Evan watched as Clara, Angie, and Noel started to clear the table, leaving him and AJ with the kids and Kyle. As he glanced over at his brother, sorrow filled him, hating that his brother was still engaged to the woman who exiled another. Evan thought of Camille Danford and all the times she had made his brother happy, but Angie came back, and it had been a scandal that drove Camille away. It had been years since anyone had heard from her. Evan had even seen her mother a few months back. She had smiled sweetly and walked past him, not wanting anything to do with him. He was the brother of the man responsible for her daughter fleeing Boston.
As Evan was about to ask Kyle how he was, AJ covered his hand with hers. “I promise we won’t be gone for too long,” she reassured with words he had given her so many years ago. They had snuck away last time, but this time they couldn’t. “Kyle, do you mind keeping an eye on Miller and Seb for a little bit?”
Kyle nodded, but he wouldn’t meet AJ’s gaze—which was worrying for Evan. “Sure,” he said as AJ stood from her chair and urging Evan up from his.
AJ kissed the top of Miller’s head as she ate the shortbread cookies Clara had made. “Mummy and Daddy will be right back, okay, my love?”
Miller nodded as Kyle took AJ’s seat so that he was next to the kids. “Okay, Mummy.”
Evan kissed his daughter’s cheek before his wife took his hand and led him out of her family’s home and into the snowy Christmas afternoon. The glare from the bright white snow had him squinting his eyes as he followed AJ to his childhood home next door. As if she sensed that his mind was elsewhere, she sighed.
“I hate how unhappy he is, too, Evan,” AJ mentioned as they walked through the snow-covered path to Kyle’s house next door. The house Evan had sold to him after their parents had given him the deed as a college graduation present. Though it was Kyle’s house, he refused to live in it after Camille left.
Evan nodded, understanding his wife’s sorrow for his brother. “I know he’s at fault, but he’s my brother, and I hate seeing him suffer. Camille changed him for the better. I’m not saying I don’t like Angie, but she left him, and he was moving on. Then she came back and …”
“He broke Camille’s heart, Evan,” she reminded him with a sigh as they walked up the steps. AJ pulled out the spare key Kyle had given them for emergencies and slid it into the lock. Then she looked at him. “And I don’t hate Angie, either, but we have to do a better job of making her feel welcomed. Camille would have wanted that. She’s gone. She’s been gone for years.”
“I just want him to be happy.”
Pulling the key from the lock, AJ returned it to her jacket pocket and opened the door. “I want that, too,” she said with hope thick in her voice for his brother. Even growing up, she had hoped so much for Kyle and his happiness. “Come on. We don’t have a lot of time. Let’s celebrate our Christmas.”
Realizing that his troubling thoughts and worry over his brother might have affected his wife, Evan shook his head and focused on AJ. She had put so much thought in making today special. It should have been him that made this much effort. Sure, he bought her a book she had wanted, but was it the same as revisiting a moment that changed their lives?
Next Christmas, I’ll do better by you, AJ.
AJ held his hand and walked him into the house Kyle refused to call home without Camille. Kicking the door closed behind them, Evan took the lead, remembering this part of the memory. He ushered his wife up the stairs, down the hall, and to his childhood bedroom in no time at all. Once inside, he was surprised to see the once empty bedroom had a Christmas tree by the window with lights all over the wall, and mistletoe above the wooden window frame. The guilt that his Christmas present for her hadn’t lived up to her effort festered in his chest. AJ has been unwell for the past week, and she still managed this surprise.
“I just got you a book,” he said in a heavy voice as he faced his wife.
She dragged him to the window and softly cupped his cheek with the hand that his ring settled on. The same ring he placed on her finger when he married her months after their daughter was born. To this day, he couldn’t believe that his forever was with AJ. His best friend. The mother of his child. The love of his life.
“Evan.” Her voice was low. “It’s not just a book. Niels Bohr’s On the Quantum Theory of Line-Spectra is the framework of modern quantum theory. It’s what my dissertation is trying to remodel and prove that there’s more to quantum theory than we’ve already discovered. It’s also my husband’s belief in and understanding of me. You understand my needs, Evan. You knew Bohr’s doctorate was what I needed.” AJ glanced around the room. “These are just lights, some mistletoe, and a Christmas tree in your old room.”
Reaching up, Evan wrapped his fingers around his wife’s wrist, wanting to hold her. “They symbolize a memory, AJ. One of our good ones. This means …” He breathed out and took in the room. The only room that felt warmth when he was a kid because of his best friend. His eyes landed on his soul mate. “Everything. This means everything to me, AJ. It’s a reflection of the moment I told you I loved you without even realizing how true those words were. I meant them then, and I mean them now. I’ll always mean them. Eight protons …”
In the years since their love became requited, she had come to finish his declaration of love and made them her own, too. As he waited for her to say the words, AJ pulled her hand from his face and reached into her jacket pocket.
Then she presented him a folded card and whispered, “Eight neutrons.”
Evan’s brows furrowed as he took the card. He lifted his eyes to find her encouraging smile. Unfolding the card, he lowered his gaze and his eyes widened at the black and white image.
“AJ,” he breathed in shock.
“Merry Christmas, Evan.”
He looked at his wife. The last time she gave him the news of Miller, it had been at Fenway Park, but in this spot, at this moment, she gave him a gift he could never top. Not that he ever wanted to.
Evan pressed his palm gently on her stomach. “You’re pregnant.”
AJ nodded with a laugh and tears in her eyes. “What’s another little atom in this universe?”
“Oh, my God, you’re pregnant!” Then it hit him as his hand fell away from her stomach. “That’s why you’ve been sick and tired.”
“Yes,” she confirmed. “I found out last week at the hospital. I’m eight weeks, so we can’t tell anyone just yet. I had a feeling, but I thought I was exhausted from working hours upon hours on my dissertation.”
Evan’s body seized up. “AJ, your Ph.D.—”
His wife’s soft touch distracted him as she cradled his jaw. She had pushed back starting her Ph.D. when she was pregnant with Miller, and another baby could delay her completion. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Thankfully, I’m in my last year. We’ll be okay, right?”
He nodded. The thought of AJ pregnant again brought a tremor to his chest. Another baby should scare him, but he wanted to add to their family. To give Miller the blessing of becoming a big sister. That glow AJ had with Miller, she’d have it again with a little atom that would grow with their love.