Anatoly was fine, and if it meant that I had to choose, I was going to choose Emma. “Lead the way.”
She led me to a small bedroom with an even smaller bed in the center and I grimaced, knowing that I was going to be far too close to my wife tonight. “I, um, we can go back downstairs,” Emma stammered as she realized that we both weren’t going to exactly fit on the bed without being in each other’s arms.
I sighed, kicking off my shoes. “I won’t do anything tonight, Emma, I swear it. Just let me hold you while you sleep.” I sure as hell wasn’t going to get any. Between keeping her safe and trying to figure out who was truly behind the kidnapping, I wasn’t planning on sleeping.
She nodded jerkily and kicked off her shoes, opting to stay fully clothed as she slid under the covers. I pulled the sweater over my head before easing in the other side, Emma’s body pressing up to mine the moment I threw the covers over me. I felt her stiffen as I eased my arm around her and drew her against my chest, feeling content for the first time in weeks. “Comfortable?”
She laid her head on my chest, her breath teasing my skin. “Yes, I am.”
I stared off into the dark, my hand rubbing Emma’s upper arm lightly, and wondered how hard Anatoly would laugh if he could see me now. He was right. I was changing, but it was for the better. All my life I thought I needed the bratva and nothing else, but now I found myself needing Emma far more than the brotherhood. She brought things into my life that I couldn’t ignore, like the way she felt pressed up against me like this.
“Artem?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry I thought you did this.”
I blew out a breath, tightening my hold on her. “It’s fine. My record isn’t the best, I understand.” I was just happy that she was not the one that had been taken. I would be out of my mind, tearing this damn state apart trying to find her.
“I should have trusted you wouldn’t do this,” she continued, her voice soft. “I don’t know what’s happening between us.”
I didn’t either, but with each day that passed, my need to have Emma in my life grew by leaps and bounds. It was fucking frightening to feel like this about someone, how she could turn it around and use it against me if she saw fit. No wonder some of the most powerful men had fallen to a woman. I would give Emma anything to see her smile at me or be the woman that had traded text messages with me last night.
Now I understood what my father had meant when he had told me that my mother was his life. I had always thought that he was crazy. The man had been the boss of a powerful bratva, with the world at his fingertips. Wives could be replaced.
But I would never want to replace Emma. I was so fucked.
“Artem?”
Realizing I hadn’t responded to her statement, I threaded my fingers in her hair, rubbing her head lightly. “I have deserved every question you have about me. You have every right to hate me.”
She shifted until her chin was resting on my chest and she was staring at me. “I don’t hate you, Artem. I might not have liked you from time to time, but I’ve never hated you.”
Her words struck me and suddenly I didn’t feel worthy of her. I had taken her away from her family and treated her like shit, yet she was telling me that she never hated me.
Hell, I hated myself for what I had done. “I don’t deserve this,” I blurted out, my chest tightening to the point where I felt as if I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t stay here with her. I needed space, to force myself to focus on what was important. Emma was clouding my judgment, and I knew if I remained one more moment in her arms, I was going to give myself completely to her control.
I moved to leave the bed, but she grabbed me around the waist, holding me in place. “Please,” Emma stated. “Don’t leave.”
Damn. Those words broke the need to escape and I forced myself to calm down, hauling her against me until her head was resting on my shoulder. My arm wrapped tightly around her, locking her in place. She was making me feel things I wasn’t comfortable with, but I couldn’t leave her. “Don’t leave me,” I growled. I couldn’t put into words what I needed from her, not yet.
Emma raised her head and I felt her lips graze my jaw. “All right, Artem.”
That had to be enough for now.
***
The next morning, I left a sleeping Emma in the bed and walked downstairs, where Anatoly was standing before the fire, a cup of coffee in his hand. “You’re so fucked,” he replied evenly.
I chuckled. I was fucking exhausted, having only caught a few winks of sleep with Emma pressed up against me, listening to her every sigh and comforting her when she grew restless in her sleep. More than once I hoped I had been the subject of those noises, and that her dreams were of what was to come between us and not of the ways I had hurt her in the past. “Yeah, I am.”
Anatoly’s eyes widened briefly, surprised that I had finally admitted it. “I really wish you would hit me or something right now. I’m not certain I know the man before me.”
I fell into the chair, rubbing a hand over my face. “I don’t know if I know him either.”
“What’s the plan?” my cousin asked tightly as I rested my head against the chair. “We can’t stay here indefinitely, Artem. There’s work to be done.”
“What did you find out?” I asked him wearily.
He swore. “Not much. We found a few biker gangs last night, but they didn’t know anything about the grab or why anyone would want to hurt the man. He’s harmless and has no ties to anyone.”
“I think they were after Emma,” I told him, fury coursing through my veins. “I don’t know why they settled on the old man, but if she had been the one driving the truck…” I couldn’t complete the sentence. I didn’t want to think about Emma in the hands of some unseen enemy and not being able to find her.
Pushing out of the chair, I looked at my cousin. “Guard the old woman. I’m taking Emma home.”
He arched a brow. “Is she going to go with you willingly?”
I thought back to our conversation last night, how she had humbled me with her words. “Yeah, I think she will.” She had to. Anatoly was right. I couldn’t conduct business here, but I wasn’t about to leave my wife here either. “Call in as many men as you need to get this shit done. I need that man back home.”
It was going to be the only way that Emma would completely trust me again.
Chapter 5
Emma
I shifted on the leather seat, listening to Artem speak softly into his phone. We were in the back of a luxury car, the driver separated by a smoked-glass window, and for the last hour, Artem had been on one call after another. His voice was urgent on this one, but he was speaking in Russian so I couldn’t understand a word he was saying.