I held my tongue but kept my eyes on him. Cheese caved. “Rawlins scares the shit out of most grown men. And the ones who aren’t scared of him are just too stupid to know they should be. It’s good you’re here and we can look out for you.”
A pang of emotion hit my throat. “Thanks.”
I went back inside and settled onto the couch, the cell phone Colt had given me by my side. I kept glancing at it, willing it to buzz. Turning on the TV, I listened to some asinine show playing in the background as I picked up the cell. Debating all of five seconds, I scrolled through the three numbers in the phone and shot off a text to Colt.
Hey.
As soon as I sent it, I wanted to take it back.
“Darlin’,” a low voice whispered. “Mia, wake up.”
“No,” I murmured, trying to sink deeper into the couch cushions.
There was a sigh and then I felt arms moving underneath me. I was being lifted and carried, my face pressed against a warm chest and soft cotton. I snuggled into the embrace.
“Ah, fuck.”
“Stop saying that,” I said, refusing to open my eyes. I pretended it was a dream; in my dream, I could be vulnerable.
When I was awake I’d have to ignore this thing between us.
He set me down on the bed in the guest room and settled the comforter over me. I heard the faint sound of rain against the window.
“Stay,” I whispered when I felt Colt begin to move away.
“Mia,” he said, his voice dark, pleading.
“Please,” I begged. I wiggled over to give him room. I heard the unbuckling of a belt and then the sound of jeans hitting the floor, and something heavy being set down on the nightstand. Colt climbed into bed next to me and pulled me into the wall of his chest. His body curled around mine as his lips brushed my ear.
I let out a sigh. “I’m not catching feelings.”
There was a soft rumble against my back as Colt’s hand wormed its way under my shirt and rested on my stomach. “Go to sleep, sweetheart.”
The next morning I woke up alone and confused; there was no evidence of Colt having slept in bed next to me. I bit my lip when I thought of him pressed against me from behind. I’d never felt safer.
After I got dressed in a pair of cut off shorts and a T-shirt, I headed downstairs, both dreading and hoping to see Colt. He was in the kitchen, dressed for the day and drinking a cup of coffee.
His eyes roved over me, lingering on my legs. “Mornin’,” he drawled.
“Morning,” I replied, heading to the coffeemaker and pouring myself a cup.
“You’re a very…active sleeper.”
His sensuous tone had my hand shaking, and I spilled the coffee I was pouring. I set the coffee pot back in its place and then grabbed the dishtowel hanging off the fridge to mop up the mess.
I looked at him over my shoulder. “What does that mean?”
Colt’s smile was slow. Hot. A rush of embarrassed desire flamed my cheeks, but I held his gaze. He didn’t lose his smile. I wanted to wipe it off his face. I dropped the dishrag and walked over to him. Just when I thought I was in control, Colt reached out to grasp my hips, hauling me toward him. He settled me onto his lap and then his hand was holding the back of my neck. His brown eyes looked liquid.
“Joni gave me some interesting insight about you,” I said.
“Oh yeah?”
I nodded. “She said something about you wanting to keep me.”
“What if I do?”
“What changed?”
“You get one life. One life to be free, to choose how you live. You want to leave town? I’ll make sure you can do that—and not have Dev on your ass. No use leaving town if you have to keep looking over your shoulder and feel like you’re on the run. But I’ve also been doing some thinking,” he admitted. “Ever since I walked into Dive Bar and kissed you. It was like I’d been surviving this whole time, but not really living.” He stared at me with deep brown eyes. “You get what I mean, yeah?”
I nodded. I knew what it was like to float from one moment to the next. Not really sad, but not happy either. Just…there.
“Each day we’re one step closer to the end. Don’t want to die and wish I’d really lived.”
I was drugged by his words. A spectator weighing in might think we didn’t know each other at all, that because of circumstances, I’d turned to him in an hour of need. But maybe Colt needed me too. Maybe we needed each other and it didn’t matter what it looked like on the outside.
We were close enough that I could smell the coffee and mint toothpaste on his breath. My tongue darted out to touch my lips and I swore his eyes darkened.
I went in for the kill. Our mouths met in ferocious hunger and our tongues fought each other for dominance. Colt’s hand on the back of my neck tightened and I leaned into him, ready for more, ready for it on the kitchen table.
A phone rang. Colt’s lips tore from mine, his face wreathed in annoyance at our thwarted lust.
“Fuck, why does this always happen?” He shifted me on his lap so he could get to the cell in his pocket and answered it. “Yeah?”
When I made a move to get up, he stopped me.
“Yeah, okay. Be right there.” He hung up and set his phone on the kitchen table. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.”
We stared at each other and then our lips were meshing. “I really have to go,” Colt growled against my mouth even as he kissed me again.
“I heard you,” I answered, tugging at his shirt, wanting to get to the skin beneath.
He pulled back and grasped my hands to still their wandering. “Not like this.”
“Not like what?” I demanded. “Every time I decide I want to have sex with you, we get interrupted.”
He didn’t smile from my jest. “If all I wanted was sex, it would’ve happened by now.”
“Well, that’s a bit arrogant, don’t you think?”
Colt’s gaze dropped to my traitorous nipples, but said nothing.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
“I want you, but not like this. Not when you’re still confused.”
“Confused about what exactly?”
“Confused about what it means when I take you to my bed. It’s gonna mean something, babe. And I’m not sure you’re ready for all that.”
“What if I’m never ready?” I ventured to ask. Colt’s intensity scared me, but I valued his honesty.
“Then you were never meant to be my woman.”
With that pronouncement, Colt stalked from the kitchen, leaving me with a lukewarm cup of coffee.
Chapter 9
The next three days ironed out into a routine. I spent the daytime bored in Colt’s home while Cheese hung out on the porch, acting as a guard. At night, I slept alone, feeling restless and achy. Colt hadn’t made another move to sleep next to me and he hadn’t kissed me again. The man was a sensual battering ram and he’d gotten through my fortress walls. But that was exactly why he kept his distance.
Colt wanted something real with me, something lasting. And he was giving me the opportunity to decide if I wanted to be in it for the long haul. I didn’t know if I would’ve chosen to be with Colt if my circumstances had been different. Even though I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him after we’d kissed at Dive Bar, I’d done nothing to seek him out of my own volition. I’d turned to him only because he’d proven to me that he was a protector of women.