate people.’
The same certainty with which she said he would never be violent.
‘Our family aren’t like that, or our friends,’ Beth continues. ‘And he goes to this school, this tolerant, liberal school.’
‘I think Jamie’s been depressed and lonely, and I think they preyed on that, Victor and then this group. I think Jamie was groomed first by Victor then by this terrorist organization. They would have made him feel noticed; wanted. And they gave him a cause, made him feel important and valuable. This is how these organizations work. A group like this exploits vulnerable young people.’
‘You’re saying he’s been radicalized?’
‘Yes.’
‘But that’s Muslim teenagers going off to join ISIS or girls going to marry fighters in Syria, it’s not a boy like Jamie.’
As if she can disprove the fact of it by arguing against its probability.
‘He’s pointing a gun at a building full of children,’ Rose says.
‘But he won’t hurt them.’
‘Can you be sure?’
‘Yes. It’s this group and Victor who are making him do it.’
‘No one is standing there making him do this, Mrs Alton.’
‘But they are, they’ve got inside his head, that’s what you’re saying. That they’ve radicalized him.’
Beth has understood.
‘Yes, and I need to know if any of the old Jamie is there.’
‘Of course he’s still there. Of course. I’ve seen that all along, even when he’s been difficult – I’ve seen the old Jamie too. And he’ll want this to be stopped. I just need to talk to him.’
Rose prays that she’s right, and that if she is, Jamie answers his phone.
Her beloved boy, a terrorist; a white supremacist. Everything good broken apart.
You were drowning and I didn’t even see, didn’t rescue you. I let Victor pull you down deeper. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.
All the things she’d worried about, but then dismissed earlier – not having good friends who care about him, his low self-esteem and being unconfident, having his heart broken – are desperately, vitally important because they made him vulnerable to Victor and this appalling group. Antonella wasn’t even a girlfriend, he made that up because he was so sad and lonely and wanting love, and that made him defenceless too.
And she didn’t see. Happening to her boy, right there in front of her, and she didn’t see.
They were trying to brainwash him, strip out who he is, but they haven’t managed it, they haven’t. Because Jamie is still there. Yes, he’s changed in the last few months, beyond recognition from her boy, yes, that’s true. He’s barely spoken to her or Mike. Halloween was the last time he spent an evening with them. He doesn’t want to eat with them, makes himself sandwiches to take to his room, and even his posture’s changed; he’s hunched and stiffer. He doesn’t meet her eye when she talks to him. But then, out of the blue, he’ll make her a cup of tea in her special mug, for no reason, or suddenly smile at her, and the other day, driving to school with Radio 1 on as usual, Wolf Alice came on, a band they both like, and he’d said, ‘Hey, Mum …’ so she’d know to listen.
These moments are spread out, weeks between them sometimes, not all the time like they were six months ago, and they’re tiny things, but they matter because they’re signs that her son is still there; Jamie, who’d never hurt anyone, doesn’t hate anyone, and he wants this to stop.
She calls him again and it goes through to his message, the same message he’s had for over a year, and his voice sounds so young and friendly.
‘Hey, it’s Jamie, leave me a message.’
‘It’s Mum, please ring me, sweetheart, please.’
She hangs up and waits.
What did they do to you, Jamie?
* * *
1 IN 5 BRIT MUSLIMS’ SYMPATHY FOR JIHADIS – Sun
MUSLIMS TELL BRITISH: GO TO HELL!! – Daily Express
MUSLIMS ‘SILENT ON TERROR’ – The Times
JIHADIST KILLERS ON OUR STREETS – Daily Express
HUNDREDS MORE UK MUSLIMS CHOOSE JIHAD THAN ARMY – The Times
MUSLIM SCHOOLS BAN OUR CULTURE – Daily Express
NOW MUSLIMS GET THEIR OWN LAWS IN BRITAIN – Daily Express
PM: UK MUSLIMS HELPING JIHADIS – Daily Mail
BRITAIN GOES HALAL – Sunday Mail
GIVE US FULL SHARIA LAW – Daily Express
MUSLIMS TELL US HOW TO RUN OUR SCHOOLS – Daily Express
SNIFFER DOGS OFFEND MUSLIMS – Daily Express
RAMADAN A DING-DONG – Sun
FURY AT POLICE IN BURKAS – Daily Express
STRANGERS IN OUR OWN COUNTRY – Daily Express
BOMBERS ARE ALL SPONGING ASYLUM SEEKERS – Daily Express