“Viktor?” Angela asked, coming from the room. She’d taken a shower, and I’d come to the living room to build a fire. But the logs lay in the basket, untended, and I stood at the window that overlooked the valley, my thoughts snapped back to the present by her voice.
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
I nodded, taking in the sight of her. She’d bought two outfits in town that she alternated, and she looked fucking good in both of them. Hell, she looked good in just my robe. She would look good wearing nothing but a black bag.
She was so fucking delicious, I wanted to eat her up. But her eyes were concerned.
“Everything is fine. I was just looking at the weather.”
She came to stand next to me, and I caught the smell of my shampoo in her hair. Instant hard on. Fuck me, I wanted her so badly. I couldn’t help myself. Having her here, so close to me, having her a part of my life like this, was a hell of a turn on.
“It looks good,” she said.
I nodded without speaking.
“I should be able to leave soon.”
“I’d prefer you didn’t,” I said quietly.
Angela frowned at me. “We’re not back on this, are we? I’ll go to Snowmass and get a cab or a bus or something back to Grizzly Falls. It’s no big deal, Viktor.”
That’s where she was wrong.
“I told you, I don’t want you to leave until it’s safe,” I said.
“And what’s so unsafe? The weather is clearing up, the roads will be repaired soon. I can go home. I can go live the rest of my life.”
If she was alive to do it, yeah absolutely. I didn’t know if I could keep her safe if she headed out there. I had let that other fucker go instead of killing him. I regretted that now.
I hadn’t wanted to be the person I’d been before. Especially not when Angela was around. But when it came to who I was, and if she was alive, it was a no brainer. I should have snapped the asshole’s neck.
“You know,” Angela said, her eyes narrowed. “I’m starting to think you’re trying to keep me here.”
“That’s not what this is about.” I was getting pissed off. I didn’t want her to know the truth, but I couldn’t get her to stay without a reason. She was independent, she was feisty, she wanted a good reason why she had to relent her control. And I didn’t want to give it to her.
“Then what is it about?” she asked. When I didn’t answer, she snapped. “I’m not your damned prisoner, you know. I mean, it was great of you to look after me when I was hurt. I will be forever grateful. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get to leave because you were selfless enough to risk yourself to save me.”
I clenched my jaw and spoke through gritted teeth. “I just want you safe.”
“That’s all you keep saying! But safe from what? From the weather? You can’t keep me in a cage, you know. There is such a thing as holding on too tightly.” She looked like she wanted to say more, but she snapped her mouth shut. I had a feeling it was about the asshole who had been her father, the fucked up idiot who had thought it was acceptable to raise a hand to a woman.
“If you want me to stay, just say so,” she said softly.
That pulled me up short, taking the fire right out of me. “What?”
“I don’t know what’s going on here because we never talk about it. But if you’re upset about me leaving because you’d rather I stay, then you can just tell me you have feelings for me.”
I blinked at her, stunned. Did I have feelings for her? Absolutely. It was the reason I was so fucking worried about her in the first place. She had become my weakness, which meant that if something happened to her, it would hit me in the gut so hard, I wouldn’t be able to bounce back.
I didn’t need that, and she didn’t need it either. Hell, men like me shouldn’t even look at women like her, let alone drag her into the fray with me. My entire reason for hiding out up here had been not to get anyone else involved in this damn mess I’d created for myself.
“So?” she asked, and her voice was softer now.
“So what?” I asked, even though I knew what she was asking of me.
“What is it, then? Why won’t you let me go?”
She looked nervous. What if I lied and told her I didn’t care about her? And God, I wanted nothing more than to tell her that I had fallen for her, that I wanted her with me, by my side, for as long as I could have her. Far longer than the handful of days left before she had to get the hell out of Dodge and head off to the big city.
“I don’t deny that I feel something for you,” I said carefully.
“Oh, how wonderful,” Angela said sarcastically and turned away from the window, her back to me. “And I was worried you wouldn’t be able to really express yourself.”
“Malen kiy,” I murmured.
“No, Viktor,” she said. “If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to go pack.”
She headed to the room. I walked after her, putting a hand on her shoulder to stop her. She spun around, eyes spitting fire at me. “Don’t.”
“I don’t want you to go.” I didn’t mean for it to sound as raw as it did, but I couldn’t help myself.
Her face changed when she looked at me, a mixture of affection and confusion. I was doing this to her, I knew that. I was keeping her on a line. She didn’t know what was going on and I wasn’t being totally truthful.
I just didn’t want her to know who I was. I didn’t want her to know that I had been a monster. I wanted her to love me, to always see me the way she saw me now. The moment she knew about everything that had happened before, the way she looked at me would change.
And as strong as I was, as much as I’d dealt with in my life, I wouldn’t be able to survive that.
Viktor
I couldn’t fucking sleep knowing that Maksim and his people were near. I shouldn’t have let the fucker live. He sure as shit didn’t deserve it, and I’d just made my own life more complicated.
And for what? Proving to Angela that I wasn’t a monster? Bullshit. I was too fucking worried about what she would do when she found out what I was. The moment she realized I was a killer, she would run so fast, she’d be a speck on the fucking horizon.
It was only through some kind of fluke, fate’s practical joke, that she had ended up with me in the first place. So why the fuck was I worried about not killing someone for her sake? I couldn’t change who I was. I couldn’t change what I’d done. And she deserved better than me.
I should have slit the asshole’s throat and been done with it. I would have been able to sleep better.
As soon as Angela closed her eyes after we’d fucked again – getting out of the shower had entailed all kinds of activities that had nothing to do with getting dressed – I’d popped right back up again and scoped the area around the cabin. Nighttime was dark as sin on the mountain. Darkness hid shadows, and Maksim’s men weren’t scared of a little darkness. Hell, we were the ones who brought the darkness.
No, if they were going to hunt me down, the dead of night would be a good time to do it. It was the time I would choose.