Then he’ll be gone.
We get back to the house, and he walks me to the back door. “See you in a little while.” With that he kisses my cheek before jogging down to the cottage where he stays.
I mix up the ingredients I’d set out for dinner, boiled corn on the cob, shake and bake chicken, and fresh tomatoes. The men wolf it down, while I watch them not really hungry. As usual, Taron shoos me out while he and Leon do the dishes. He’s friendly and gives me sweet smiles, but he seems to have completely withdrawn.
My chest is heavy, and as much as I hate to admit it, I cry in the shower. I hate being a baby. I’m too old to cry over a boy, but it still hurts.
Lying on my bed, I’m not in the mood to work on my cosmetics stock tonight. I’ve almost met my quota for Mindy’s mom, anyway.
Snatching up my phone, I send a text to my friend. You around?
Staring at the face, I wait for her to reply. I need her to reply.
A few seconds pass then I see the gray dots bouncing.
What’s up?
Nothing. Everything’s down. I find the perfect guy, and he’s too nice to punch my V-card.
More gray dots as I wait.
I KNEW IT!!!
“Jeez, Min!” I crossing my arms, staring at the phone a second, then I pick it up again. No shouty caps. I’m in pain.
Mr. Hemsworth won’t give you his gift? (crying-laugh emoji)
No, Digger. Who else? (gag emoji)
She replies with a string of emojis—the gag one, the green-faced vomit one, the one with Xs for eyes.
I shake my head and tap back. What do I do? I told him the truth, and he shut down on me.
GOOD. You’re not ready. Are you even on the pill?
Chewing my lip, I think about this… I hadn’t really considered birth control. Way to use your brain, Noel. Where would I even get birth control? Everybody in town will talk if I go to Dr. Fieldstone…
My friend doesn’t miss a beat. I’ll take you to the clinic in Shreveport tomorrow. Meet you at eight.
I’m starting my reply when a tapping on my window makes me throw the phone on my bed. Akela doesn’t even flinch. My eyes fly to the glass, and Taron is outside, smiling like always.
I go to him and slide it open. “Hey.”
Everything feels quieter tonight.
“Hey…” He swings his legs into the room and pulls me between them like always. “You’re not making any lotions or lip balms?”
My hands are on his shoulders, and I study my fingernails. “I don’t feel like it.”
He doesn’t say anything, and I steal a glance at his face. He’s looking away, and he seems to be struggling with something.
My sadness melts into anger. Was he hoping I’d be an easy lay before he left for South America? Is he trying to figure out how to let me down now? I don’t let anyone make me feel inferior. Ever. Dolly Parton says a strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and winks.
“You’d better head on back to the cottage now. Morning comes early.” Mentally, I pull up my big-girl panties and prepare to push him out the window, out of my heart, when he catches my arms.
“I’ve been thinking all evening about what you said.” His blue-green eyes are so earnest, I almost feel ashamed for thinking bad thoughts about him. “I can’t take that from you and leave, Noel. It’s the same as asking you to wait for me. It’s not fair…”
“You didn’t ask me to wait for you.” My voice is quiet, and our gazes mingle in a swirl of longing and sadness and reality hitting us in the face.
“It doesn’t mean I don’t want to.” His voice drops lower. His hands grasp mine, and I lower my eyes to them—long fingers, neatly trimmed nails. He’s gorgeous, top to bottom.
Lifting my chin, my voice is sassy, defiant. “Whatever happens between us is as much my decision as it is yours.”
“Yes, but I have more experience with this than you do.”
“You’ve slept with a lot of women?”
“No,” he answers fast. “When it happens, it matters. Especially the first time.”
“Well, thank you for being so considerate.” I start to move away. The last thing I need is another know-it-all guy telling me how I feel.
“Stop.” Taron pulls me firmly against his chest. “Be mad at me if you want—I’m telling you the truth. I won’t hurt you.”
I see the break in his eyes, and it breaks something in me. I understand deeply he’s not rejecting me. After all we’ve shared, I don’t know how I could ever believe he was.
Reaching out, I thread my fingers in his hair, looking deeply into his blue-green eyes. “I’ve waited so long for you to appear. You can’t hurt me.”
Strong hands cup my cheeks, and he pulls my mouth to his. Our lips part, and our tongues entwine. Tears heat my closed eyes, but I won’t allow them to escape. I won’t give him any reason to think I’m not strong enough for this, even if the idea of saying goodbye leaves my insides in shreds.
He pulls back, looking deep in my eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
With that, he’s out the window, heading back across the yard. As I watch him go, I can’t help thinking, Yes, you will. You’ll see me every day as long as you’re here.
The teams don’t come on the weekends, but that doesn’t mean the work stops. I run down before anyone is up and whip up a batch of pancakes. I cut up fresh peaches and put them in the refrigerator and stick a note on the microwave saying I’ll be back after lunch.
Sawyer will be bitching, but this appointment is too important to skip. I’ve never visited a Planned Parenthood. Everybody around here thinks they’re evil, but I know a lot of the workers’ wives go to them for free birth control. An hour later, I’m driving home with Mindy and a round, plastic pack of pills in my bag.
We pull up to a quiet house, and Mindy lets me out at the back door. “Doesn’t look like they’re home.”
“Probably off picking up more crates.” It’s just as well. I don’t need a bunch of questions about where I’ve been. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Tell your mom I’ll have everything ready for her Wednesday.”
“She’s real excited to see how your line sells.”
“Me too.” I give her a hug and dash up the back steps, going straight to my room and hiding the pills in my nightstand.
From there, I head to the kitchen, bringing in baskets of bruised peaches and putting them beside the sink. I spend all day cooking them down for preserves and jelly or cutting them up and throwing bags in the freezer for ice cream and sorbet.
The festival opens Wednesday night, and it’ll take me all week to make enough for selling at Miss Jenny’s table. It’s my last chance to prove to Sawyer a store is a good idea before he leaves, and I’m hoping to make a killing.
That night, after stir-fry beef and peach salad, Taron recruits my brother to help clean up and appears as always at my window, affectionate as ever and ready to say goodnight before things get too hot between us.
It’s the worst.
The next morning, I dutifully take my pill before heading to church. I’m not even discussing this with Jesus. He put this gorgeous man in my life, and I’m not wasting the opportunity.
Another night of chaste kisses and Taron’s early departure from my bedroom has me almost ready to climb the walls. I’m not worried, though. I have a plan, and the next morning, I get up and take my pill.