He held her tighter, feeling fiercely protective. “I will slay dragons for you, and I don’t mean metaphorical ones. If you and I begin this, I will make it my mission in life to let every man in London know that if they ever walk into your shop with anything other than money to spend and a gracious demeanor, there will be hell to pay.”
“I’d be Mayfair’s most popular novelty. A duchess mixing salves in an apothecary,” she exclaimed with humor. “And besides, you can’t scuffle with every aristocrat in London, Arlo.”
“If it means I get to have you?” he asked, his voice serious. “Just watch me. And my duchess will be the talk of the town, because she’s the most beautiful and brilliant woman in England.” He could feel her breath catch at his words.
“Let’s sleep,” she whispered and peppering kisses to his warm skin. “Let’s talk in the morning.”
When he woke, she was gone from his bedroom. He sat up, scrambling to find his trousers. He rang the bell for Cyrus, who was in his room within seconds.
“Is she gone?” he asked, his heart beating fast. But he’d almost expected this. She was testing him, needing to be sure he’d meant what he said.
Before Cyrus opened his mouth, Arlo already knew the answer. “I’m afraid she is, Your Grace. She asked her chambermaid to help her slip out early this morning,” Cyrus informed him. “She only took her smaller valise and asked we forward the rest.”
“She did?” he asked as he paced the room. Then he understood. She’d left him a reason to go to her, if he chose to use it. The time for words was over, and now he had to show what he’d do to keep her. “Have the carriage ready in five minutes.” Cyrus was already gone from the bedroom by the time Arlo slid on a fresh shirt.
He was going after her.
He had to prove to her this was not a whim or a matter of convenience. Everyone took Marena at her word that she didn’t need grand gestures, that she was fine in her quiet, lonely life. But they didn’t know the fire that burned in her. They hadn’t watched her become a storm of lust and passion, one she had only given to him. He had to tell her that he would never expect she renounce who she was for him, that he wanted her exactly as she was. He had to reassure her that he didn’t expect her to stop doing what she loved. That he would use all his resources to make sure she could continue to pursue her every passion, if that meant he could keep her by his side.
If she left for London before they agreed to what would happen next, he would lose his chance. The possibility of it filled him with dread. He knew, unequivocally that letting Marena slip from his fingers would be the biggest mistake of his life.
Chapter Fifteen
“Do you need anything, mademoiselle?”
Marena shook her head at the attendant who, for the second time in the last half hour, had popped his head into her private train car to ask if she required anything. She had the compartment to herself. There were three other empty seats and a small table where they would serve her food. There was a sleeping compartment too, with a big, comfortable bed which she would probably use later. At any other moment she would’ve been embarrassed over such extravagance. But this morning, when she felt utterly miserable and had gotten almost no sleep, she was grateful for Arlo’s generosity.
She’d lain in his arms until right before dawn, her stomach in knots, misery rolling over her in waves. She wanted him too much, and that was so utterly mad. But what terrified her was the need for him. Even as she pressed herself to him, she felt the pain of his absence. She could see herself willing to compromise on her hard-won freedoms only to have more time with him. And then end up with nothing. Because there was no future for them, not unless he was willing let her continue her work. A duchess working as an herbalist…that could never happen.
So, she ran.
She’d arrived so early at the station that she’d been the first passenger on the train. But now, the departure time was near. She looked out the window, smothering the foolish hope that Arlo would come running across the platform, yelling for her to get off the train.
She imagined his long, powerful legs swallowing the distance, carrying his frame with ease as he leapt onto the train car and made his way down the aisles, calling for her. Scandalizing all the first-class passengers and not caring because he was determined to declare his love to her. But the platform was almost empty and the train only minutes from leaving the station. She closed her eyes, riddled with doubt, missing him already. She’d known from their first kiss that she would never forget what it was like to be in his arms.
There was a knock on her compartment door again, and this time she didn’t have the composure to be cordial. “I don’t need anything! Please just go.”
Marena laid her head against the window, hoping she’d scared away whomever was on the other side of the door, but after a moment she heard the doorknob turn. She swiveled to give them a piece of her mind. “I said—”
The rest of the words died in her throat.
“Such tone, darling.” His face was inscrutable, his full lips in a neutral line, eyebrows and forehead smooth, but those blue eyes were stormy, unsure.
The compartment, which only a minute ago had seemed vast and empty, filled with Arlo. His body—his presence—made the space feel small. And her heart...it was somewhere in her throat, trying its best to leap out of her.
“You’re here,” she said, standing so that she was only a couple of feet from him. It still felt like he was an ocean away.
“I am.” He looked at her for a long time, his back against the narrow door. He was once again impeccably attired, this time in a looser fitting morning suit, the better for a long day on the train. She, on the other hand, was…disheveled. She’d barely paid attention to what she put on, and her hair was almost certainly a disaster. And yet everywhere his eyes landed, they seemed to gobble her up.
She ran a hand over the bodice of her dress, tipping her chin at the box he was holding. “What’s that?”
“The sweets I promised you.” He offered the parcel to her. She took it from him, giving him a confused look. “The other night at l’Anglais,” he said. “I told you I’d get you the best sweets in Paris.”
Now her entire face was on fire. “Oh.”
“I also brought you some pastries because you missed breakfast.” Her lips turned slightly at that, but she focused on gently placing the box of sweets on one of the seat before turning to face him again.
“Why are you always trying to feed me?” she asked, feigning an irritation she did not at all feel.
“Because I like watching you eat, and I like giving you what you need.” He took a step toward her at the same time she reached for him. Soon they were embracing, his lips on hers. How could she believe she’d be fine letting this slip away? His hunger matched hers and they only stopped when the train started to move. He sat on the settee, bringing her with him so she was sprawled on his lap. “Were you really going to leave without saying goodbye?”
She closed her eyes, the misery from before coming back in earnest. “I didn’t know what else to do, Arlo. I don’t want to give up my work and I don’t know if I could be in your world. I don’t want to be scorned.”