Damn it.
No she didn't. No way, no how. She did not need a man, except to fool all her friends into thinking she had a serious relationship so they wouldn't bug her at all the upcoming holidays.
“Yes. Yes, I could.” The only thing keeping Helena's pants from erupting into liar, liar fire was the waterfall between her legs just thinking about Aleksei.
Heli didn't have to say her ‘whatever’ out loud. The smirk said it for her, loud and clear. She didn't believe Helena's answer even a smidgen. “You keep telling yourself that, my friend. I don't know if you two are fated mates or not, that's not my special ability. If you really want to know, go ask Selena. I do know Aleksei is a little broken and grumpy, but he's a Troika and that makes him a great guy. You could do worse.”
Helena had done worse. Too many times. She'd never had the best taste in men. It was simply too hard for her to believe there was a good guy out there for her.
Heli had found one, though. “Did you really feel all that for Kosta when you met him? Not just having the hots for him, but that heart and soul stuff.”
Helena hadn't ever felt those mushy gooshy feelings for anyone. She wasn't even sure she knew what they were. More importantly, she'd decided she didn't want love anyway. It was a nuisance. It only let to heartache.
Instead of worrying about falling for Aleksei, she should just hop on that hot body and enjoy the ride, heck, the whole damn rodeo. He was the one who suggested a no strings attached fake relationship. If they were agreed on that, why not throw sex into the equation? Couldn't hurt. In fact, it would feel good. Really good.
Besides, if he was really her fated mate, he wouldn't have asked for this secret sham situation. Fine. Good. That was simply proof that they weren't destined to be together forever.
Helena tried to breathe a sigh of relief. That backfired on her and gave her indigestion instead. Ow. No more pie.
“I feel all that and so much more for Kosta. It took me a while to admit it though.”
“Yeah, well you are bull-headed. Unlike me.” Ha. That was a lie straight from the pits of hell. “I imagine Kosta had to wine you and dine you to win you over, didn't he?”
“Nope. You'll see. Or maybe you won't. I don't know. But my very friendly advice is that you keep your heart open and see where it leads you.”
Heart schmart. Helena was a wise woman and had learned not to rely on her heart for anything. She didn't need it to tell her Aleksei was hot and she wanted more from him. Her head was the part that reminded her more didn't have to mean marriage and commitment. This pretend relationship could be just what she needed.
His One Weakness
Aleksei slammed his front door shut, splintering the wood around the frame. His little cabin felt too small, like the walls were closing in on him. He turned right back around and shoved the door open again.
The cool night air did nothing to calm his frazzled anger. He was the ultimate dumbass. His wolf thought so too. He'd left his mate wet and wanting all the way on the other side of town.
Dumb.
Ass.
The second he realized Helena was the one, he should have walked right the hell out of that club and never looked back. Instead, he'd practically dry-humped her against the wall and kissed her.
Kisses that would be burned on his brain for all eternity. So sweet, yet so hot and sexy all at the same time.
What he needed was a good long hard run to work off this frustration and tension. He could beat himself up for miles and miles, hopefully get himself so exhausted he could fall into a deep sleep and not dream of her and all those luscious, mind-blowing, fill-his-hands-up curves.
He threw the shredded clothes he’d grabbed after shifting and tossed them onto the old rocker on the front porch. The scent of her, like pumpkin spice lattes with a shot of dark Kentucky bourbon, wafted through the air from his clothes. They smelled of her.
He wanted badly, so very badly, to go pick his shirt back up, hold it up to his nose, and breathe her in. His wolf was already itching to shift and run back toward his mate. Not gonna happen. Aleksei controlled his shift a few minutes longer and took off, jogging into the woods in the opposite direction of Helena's house.
A few hundred yards in, he let the shift take over. Aleksei reveled in the pain of his bones and skin breaking to shift. The discomfort never even bothered him before. He'd shifted thousands of times in his years, but tonight he wanted the aches to distract both him and his wolf from that driving need to go to her.
There were plenty of places he could run to tonight to torture himself. The area far to the north in what used to be the Crescent pack's territory where he and Piotr had been captured, for one. Or worse, the pit where his alpha had been slaughtered and his own life spared.
Those memories would easily overpower his thoughts of Helena. She was all that was good and right in the world. Everything Aleksei didn't deserve.
For the way he'd let his pack down, he deserved a lonely existence. He should never be allowed to love anyone. He'd only disappoint them if he did. The rest of his life should be a punishment for his crimes. If Max or Niko wouldn't make him pay for letting the Crescent bastards murder their father right in front of his eyes, he was honor bound to show them exactly how contrite and miserable a wolf he truly was.
Every day they allowed him to live, he must sacrifice his own happiness.
But what about Helena?
Aleksei's wolf didn't like this dark mental path they were on. The bond between fated mates linked them irrevocably, forever. If he never marked and claimed her, she might be able to find some dumb human to spend her life with. She could create the life she deserved with a husband or lover.
The wolf jerked their run to a sudden stop and howled mournfully at the moonless sky.
If Helena even so much as looked at another man, Aleksei might have to kill any dudes who caught her eye. Which was not a nice thing to do. Helena would be pretty damn mad if he went around murdering all her beaux.
He couldn't live seeing her with anyone else, though. Which meant only one thing. He was going to have to leave Rogue and never come back. Might as well start now. He'd head north. There were plenty of wide-open spaces to run and keep far, far from humanity in the wilds of Canada.
Good. That was the plan then.
Except he couldn't get his wolf to move. The beast inside was having nothing to do with this idea. He sat down on his haunches and hung out his tongue, panting and whining. Aleksei wasn't even sure if he shifted back into human form if he would be able to break free from his inner wolf's demand.
That was a new one. He'd never pissed his wolf off so bad that it took over. Aleksei stretched and turned and shook, but the wolf would not move his ass. Great. So, what, he was just going to sit in the Reserve forever? Because he was not going back to Rogue to destroy Helena's life.
That's when he smelled it.
At first the breeze had just the hint of an earthy scent that didn't belong. Like a pine tree, but one that wasn't from around here, or a bug not native to New York. Underneath that dissonant smell was much more than simply flora or fauna out of place. There was something cold about it, like ice or permafrost.
There was also the unmistakable scent of a wolf shifter male. A lone wolf.
Aleksei's own wolf chastised him for being such a nincompoop. He wasn't just pouting, the beast had known something was wrong, the over-thinking, morose, broody human part of him had been too distracted to notice.