In a matter of hours, I had forgotten all about Pilar and the shooting. His ties to his uncle’s organization didn’t faze me either. I even pushed all the games he played with me to the back of my head. None of it mattered because as soon as we stepped into this hotel room tonight, he wasn’t Rocco Spinelli the gangster or my brother’s best friend, he was my Rocco. The guy who stole my heart when I was just twelve years old and never gave it back.
And now, for the first time ever, I’m terrified of him because I know he is going to break my heart and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
I’m defenseless.
“We got about an hour before I have to take you home. Do you want me to draw you a bath?” he asks, pulling my attention back to him.
A bath sounds like Heaven, but I don’t want to spend sixty minutes in a tub soaking my muscles when I can be here in his arms.
“I’ll be okay,” I say softly as he thumbs the bracelet on my wrist.
So much for giving that back.
A frown ticks the corners of my lips and I draw in a deep breath. Earlier when I laid in my bed, waiting for him to call, I swore I wasn’t going to keep the bracelet. Then as soon as I climbed into the car he checked to see if I was wearing it and the promise flew out the window.
Other women would probably fawn over such an extravagant present, especially knowing Rocco is connected. I don’t know what it is about women, but they’re dazzled by the mob. They think dating a mobster is exciting. Dangerous and alluring. They have this preconceived notion that it’s the shit romance novels are made of.
I get it.
I mean before I ever heard the name Pastore, I had watched Goodfellas—it was my brother’s favorite movie and always on the television. And I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t wish I was Karen Hill a time or two. I pictured being wined and dined and spoiled with expensive gifts, like jewelry and the latest designer handbags. But that was before I realized every gift comes with a price tag that’s not measured in dollars and cents, but rather in blood and morals.
So, no, I’m not like those women, I’m worse because I don’t want the designer gifts or the flashy dates, I just want the man. I want to be the woman who opens his eyes and makes him realize he’s more than his sins. Fuck Karen Hill, I want to be Rocco’s Grace.
Damn Victor for getting inside my head.
Damn him straight to Hell.
I tear my eyes away from my wrist and look at his handsome face. For the first time since I showed up in Miami, he looks relaxed, like he isn’t carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Like the guy I always wanted.
I’m not sure if that’s because he’s sated or if it has something to do with me accepting his present. I mean he looked murderous when he thought I wasn’t wearing it and relief instantly filled his face when I showed him it was on my other wrist. Plus, he did mention that it wasn’t robbed, so there really is no reason not to keep it, right? It’s not like he held some poor jeweler at gunpoint.
Christ, I’m hopeless.
Seeming to read the hesitation in my eyes, he lifts his hand and brushes my cheek with the back of his hand.
“It was my mother’s bracelet, Violet,” he reveals.
Sure I heard him wrong, I stare at him in shock. He remains completely silent, and I force a swallow, trying to decide how to approach such a sensitive subject. Why would he give something so valuable to me? It’s not like he doesn’t have a sister and that’s the route I take.
“Rocco, I can’t accept this. Your sister—”
He cuts me off.
“My sister got enough. This bracelet is all I kept of my mother’s belongings and it would mean a lot to me if you accepted it.” He pauses. Rolling onto his side, he levels me with a look. “You knew my mother, Violet, and you know how much she meant to me—how much she still means to me after all these years. If anyone is going to take good care of the one thing I have left of her, it’s you.” He takes my hand and casts his eyes toward the bracelet. “I like reaching for your hand and seeing a piece of her on your wrist.”
I don’t know what it is about those words, but they make my heart feel so full. He may have lost his way, but every now and then a glimpse of the old Rocco shines through and I fall even harder than I imagined possible.
“I’d be honored to wear your mom’s bracelet,” I whisper. “And I promise to cherish it forever.”
He smiles.
“I know.”
Then he tugs my wrist and I fall against him. He wraps one arm around me, pressing me into his hard body and lowers his mouth to mine. It’s a kiss that seals my promise to him. A simple vow from me to him, that I will keep him mom’s memory alive.
He breaks our kiss and touches his forehead to mine.
“We better get out of this bed before your mother catches you climbing the fire escape and I miss my flight.”
As soon as the words leave his lips, I feel my stomach roll with dread, and it has nothing to do with my mother catching me—although, facing the wrath of her temper is probably not something I should sneeze at. I’m more concerned about where we go from here. I don’t think I can handle him pushing me aside again…not this time.
This wasn’t him and I flirting, toeing some invisible line. This was about both of us accepting the truth. Neither of us are perfect, and I’m sure there are many reasons why two people like us shouldn’t be together, but there’s no going back now.
Not for me.
I pull away from him, searching his eyes for the slightest trace of assurance, something that tells me he’s not about to stomp on my heart and make a fool out of me, but his eyes are expressionless.
“What?” he questions.
I’m not going to build some sort of bravado and hide my feelings. There is too much at stake.
“What happens when we get out of this bed? Do you drop me off and tell me this was a mistake again, because while I may have just promised to keep your mother’s bracelet safe, I didn’t say shit about keeping the Spinelli family jewels out of harm’s way.”
Biting the inside of his cheek, he holds back a smirk.
Hand to God, that is not the reaction I wanted.
“That’s my girl,” he teases before pausing. He drags his fingers through his hair and his face grows serious as he releases a sigh. “I’m not going to lie to you, my life is crazy right now and this week it’s going to get even crazier.”
Here we go…
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I need you to trust me. I know it’s a lot to ask of you, especially after this weekend, but it’s the only way this will work. You’re going to see things on the news, you’re gonna read shit in the papers, some of it will be true and some of it won’t, but it doesn’t matter because none of it changes what’s happening between us.”
Talk about vague and confusing.
“And what’s that?”
“Without getting into specifics, tonight my whole fucking world changed and all I could do was think about you.” He pulls his fingers from his hair and fixes me with a look. “All I wanted was you. I know that makes me a selfish prick, but I also know that behind every great man is a woman who makes him great. It’s a job that not just any old woman can hold either. She has to know him better than he knows himself. She has to know his past and be able to accept his future. There’s only one woman who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly and that’s you. If tonight was a mistake, it’s going to have to be you who declares it one, because I’m all in, Bug.”