Fuck. My sex pulsed at the thought, and I shoved back in my chair, standing and tossing some twenties onto the table with Missy’s cash. “I was just leaving, too.” I’m sure I way overpaid, but I didn’t even care at the moment. I just needed to get away from Sam.
He followed me out of the restaurant. “Why are you avoiding me?”
“I’m not,” I objected.
“You are. I tried to take you to lunch on Tuesday…”
“I already had lunch plans.” A total lie. I ended up scurrying out of my office and eating my salad in the ladies’ room to avoid running into Sam somewhere.
“And Wednesday?”
“I brought my lunch and ate before you asked.”
He huffed a sigh as I impatiently hit the button to cross the street where my car was parked.
“And I attempted to schedule meetings with you all week—”
“I was busy. Honestly, Sam, it’s my first week on the job, and because I let you bend me over a desk, you think you should be my priority? Are you that threatened by my power and position over your show that you think, because I let you fuck me, your show is somehow safer than the others?”
The light turned and I started walking, intensely aware that the footsteps beside me had stopped. A few steps into the crosswalk I turned to find Sam still standing where I had left him—face pale, brows drawn together, and lips tight.
Oh, shit. I went too far. “Sam—” I retraced my steps, getting out of the crosswalk and back onto the sidewalk beside him, but he countered my few steps, retreating back.
“That’s what you think?” he growled. “That I’m some needy bastard who just wants you to dote on him? That I had sex with you because I thought it would renew our show for another season?”
“No,” I said, and my voice cracked. I opened my mouth to speak. To clarify what I meant. To say something… anything… but words failed me, and I stood there entirely speechless. That wasn’t what I thought. At all. I just… I wanted to hurt him. And to a man like Sam… someone so incredibly powerful and dominant, it was probably the worst insult of all.
“I had sex with you because for days, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Ever since you poured soup all over my head, I couldn’t get you out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, it was your eyes I saw. Your voice I heard ringing in my ears. I had sex with you because I craved your body more than anything… and I think you craved mine too.”
“I did. Sam, I’m so sorry—”
“I’m not finished talking, Ms. Miller,” he snapped. “Because after the sex… I had hoped it would satiate my desire for you. But it didn’t. If anything, it was worse. After that, I didn’t just want your body… I wanted you. Because I liked you, Nina. Fuck, I—” he gave a snarl and thrusted his hands into his hair. “I think I fucking love you. But never, not once, was I using you to save my show. I give zero fucks if Silhouette Studios cancels our show. You know why? Because we’ll be just fine. We have our live shows and our tours, and I have no doubt another network will pick us up.”
Hot tears pricked the back of my eyes, and I covered my mouth, shaking my head. “I-I don’t know why I said that. I don’t think you would do that, Sam. I’m just, I don’t know… scared. I’m scared of how much I feel for you and that I screwed up so bad having sex with someone I work with on my first day.” A breath shattered in my chest, trembling, and I bit my lip to keep from crying. “The truth is, I was hired to be unbiased. And I can’t be now. Not with my feelings for you, not with our relationship. I’m going to be fired… in my first week on the job. Even if I don’t disclose our relationship to HR, it’s now a question of ethics. I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”
Sam’s face softened and he stepped forward, cradling my cheek. “I love you. I love how smart and powerful you are and how you can run circles around any man at our studio. And I will still love you if you cancel our show because of the liabilities. So, it’s not a question of ethics. You’ve given our show changes to implement—and you’ve made it perfectly clear. Make the changes, and we get renewed. Fight the changes, we get canceled. So, the real question is a lot more simple than one of ethics… the real question is… Nina Miller, do you love me?”
I licked my lips and looked up into his deep, chocolate-brown eyes, softer than velvet. Did I love Sam Murphy? How could I answer that? We’d only known each other one week. Only had sex once—after which I avoided him like the plague. Love like that was the sort of thing college cheerleaders boasted about, not high-powered attorneys with a penchant for busting balls in the office. “I… I don’t know, Sam.”
He nodded and brushed his thumb across my bottom lip. “When you figure it out… you let me know, okay?”
He leaned down and swept his lips lightly over mine before he turned and walked away.
Chapter 7
Sam
Three days after that night on the sidewalk outside of Guiseppe’s, my brothers and I were back to filming our next episode with Nina’s various rules taped to the wall of our tent.
Dom read the list out loud. “No lewd conduct? Has she seen the show?”
I sat in my chair, sweet Harley laying at my feet, and sighed. I didn’t need to read the list, I had memorized the damn thing. “Do you want to be renewed for another season?” I asked.
Josh rolled his eyes. “That’s a dumb fucking question, of course we do.”
“Then we follow the new rules. It’s that simple.”
“And what if we can’t be funny on a leash like this?” Cal asked.
I shrugged. “Then I don’t think we’re the comedians we thought we were. Come on. It’ll be a challenge.”
Josh sighed and scrubbed his palm over his face. “Okay, so how do we make the show even more family-friendly than it was?”
That was a good question. A lot of our bits were pre-written and concocted. But a lot of what we did was improv… knowing us, the editors already had their work cut out for them, trimming out our more indecent jokes. But what Nina was asking was that we not make those jokes in the first place, thereby cutting out the potential for a lawsuit.
Beside me, Harley stood up, placing her chin in my lap. I smiled down at my rescue dog. She was getting up there in age, and the thought of losing her broke my damn heart. Nope, not going to think about that yet. We had years left.
“Well, I guess we could—” Harley shifted and whined again… she probably needed a walk.
“Could you take your dog out before she shits in the tent?” Cal said. For some reason, of the four of us, Cal never got the animal gene. My other brothers and I all had rescue animals and loved them like family members. But Cal was weird about dogs and cats.
I narrowed my eyes at my brother as an idea percolated. “Our dogs and Dom’s cat,” I said.
Josh shrugged. “What about them?”
“We use them more in our challenges.” Hope bloomed in my chest. It was a good idea. “People love animals… they especially love seeing them on TV. And our fans really love when we fuck with Cal and make him uncomfortable with them.”