I had no idea. I finished my piss and washed my hands, ready to get back to the tub, when my gaze darted to the wallet again.
Don’t do it, Matt. None of your business.
I did it anyway. I picked up the wallet and opened it. A Pennsylvania driver’s license was tucked into the plastic-covered window.
Chloe L. Mansfield, with an address in Pittsburgh.
My eyebrows shot up.
Chloe L. Mansfield? She’d said her middle name was Riley.
I dug further. An American Express platinum card in the same name. And—
“What the fuck?”
Hundred-dollar bills. Fifteen of them, to be exact. Who the hell carried around fifteen hundred dollars in cash?
Not a schoolteacher.
I eased my rage. I already knew she wasn’t who she claimed to be. No reason to be angry, and I was snooping anyway. This was on me, not on her.
Well, on her too. She shouldn’t have lied to me, though I’d already figured it out. Knowing for sure that I was right, though… That was a bummer.
I sighed and placed the wallet back on the toilet tank. I’d continue as planned. I’d make love to her tonight, show her some beauty in whatever fucked-up world she came from, and then tomorrow…
Tomorrow I’d get her to tell me the truth.
21
Riley
Matt returned with another seltzer for himself. I took the last drink of my bottle of water and set the empty bottle back in the drink holder while Matt got back in the tub.
Darkness had fallen, giving me the cloak I needed for my scars. Relief swept through me, though only a little. Still I was flooded with apprehension. With fear.
How long had we been sitting in here? He wasn’t rushing me, and I appreciated that. Truly.
But I was leaving tomorrow.
If I was going to do this—and I really wanted to do this, despite my apprehension—I had to get out of my own head and let myself go.
Sex could be a beautiful thing. Indeed, it was supposed to be a beautiful thing.
That I’d had a shitty introduction to the act was not going to color my enjoyment of this magnificent man.
I wouldn’t let it. I couldn’t let it.
I was leaving tomorrow, so tonight was my only chance.
He’d go slow. I knew it already. He’d stopped inside to give me the space I needed. I could have asked him to leave, and if I had, he would have. I knew that in my heart.
I had nothing to fear from Matteo Rossi.
Once he sat down in the water, I snuggled up to him, letting our bodies touch. He eased his arm around my shoulders, pulled me close, and kissed the side of my head.
Was he going to kiss me?
He didn’t make any move.
It was up to me. He was letting me go at my own pace.
The problem? I didn’t know what my own pace was. I’d never had sex when I wanted to have sex.
I was truly a virgin in some respects.
Every way except physically.
We’d kissed many times. Seen each other naked—well, almost, in my case. What next? What do I do?
“Matt?”
“Hmm?”
“I… I don’t know what to do.”
His eyes popped open. “What do you mean?”
“This. Sex.”
“You’re not a…virgin, are you?”
“No. I’m just not all that experienced, like I said.”
“Just do what you feel, baby. Do whatever makes you feel good.”
“I need you to… To kind of take the lead. Is that okay?”
He smiled. “I wanted to go slowly. For you.”
“I know that. You’re very sweet, but if you wait for me, I’m not sure anything will happen.”
Right on target there. I had no idea how to seduce a man. No clue.
“Okay, Riley. But you tell me if you want to stop, like you did inside.”
“I will. But I’m not going to want to stop.”
“You did before.”
“I know. Except that I didn’t. Not really. I’m just a little scared.”
“Why?”
Why? What a loaded question. I couldn’t even begin to tell him why. He’d go screaming for the woods, and I wouldn’t blame him.
“Just my inexperience. That’s all.”
“All right.” He cupped my cheek and turned me toward him. “Kiss me.”
I leaned into him and met his lips with my own. I parted, and he gently twirled his tongue around mine.
Very slow and sweet compared to our previous kisses, and soon I was throbbing, wanting more.
Unwanted thoughts, unwanted images, tried to force their way in.
No!
I won’t let him destroy this beautiful moment. I won’t!
I deepened the kiss, giving over to Matt. Matt was everything. All of my thoughts, all of my feelings… All Matt.
Matt, and nothing else.
Nothing else except this beautiful moment between us.
We kissed.
And we kissed.
And when he trailed one hand down to cup my breast, instead of dreading the touch, I embraced it.
Enjoyed it.
I wanted Matt to touch me.
And that made all the difference.
I broke the kiss, panting. “Let’s go in,” I said.
“You sure?” He cupped my cheek, skimming his thumb across my lower lip.
Am I?
“Yeah, I’m sure.”
Please, let’s go now before I chicken out.
“Good enough.” He helped me out of the water, wrapped me in a towel, and led me inside.
We’d both pulled our hair into messy buns for the tub, and a few strands had come loose, sticking to our necks and shoulders.
Matt pulled the tie out of my hair so it flowed over my shoulders and down my back. “You’re so beautiful,” he said.
“Bed,” I said. “Please.”
“This isn’t a race, Riley.”
No, not a race. But I was so afraid I’d freak out if we didn’t just get to it.
“I know that. I just want you.”
“I want you too.”
“Let me get a condom out of my pocket.”
“Don’t need it. I’m on birth control.”
Shit. Another reminder of my past. My father made sure I was on birth control as soon as I blossomed. He didn’t want any evidence of his transgressions.
“Still, we just met.”
“I’m not very experienced. I told you. So unless you have something you’re hiding—”
“Me? I’m an open book. I don’t hide things.”
I widened my eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“I don’t know, Riley. What could I possibly mean?”
I cocked my head. Was he…angry with me? “Matt, please. Don’t ruin this.”
“I have no intention of ruining anything.”
“Take me to bed. Please.”
“Fuck.” He pulled the tie out of his own hair, and his locks cascaded over his shoulders like a lion’s mane.
Matt was a lion, and I was his prey.
Oddly, I was okay with that.
“I don’t know what you’re hiding, Riley,” he said, “but I know it’s something.”
“I’m not—”
He quieted me with two fingers on my lips.