“It’s a protein that speeds up the chemical reactions in our bodies,” he answered effortlessly while adjusting his thick glasses.
“Great, you actually read something last year, Buick. Congratulations,” Decker replied before taking a long gulp of his coffee and slamming it down on the desk.
He continued like that for a while, calling on everyone in the class while completely ignoring my existence. It was pissing me off. When we agreed on nothing, I hadn’t imagined he meant in the classroom, too. Every time I raised my hand, his eyes avoided the expanse of my skin and the annoyance in my expression. It was like I didn’t even exist.
“What are the different types of living organisms?” Decker asked before cracking his neck. There were only five minutes left in the class period, and I was determined to answer at least one question.
I raised my hand and blurted out the answer without waiting on him to call on me. “Eukaryotes and prokaryotes. Or multicellular organisms and unicellular organisms. Eukaryotic cells have a nucleus, while prokaryotic cells do not.” It was a reasonably straightforward question that I’d known the answer to since middle school, but I was proud to get the chance to answer all the same.
Decker finally, finally took a look at me. It was a glower that felt both disinterested and furious. He didn’t acknowledge my words. Didn’t say whether I was right or wrong. “Class dismissed,” he growled. Everyone collected their belongings just as the bell rang, but I kept rooted to my seat.
Maximillian stopped at my desk. “Ready for lunch?” he asked before glancing over his shoulder. Decker’s bad mood didn’t go unnoticed in the slightest, and he seemed eager to get the hell out of Mr. Harris’s domain.
“Yep. I’ll be right there,” I replied with a bright smile, hoping the annoyance I felt didn’t show through my clenched teeth.
Maximillian squeezed my hand, which was clutching the wooden desk with a vice-like grip, before heading out, his leather backpack slung over his shoulder. “If you want to discuss something school-related, you’ll need to schedule an appointment during my office hours, Miss Stewart,” Decker said before flipping through a stack of papers with white knuckles and a sour expression.
“You need to chill,” I whispered before getting up and walking over to his desk. “I get you’re freaked out about what happened but—”
“I suggest you keep your mouth shut, Miss Stewart. I’m freaked out about nothing, I assure you.”
“So your piss-poor attitude is just your natural disposition? Hmm. Makes sense.” My words were like a slap, and his face flamed with anger the moment the insult left my lips.
“I’m sorry, did you just insult your teacher, Miss Stewart? That’s highly inappropriate behavior.”
“What’s inappropriate is you punishing me for something we both did. Stop ignoring me. Stop avoiding me. Can we please just go back to being awkward friends that love Lance? Last night was…” Decker winced as my voice trailed off.
“If you say nothing, I might lose my goddamn mind,” he grunted.
“I was going to say great. Let’s move forward cordially.”
Decker stood up and rounded his desk, heading over to me with a frown. “That’s the thing, Blakely,” he whispered, his hot breath feathering over my skin as he sunk closer to me. Oh so, so close. He was just an exhale away. It was wrong, but my skin tingled, my breath hitched. He was so close yet felt worlds away. “You feel this?” he asked.
I swallowed before answering. “Yes,” I replied.
“This is why I can’t just move forward. I’ve always been an all or nothing kind of guy. I can’t entertain a cordial existence with you because I’m not strong enough to hold back. I promised Lance space, so that’s what I’m going to give you. Please respect my restraint by not testing it further. Leave.”
Like a rubber band pulled so tight it was on the brink of snapping, Decker took a step backward and let out an exhale of relief once we were out of one another’s orbits. “Okay,” I offered. This was what I wanted, wasn’t it? I didn’t want a man with half-hearted intentions that got off on a woman’s attention. He set the boundary, and I decided then to respect it.
“Go to lunch, Miss Stewart,” he ordered.
“Yes, Mr. Harris.”
17
Decker
Lance was calling. I stared at my phone, willing his name to disappear. I’d never ignored his calls. I’d usually been overly eager to speak with him my entire life. He’d always been a lifeline—a brother. But now I was hiding from his calls like a pussy.
I answered it just before it went to voicemail. “Hello?” my voice lacked the usual warmth I generally reserved for my best friend.
“Hey man, you okay?” Lance asked. I could hear the whirling echo of his car as it sliced through the wind and traveled down the highway. It annoyed me how easily he picked up on my turmoil with one single greeting.
“Yeah. Just a rough day at work. Teaching isn’t easy, you know?” I played it off, hoping he bought my story. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that only one student was driving the ever-living crazy out of me.
Last night was a mistake of catastrophic proportions. I wasn’t self-absorbed enough to compare the pain I felt to global warming, but if I were ice caps, I would have melted. The oceans were rising. Waves upon waves of shame were filling me up.
“I hear ya,” Lance agreed, slipping quickly into the conversation. “This new hotel owner is going to be the death of me. He wants me to come to Louisiana weekly for meetings. I don’t know, man.”
I gritted my teeth. Weekly meetings weren’t an option. One night was all it took for my resolve to crumble. Maybe I should move into my barely-renovated home already. It didn’t have running water or electricity yet, but at least she wouldn’t be there.
“That’s ridiculous,” I agreed, maybe a bit too harshly.
“I don’t want to be gone all the time. Blakely and I are finally connecting. I don’t want to ruin that by being in Louisiana all the time. Plus, I’d miss you. Then there’s Sean.” Sean was Lance’s newest boyfriend. I hadn’t met him, which was how I knew it wasn’t serious, but I was surprised to hear Lance bring him up.
“Tell the hotel manager that you can do virtual meetings. If he wants you in Louisiana, he’ll have to pay a premium. And obviously, we need to talk about Sean. Is it getting serious?” I prodded. Lance always had a stream of partners. Men. Women. Old. Eccentric. Docile. Bland. Vibrant.
Lance just loved. Plain and simple. Most of the time, it got him in trouble. He didn’t have a type; he was attracted to souls. I often wondered if his need to connect and burn bright was because his flesh and blood gave him up as a baby, but I never asked.
“I think it’s time you meet him. I’m nervous. Do you think Blakely will like him? We haven’t necessarily had the coming out parade. Everyone in my life has just always known that I’m pansexual, and I’m kind of anxious to tell her.”
I let out a slow, steady breath. “I don’t know Sean, so I’ll have to reserve judgment. If he’s anything like that Blair bitch project you brought home last time, you might need to worry. Blakely isn’t going to care who you stick your dick into.”