“He was never around. Ever. He even missed our birthdays, Grace.” He sighs loudly. “When Drew and I were in college, we came home for Christmas one year and our dad never came to Napa to celebrate with us. We spent two weeks in Napa and didn’t see him once.”
Aaron pauses and grabs the spoon to stir the soup again. “Early on, I learned he wasn’t going to be a prominent fixture in my life or Drew’s. I guess I was unaffected by the lack of a relationship I had with my dad, but Drew, he always took it hard. He’s the one who would act out in his absence. He always wanted the attention of our father, and our father was too busy to give a shit. He’s the one that took it personally that our dad neglected us. Drew needed him and I didn’t. We were just built differently.” He shrugs, but I see how the pain has chipped away at his casual exterior. It affects him; he’s just learned to control it.
And I guess I can see what he’s saying, how he and Drew are different. Aaron seems disconnected from personal relationships, where Drew strives to grow them. Drew wants to know every intimate detail; Aaron wants the surface details. It’s crazy how two men, the same blood, can be so vastly different.
“What I’m getting at is that Drew vowed from a very young age to never be like our father. Only, he’s become the one most like him. When our dad was dying, it was Drew who said he wanted to own and run McPherson Advertising. I didn’t give a shit about owning it. Drew wanted to manage the finite details, I just wanted a job. It was Drew’s ambition that got McPherson Advertising to where it was when he bought Williams Global, and in doing so, he started seeing more and more of our father in himself. He mentioned it to me last week, and…it eats at him.”
Aaron turns the knob to shut off the burner for the soup that’s now boiling in the sauce pan. “After everything that happened with Melissa, he told my mom he never saw himself getting married or having kids because he thought he was becoming exactly what he said he’d never become—just like our father. She shared this with me in confidence. I thought he was burying himself in work as a means of getting over Melissa…which he was, but I always knew he wanted more than just a career.” He pauses.
I swallow hard as I reach into the cupboard and pull down two bowls, handing them to Aaron. He takes them from me and carefully spoons soup into the two bowls while continuing on with his story.
“Then he met you, Grace. You changed the narrative to his story. I could see he finally wanted something other than his career—he loves you. You know he loves you—I know he loves you...and I thought he was ready for more…but I think it just happened all too fast.”
“He said he didn’t want our baby,” I say, barely above a whisper. “His words were full of contempt and…” I pause taking a deep breath. “I understand he was caught off guard, but so was I.” My eyes sting with newly formed tears and I swallow hard against the growing lump in my throat. “But, I never, not even for one fraction of a second, didn’t want our baby.” I look up and meet Aaron’s gaze. His eyes appearing misty.
“And I guarantee you, Drew feels the same. I think he used the wrong words to express what he was feeling—” he says with certainty.
I shake my head, disregarding his assumption. If only Aaron could have seen the look on his face. The way he looked at me, his eyes full of disgust. “Can I ask you a favor?” I ask Aaron as I carry the two bowls of soup over to the small bistro table that is my kitchen table.
“Anything.” He follows me.
“I need you to make some calls for me.”
He looks at me perplexed. “Calls for what?” He slides into the wooden chair across from me.
“I need you to help me get a job at another agency.”
His eyes drop from mine to the bowl of soup in front of him.
I sigh, feeling desperate. I need someone’s help, and it’s not going to be Drew. “I plan to do this alone, Aaron. Everything else in my life, I’ve done on my own.” My voice breaks and I can feel my chin quiver as my emotions bubble to the surface once again. “I can do this too, but I can’t see him every day. I’m not strong enough.”
“Grace.” He says my name softly.
“Please. It’s the only thing I’ll ever ask you to do for me.” There is an edge of desperation in my voice.
He rests his elbows on the edge of the table and pinches his eyes closed, burying his face in his hands.
“Please.”
We eat in silence as Aaron contemplates my question. When I press him again, he looks at me with sad eyes. “I’ll do whatever you need me to, but, Grace,” he pauses and swallows hard, “before I make any calls, you need to agree to meet with him.”
I shake my head. “No. I can’t—”
“Grace…” he scolds me.
“Not yet.”
He nods his head in understanding. Aaron clears our bowls and I decide to take a shower. When I finish, I find Aaron on the love seat, pounding away on his phone.
“You can leave now,” I say, knowing how rude it sounds, but I just want to be alone. I thought he would have left when I was in the shower.
“Jamie is asking about you.” He looks up from his phone.
My jaw tightens. “Tell her I’m fine and I’ll call her tomorrow.”
He nods and pounds out a quick message. There’s a knock on the door, and I narrow my eyes at Aaron in realization of his betrayal. It’s Drew. No one comes to my door, ever.
He holds up his hands in surrender before standing up. “I couldn’t stop him,” he swears, leaning in and pressing a quick kiss to my cheek. He holds my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. “Just hear him out.” He releases my shoulders and shrugs on his jacket before opening the apartment door.
Drew, looking desperate and harried, pushes his way in past Aaron and stops in front of me. I’m a mess, dressed in dirty yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt left behind in my hamper, but Drew doesn’t look much better. His eyes are rimmed red and his face is ashen.
He turns to Aaron, who’s just stepping out of the apartment. “Tony will take you back.”
Aaron nods in acknowledgement and winks at me, a silent vow of strength.
“What do you want, Drew?” I ask curtly. I’m done with his bullshit and I’m exhausted, not in the mood for a conversation at the moment.
“You,” he answers sincerely. Tears shimmer in the corner of his eyes. “Our baby.”
I huff out a breath of air and shake my head in disgust.
“Us. I want all of us,” he continues.
“Twelve hours ago, you didn’t want any of this,” I remind him. “Aaron told me your fucked-up daddy issues. I don’t give a shit, Drew. You think your life has been so bad…well newsflash, it hasn’t been.” Now I’m being a bitch. It’s not my place to disregard his emotions or downplay his hurt, and I feel immediately guilty the moment those words roll off my tongue. But I’m angry and hurt and he needs to know that. “You promised me you loved me. You told me to trust you, and I did, and then you hurt me—”
“I know.” His voice breaks. “I love you, Gracie. More than I love myself, and I fucked up. I fucked up so big.” He shakes his head. “I panicked, I got scared…I hurt the one person who I’d die for…you.”