“And you think decoding my relationship with Ethan would do that?”
“Whether you like to admit it or not, he’s the only one you consider a worthy rival.”
“Worthy isn’t the word I would use. Try infuriating.”
“Come on, tell me what it’s all about.”
His thumb continues gliding up and down my skin, creating maddening friction. “All you need to know is that I don’t like him close to you.”
“Why?”
“Because.”
“That doesn’t answer my question.”
“It wasn’t supposed to.”
“Wait. Is it because of your attraction to the same type of women?” I can’t believe I haven’t thought about that before now. It makes complete sense that Jonathan wants me away from Ethan because he thinks Ethan also sees me the way he does.
His thumb halts as he narrows his eyes. “How do you know about that?”
“Ethan told me.”
“Ethan told you,” he repeats with a lethal edge. “What else did he tell you?”
“He said you used to have threesomes and share women, and that you’re attracted to the same type.”
“And then he said he could be better than me, didn’t he? I’m going to fucking murder him.”
“He didn’t say that.”
“He always said that to the women.” His lips twists. “In fact, he didn’t need to. They gravitated towards him anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
He pauses, and I suspect he won’t answer my question, as usual, when he feels pressed, but then he speaks quietly. “In the past, I was always the one the women wanted to fuck, but the one they envisioned a relationship with was Ethan.”
Oh. Jonathan feels like I would be like them. Far from it. It’s crazy, but I wouldn’t choose anyone above him.
“In case you didn’t notice, you’re intimidating, Jonathan.”
He narrows his eyes on me again. “Right.”
“I mean it. You have a god-like presence that no one dares to come near.”
“You did.”
“I would always choose you.”
“Always?”
“Always.”
He smiles a little before he schools his expression. “Ethan is still dead for putting the idea in your head.”
“Stop it.”
“Don’t try to protect him. His life is over.”
“I’m not.” I smile tentatively. “He really didn’t make that suggestion.”
And if he had, I would’ve definitely protected him. Judging by Jonathan’s reaction, he really wouldn’t hesitate to hurt him.
“Ethan is guilty until proven innocent.”
“It should be the other way around, Jonathan.”
“Not in my book.” His facial expression is hard as granite. “What else did he run his mouth about? Don’t leave anything out.”
“Just that and the fact that you prefer broken women. How come the two of you are attracted to the same type?”
He remains silent for a beat before his calm voice drifts all around me like a halo, “It’s a challenge.”
“A challenge?”
“Ethan and I don’t like normal. Normal is boring. Back in university, we had no problem having girls fall at our feet, but the high soon withered away. Broken women, on the other hand, were interesting. We got to explore them and bring them to heights even they didn’t think was possible. It was thrilling for the three of us.”
My throat dries at the image of Jonathan and Ethan worshipping a woman. I don’t like it — not that I shouldn’t. It was way back. I still don’t like it, damn it.
The fact that Jonathan also considers me a challenge is what sits badly at the bottom of my stomach.
Is that all I am to him?
“You shouldn’t be mad at Ethan, then,” I murmur. “He must think there’ll be sharing like in the past.”
One moment I’m sitting, the next, Jonathan drags me over. I fall all over his lap with a gasp. His fingers are still wrapped around my throat as his eyes darken to a frightening colour.
I’m staring up at him and trapped in that gaze that’s able to not only dissect me, but simultaneously reach inside me.
“That won’t be fucking happening.” His voice is clipped with an edge that’s meant to cut.
“N-no?”
“No one but me gets to fucking touch you. If anyone attempts to, they’ll disappear and never return.”
His pure male possessiveness could be scary at some level, but for some reason, it cools the fire burning in my chest.
“You would do that?”
“I would do more than that, Aurora. Do you think I was joking when I said you’re mine?” His fingers cup me over my shorts, eliciting a rush of pleasure. “I’m going to put a baby in you to prove it.”
My smile falls at his words.
It all makes sense now, the fact that he’s never used a condom and that at some point, he started coming inside me and often fucks his seed into me. Or the fact that he nodded with approval when I told him I don’t use any birth control.
The tyrant has been trying to impregnate me all this time.
It should make me angry or something, but I can’t get past the bitter taste lingering at the back of my throat.
“You can’t,” I murmur.
“I can’t what?”
“You can’t put a baby in me. I’m barren, Jonathan.” My voice chokes on his name and I sit up, needing the distance.
He lets me go, and I’m thankful he’s allowing me to breathe in something other than his woodsy scent. Maybe he’ll hate me now that I can’t give him the baby he wants. At the beginning, I swear he was against it, which made sense, considering he has Aiden and Levi, and to an extent, it made me comfortable.
The fact that he changed his mind to wanting babies is messing with my head. I hate this feeling, the fact that I’m defective in so many ways. The fact that I can do nothing to fix it.
“How did that happen?” His voice is the same, with that edge of control and firmness, and, in a way, I’m thankful for it.
“I was born this way. I discovered it in my late teens when I went to the GP for birth control. She ran some tests and told me I was born with a genetically damaged ovary, so I can never have children of my own.”
Silence.
It stretches between us for a second before I chance a peek at Jonathan. He’s watching me with the same intensity as usual.
Before he can say anything, I blurt, “So it won’t be happening — children, I mean. If you want those, then you should search elsewhere and find someone else —”
I’m cut off when he grabs me by the throat again and kisses me with an intensity that robs my breaths, thoughts, and words. I fall into Jonathan, my fingers gripping his T-shirt, and my eyes screwing shut at the raw power and sensuality in his kiss.
It’s like he’s driving a point home with his mouth, and although I can’t exactly pinpoint it, I feel it. I fall into it. I become one with it.
His lips wrench away from mine as both of us pant, sucking in each other’s air. “Fuck that. Fuck anyone who’s not you, wild one.”