“Pretend married,” she corrected. When Seth’s mouth found a bare spot of skin on her neck and sucked lightly, he felt her go instantly languid in the circle of his arms.
“Stay the night with me again, Josie,” he whispered into her hair. Her relaxed frame pulled taut like a wire at the invitation. He kissed under her earlobe and something about that made her body melt once again. “I just want to be with you.”
She withdrew a little and looked up at him, nodding silently before taking his hand to lead him down the hall.
Every nerve ending in Seth’s body pulsed in anticipation, each step ratcheting up the adrenaline that coursed through him like its own sort of energy. When Josie turned around and shut the bedroom door behind them, he just about lost it. There was something so intimate in the act. They had the entire house to themselves, but now they were closed off in his room, in this small, sacred space, and he knew it would take everything in him to keep his word that he wouldn’t let things go too far.
She padded over the hardwood to him, a heady look fixed in her eyes. Her fingers found the top button on his shirt, then the one below, until she had undone each one and the soft fabric hung open at his sides. She placed her hands on his stomach and Seth’s breath hissed instinctually between his lips at the contact. With a measured gaze, she ran her palms up his bare chest and around to his shoulders, slinking the shirt from his body. When her fingers dipped down to his belt, pulling the leather back and then unhooking the buckle, Seth trapped his breath in his lungs so as not to tremble it out in a nervous, ragged rush. It was too much, how she met and held his stare while her hands worked to tug the belt free from his jeans.
When the leather strap hit the floor, Seth snapped.
He lifted her up and took her mouth in a kiss. Josie’s legs wrapped around his waist and he walked over to the bed, their lips never parting. He wanted nothing more than to toss her onto it and take her in every way imaginable, but he’d promised to protect her and that was something he intended to do. He laid her down gently and when her head hit the pillow, her hair fanning out around her gorgeous face flushed with desire, her expectant gaze was a siren call he couldn’t keep from answering.
His hands found the hem of her shirt. She wriggled against the mattress to allow the fabric to pull free while Seth lifted her t-shirt up and over her head. He tossed it to the other side of the bed and sat back, unable to keep from staring at the overwhelming vision before him.
Josie’s arms crossed over her upper body.
“Don’t do that.” He shook his head and came closer. “You’re beautiful.”
“I’m not.” She laughed nervously. “Seth, I’m wearing a sports bra.” Her hand slapped against her forehead and she rolled her eyes. “I’m not even one of those girls that has pretty, matching underwear.”
“You think I care about that?” He pulled her hand back to admire her. “You’re perfect, Josie. Perfect for me.”
She looked like she might cry and for a moment he worried he’d said something wrong, but when she undid the button on her jeans and shimmied out of them, he hoped she had decided to truly believe his words. She laid there next to him in a black sports bra and boy shorts and even though he’d seen women in less in his lifetime, it was enough to entirely do him in.
“Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
She rolled onto her side to face him. “Why don’t you show me?”
22
Josie
Josie had never had a man so attentive to her. Every move, every kiss, every caress was to make sure she felt safe and cared for. Maybe even loved, but she couldn’t let her heart venture into that territory yet. Seth was ever the gentleman even when she could sense it took everything within him to stay that way.
His fingers traced the slope of her curves, his hands roved over her skin, and his mouth followed the path marked out by his touch. The stubble on his chin rubbed in a delicious, almost excruciating, way and she found herself mesmerized with each corded muscle on his strong body as he bound her tightly in his arms. She wanted to explore him—every part of him. Even though she’d never had a real boyfriend, she’d given herself to men in the past and knew that it never ended well when the lines of lust were crossed.
With Seth, she never wanted things to end.
“Seth,” she groaned when his mouth met her collarbone and then dipped just below it. She raked her fingers through his hair and held him there.
“Josie,” he breathed in a husky voice against her fevered skin. “We’re going to need to stop unless you’re okay with going farther.”
It felt like both an invitation and a warning, and for a few heartbeats she didn’t know which direction to take. Her body wanted Seth, there was no denying that. Her heart did, too. But her head—the quiet voice that had to shout over everything else to be heard—told her to wait.
She rolled off of him and flopped back onto the mattress with an exasperated huff. “I’m sorry.”
“What on earth do you have to be sorry for?” He propped up onto his elbow to look at her, his finger lightly touching her chin to direct her gaze back onto him.
“I think we should probably stop.”
“Don’t apologize for that.” The back of his knuckle grazed her cheekbone. “You do not have to apologize for drawing a line, Josie. Never. I will always respect that. Respect you.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, Seth. I do. Badly. I just think things have gotten so complicated recently and if we sleep together, it’ll only make that worse.”
“I totally get that.”
He rotated onto his back and pulled Josie over to lay her head on his chest. Her fingers traced the patch of hair there and she could feel the slight rise and fall as his soft breathing decelerated into a slower rhythm.
Josie hadn’t grown up with an ideal wedding in mind. No perfect dress. No preferred flavor of cake. No favorite destination or fancy venue.
When she thought of her future, she couldn’t see it because the things she wanted out of life weren’t tangible milestones like engagements or weddings. She couldn’t see her future, but she could always feel it.
She wanted safety. Security. Love and respect.
Envisioning all of that wasn’t easy, but right now, as she slipped her eyes shut, she finally saw those desires take shape in the form of the man next to her.
When she hoped for the future, she saw Seth in it.
“What are you thinking?” he rasped into her hair as he mindlessly smoothed it with his palm. He kissed her forehead and let his lips linger there a moment before pulling back.
“That it’s going to be really hard to let you go.”
“Then don’t.”
“We can’t do this forever, Seth. At some point we’ll have to come clean.”
“But what if we could? Maybe it’s a little backward—I’ll give you that. But what if we played this all the way out and we actually worked? Crazier things have happened.”
He wasn’t wrong. After all, what they were doing wasn’t all that different than an arranged marriage, right? She had heard many success stories where a bride and groom met only briefly before walking down the aisle. Heck, she had even seen a reality television show with that very premise.