“I’m not afraid.”
“Let me come in.”
“I… I can’t.”
“Please.” I leaned in and brushed my lips lightly against hers. God, already I was hard as marble.
“Matt, you seem like a really nice man, but I’m just not—”
I couldn’t help myself.
I slammed my lips down on hers.
7
Riley
He was kissing me. This gorgeous man was kissing me, running his tongue along the seam of my lips, coaxing them open.
I’d kissed before. This was nothing new.
What was new was that I actually wanted to kiss this man.
And that scared the shit out of me.
What would a kiss be like with someone I actually wanted to kiss? I could find out easily. I could simply part my lips and let him in.
He was so big, so strong, and though my feelings frightened me, I wasn’t frightened of him.
I should have been. He could overpower me at any moment. He could take what another had taken so many times without my permission.
Yet I knew, somewhere deep inside myself, that he wouldn’t do that. Matteo Rossi would not take anything I didn’t give to him willingly.
What would it hurt to let him kiss me?
I relaxed my lips and parted them.
His groan vibrated through me when his tongue swept over mine. My arms drifted upward, seemingly of their own accord, and found a resting place on his hard, broad shoulders. He was warm, so warm. I grasped his muscles. Then I moved one hand higher, let my fingers scrape across the blond stubble on his cheek. All the time he was kissing me, our lips sliding together, our tongues probing each other. And what a kiss it was. I wasn’t recoiling in repulsion. No, anything but.
I wanted this kiss. I wanted this man.
In a way I’d never wanted anything in my life.
No!
Quickly I pushed at his shoulders, breaking the kiss with a pop of suction.
His blue eyes widened, and a look of sadness streaked across his handsome face. His full lips were pink and puffy from the kiss.
From our kiss.
My fingers slid to my mouth. I could still feel his phantom lips on mine. His strong hands on my cheek, caressing me.
“Look, Riley…”
“You don’t have to apologize,” I said.
“I wasn’t going to.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t sure why I thought he was going there. No man had ever apologized for kissing me. Why would Matteo Rossi?
“I don’t think it’s any secret that I’m very attracted to you,” he said. “Are you attracted to me?”
Yes. No. Yes. No.
Yes, I’m attracted to you. But no, I don’t want to be.
I didn’t say any of this. Instead, I stood there like an idiot.
“What are you hiding, Riley?”
My mouth dropped open. Where had that come from? “I’m not hiding anything.”
“Bullshit.”
“Who do you think you are?”
“I think I’m a guy who would like to get to know you better. I think I’m a guy who is attracted to you. I’m talking majorly attracted, Riley. Surely you know what a beautiful woman you are.”
Hell, yeah, I knew. I’d been beautiful my whole life. Most people probably thought I was lucky. Personally? I considered it a curse.
Riley Wolfe, supermodel. Riley Wolfe brings back the days of Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell. Yeah, that had been a headline. A headline I’d been forced to live up to.
Apparently I was good at modeling. Modeling took more than just a pretty face and a hot body. Yeah, I worked hard, but I was also a natural, according to all the experts.
I didn’t say any of this to Matt. To Matt, I was Riley Mansfield, business ed teacher. And he was Matt Rossi, small-town guy who owned a few cabins and…was the most beautiful man—both inside and out—I’d ever met in my life.
“Sure,” I said. “I’ve been called beautiful a few times.”
“A few times?” He shook his head.
“Yeah? Well, you’re the hottest thing walking around here as far as I’ve seen.”
He smiled. “So you are attracted to me.”
“I’m breathing, aren’t I?”
That got a laugh out of him. “I suppose I could say the same thing. I’d bet no man on earth could resist you.”
If he only knew how right he was…
There was no good answer to that, so I stayed silent.
“May I come in?”
“That’s not a good idea.” Even though I wanted it more than anything in the world.
“Why not?”
“I’m just not ready.”
“Your kiss said differently.”
He wasn’t wrong. I had definitely kissed him back, and I’d enjoyed every second of it. But I had a harsh history as far as sex was concerned, and he deserved better. He deserved a whole woman. I was so far from that. I wasn’t sure I could ever be wholly healed. But my father was dead now, and I was going to try. No more drugs. No more burns. Even if it killed me.
“I loved the kiss,” I said truthfully.
“I’d love to give you another, then.”
“Matt…”
“I have no idea what you’re running from, but whoever hurt you? I’d like to fucking pummel him into the ground.”
I shook my head and let out a light chuckle. “He’s dead.”
“Good. Saves me the trouble.”
“You’re a really nice guy, Matt. And I’m a fucking mess.”
“You look pretty good from where I’m standing.”
“If you could see inside my head, you’d rethink that statement.”
“Hell, honey, we all have shit inside our heads. God knows I do.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m okay. I’m happy here. I don’t let the past control me.”
Did he truly have a past? A past as horrific as mine? He couldn’t possibly. “Then you’re stronger than I am.”
“Strength isn’t really the issue. Perseverance is. It’s the journey.”
I sighed. “What if I’m tired of my journey? What if I’m just too fucking tired to persevere?”
“I think that’s why you’re here,” he said. “You’re running. You’re hiding. And that’s okay. It’s okay for a week. It’s even okay for two weeks, three weeks, a whole year. But eventually you won’t be able to run any longer.”
“I can run for a long time, Matt. I’m in great shape.”
“I can see that, but you know as well as I do that I was speaking metaphorically.”
I couldn’t help a smile. “Yeah, I know.”
“What are you running from, Riley?”
“A ghost,” I said. “The phantom that I fear will haunt me forever.”
“I understand, maybe even better than you think I do. Funny thing about ghosts, though. They can be exorcised.”
8
Matteo
“Can they?” she asked, her voice adorably childlike. “Can they truly?”