21
Annani
“I should be with Sari.” Annani paced the length of her small receiving room. “My daughter needs me.”
Ogidu bowed. “Would you like me to escort you, Clan Mother?”
“Thank you, but I am just talking to myself.”
Not comprehending, her butler tilted his head.
“You may go.” She dismissed him with a wave of her hand.
“As you wish, Clan Mother.” He bowed again and retreated, walking backward until he reached the door.
When Amanda had called with the news about David, Annani had chosen to stay in the suite and send Alena in her place. Her reasoning had been that there was no need for her to take part in the brouhaha surrounding the transitioning Dormant, and that her conflicting feelings about him would only trouble Sari.
Annani had done her best to treat David as if he was a stranger that she was meeting for the first time, but it had been difficult to ignore the familiar vibe she was picking up from him. Every time she was near him, her mind took her to a time and place that had left a scar on her soul, an ugly episode that was best forgotten.
She wondered whether anyone besides her sensed David’s dual nature. The outer layer of civility and mellow attitude was deceptive, and it was so thick that even David himself was not aware of the volatility hidden deep inside him.
If nothing triggered it, David could spend his entire life unaware of the fierceness hiding underneath his Ivy League education and the good manners his parents had instilled in him. But life was unpredictable, and sooner or later, a strong enough trigger would activate the warrior.
It was not necessarily a bad thing. Once David transitioned and gained immortal strength, his warrior-like tendencies could be utilized to protect Sari and the clan. The problem was that aggression was a double-edged sword. Whether it was used for good or evil depended on other factors making up a person’s constitution.
Not for the first time, Annani wondered about the nature of the eternal soul and where it originated from. Her ancestors had vast knowledge and had even discovered a way to live nearly forever, but even they had not had all the answers.
How was a soul created?
Were all the original souls identical?
Were they just bundles of cosmic information that had been molded and shaped by the experiences of endless life cycles?
Or was each soul a unique entity?
Could a soul split into two? Or three?
Can a soul give birth to another?
What was the purpose of life?
Annani had lived for over five thousand years and still had not figured that out. Perhaps the answers were so far beyond the scope of what a biological brain could process that no living creature could comprehend the vastness of reality.
What if the soul hated being trapped in a physical body, severed from that limitless knowledge by physical constraints?
What if her Khiann had chosen to ascend and not return to her as a reincarnate?
Were souls even given a choice?
As the door opened and Alena walked in, Annani stopped her pacing and let out a shuddering breath. “How is David doing?”
“He is unconscious but stable.” Alena sat on the couch. “Steven has him hooked up to the monitors, and Bridget is flying overnight to supervise his transition.”
“That is good.” Annani joined her on the couch. “How is Sari holding up?”
“She’s freaking out.” Alena regarded her with somber eyes. “If it looks like he is not going to make it, you are going to give him your blessing, right?”
“Of course. He is Sari’s chosen. I will not let him perish.”
Alena’s shoulders relaxed. “Good. I was afraid you would refuse because of your supposed past history with him.”
Lifting her chin, Annani looked down her nose at Alena. “Reincarnation is real. Even if you think me fanciful, which is a nice way to say that your mother believes in nonsense, David’s dreams of me prove it.”
“He dreamed of a red-headed beauty. Perhaps he saw you somewhere when he was young, and the memory remained in his subconscious.” Alena smiled. “You leave quite an impression on people.”
“Is that your way to atone for your previous comment?”
“No, it’s another possible explanation. I know that you believe in reincarnation wholeheartedly, but that’s because of the prophecy you were given and the hope that Khiann would return to you as a reincarnate. I hate to disillusion you, but I’ve lived for a very long time, and I’ve never seen conclusive proof of it.”
“You have lived for a long time, my daughter, that is true, but your dealings with humans have always been limited. A community of immortals is not the place to look for proof of reincarnation.”
Alena sighed. “That is not true. It doesn’t happen often, but children are born to us, and we lose loved ones. For many years, I harbored a hope that Lilen would return to us, perhaps even as my son, but it didn’t happen.”
Swallowing the painful knot that had formed in her throat, Annani reached for her daughter’s hand. “I hoped for that too. I still do.”
“That’s the thing, Mother. Us wishing for reincarnation to be real doesn’t make it so. We just want to believe that our loved ones are not gone forever. Once the soul moves on, it’s not coming back.”
Annani nodded. “I am not going to argue beliefs with you. You are entitled to yours, and I am entitled to mine.” She lifted her hand to call Oshidu’s attention.
“Yes, Clan Mother.” He bowed low.
“I would like some tea.” She cast Alena a sidelong glance. “Not that tea, so do not even suggest it.”
Alena lifted her hands. “You made it very clear that you don’t want to drink it anymore.”
“Which tea would you prefer, Clan Mother? We have English Breakfast, Earl Grey, and green jasmine.”
“I will have the Earl Grey.”
“I’ll have the same.” Alena leaned back and closed her eyes for a moment.
“What troubles you, my daughter?”
“Everything and nothing.”
Annani chuckled. “Are you having an existential crisis, Alena?”
“We all do from time to time.” She slanted a look at Annani. “You are being very secretive about your supposed encounter with David’s other self. I sense that you feel guilty about what happened. Talking about it will help give you closure.”
Squaring her shoulders, Annani glared at her daughter. “Do not apply human psychology to me, Alena. I do not need closure, and I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else.”
Alena dipped her head. “My apologies, Mother. I do not expect explanations or excuses, and I am never going to judge you. But I am your eldest daughter, and over the many years that I stayed by your side, I have proven my complete and utter loyalty to you beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know you better than anyone. Whatever you have done, for whatever reason, right or wrong, will not change my opinion of you, and whatever you choose to tell me will remain between the two of us.”
22
David
It was early morning when Gudbrand trudged through the snow on his way back home, and just like all the other times he’d spent a night with Ania, he could barely keep his eyes open and put one leg in front of the other.