Pain surged, threatening to break bones. A thread of consciousness waved and he grasped hold, using it to pull himself free.
Kira's past rose around him. Shadowed and insubstantial as if afraid to show itself.
A boy walked out of the gray, tendrils clinging to his form until he stood in front of Graydon. He was young, on the cusp of puberty, his ears pointed, his eyes wide-set and familiar. His eyes were a bright yellow. His hair was black, and his skin was brown.
There was a familiar sarcastic light in his eyes, and his lips were pulled up in an expression Graydon had seen more than once on Kira's face.
"Jin?"
"In the flesh." Jin glanced down. "Well, in the dream flesh."
Jin held up a hand, flexing the fingers before opening and closing them to make a fist with a look of fascination. His hand dropped, and he looked up at Graydon. "Shall we continue? Kira is waiting."
Graydon was slow to respond, Jin's appearance causing him to reconsider everything he thought he knew. Why was Jin in the form of a boy?
More importantly, why did he resemble so closely a boy Graydon already knew?
"Why did you take that form?" Graydon heard himself ask.
Jin's shrug was dismissive as he stuck his hands into the pockets of a pair of jeans, a decidedly human invention. "It felt right."
The dreamscape shimmered, the half-formed figures wobbling before dissipating.
Jin looked up, his expression wiser than any child's had a right to be. "Damn, I'd hoped she'd stay out of those memories. Nothing good ever comes of revisiting them."
Graydon was still stuck on Jin's appearance and didn't speak.
Jin shook his head in regret. "She's going to hate me for this later, but some things are worth the risk. I hope you don't betray the trust I'm about to put in you."
He didn't give Graydon time to respond. The scene spun.
Graydon ran through a field, trees all around, the dark pressing in, cloying in what it concealed. A small hand was clasped in his as his lungs burned with the need for air.
Kira/Graydon looked back, looking over the boy's head at the tree line behind them. The terrible bay of an animal hunting them floated out of the forest. The creature wasn't far. They'd never make it to the other side of the field in time.
The boy tripped, holding in his cry as he hit the ground. Kira/Graydon crouched beside him and eyes the color of sunny daisies looked up at them.
"Go," the boy whispered. "You'll never make it with me slowing you down."
He was right. They were going to be caught.
Desperation and terror threatened to strangle Kira/Graydon at the thought of returning to that cold, damp place.
The scene spun, and they stood in the rain, a rifle held in front of them. Their hands too small to properly grip it, their arms shaking as they struggled to keep it extended. Failure was too terrible a prospect to consider.
A shadowy monster the size of a giant paced in front of them. "Weakness won't be tolerated. Fail, and you will be punished."
A whimper came from beside her.
"Stay strong," she whispered to the young one.
It was a risk to speak. If their masters caught them, the beating would be brutal.
The boy's rifle clattered to the ground, the sound loud despite the pouring rain. Kira's face remained blank and uncaring. Emotion was pain here, and she was intent on surviving.
The giant's smile was cruel. "It seems we have a winner. Bring him."
The rest of those in the formation remained locked at attention, their bodies rigid as they kept the rifles uplifted. No one spoke. No one breathed for fear the masters would turn their focus to them.
The boy's gasping sobs could be heard as he was dragged out of the formation, stripped and then whipped, the flogger creating long streaks of red the rain washed away.
"We have to leave tonight. The distraction is already prepared. If we wait any longer, we'll be the ones they experiment on next," someone whispered as the boy collapsed and was dragged toward the gaping maw of the door.
Flash. The sky all around, ground to air artillery fire lighting up the air under their feet.
Flash. A Tsavitee demon class, its maw opened wide as it hammered at their armor.
Flash. A scream ripping from their chest as they destroyed the thing they feared.
Flash. The bridge of a ship as humans moved around them.
It was a strain, but Graydon managed to separate his consciousness from Kira's, not allowing himself to be dragged fully into the memory this time.
"You're good to launch, Whiskey One. Stay safe out there," a female said.
Kira limped into view, her foot encased in a cast.
"Don't forget to tell Phoenix to take care of that foot of hers. The rest of us will be happy to pick up her slack," a female said through the comms.
"Ha, fucking ha, Elise," Kira said with a carefree smile that startled Graydon. This Kira seemed younger than the one he knew, only a hint of the shadows he'd glimpsed in her eyes.
She was happy, he realized. Totally and completely.
"Try not to damage the deck on your way out," Kira was saying.
"Never, Nixxy. We'll leave that to you."
"Don't take it to heart, Sunshine," a man drawled. "You know the Phoenix can't stand being cooped up. Goes a little stir crazy."
Kira rolled her eyes as the humans around her ducked their heads, hiding their amusement. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, chuckle britches. I'll make sure to remember that next time I'm leading PT." Her expression became serious. "Stay focused out there. I don't want anyone damaging my perfect record because they got careless."
"Not to mention, I'd prefer we didn't look like complete idiots in front of our guests," a man said, stepping onto the bridge.
Seconds later, someone cried, "Commander on deck."
Those present snapped to attention. Kira was slower to move, as if going through the motions was almost more effort than they were worth.
"How are we looking, Captain Forrest?" the man asked, crossing the bridge.
Kira straightened from where she'd been leaning over a console. "Talks have begun, Commander. The rest of the Curs are sitting in their chutes, locked and loaded, and awaiting our orders."
"Very impatiently, I might add," someone said through the comms.
"When aren't you impatient?" Jin groused.
"Kids, let's not fight in front of the parents," the one Graydon had heard called Elise said. "The Phoenix doesn't like it."
The Phoenix in question made a sarcastic face at the console as those on the bridge grinned. It was obvious they were used to the byplay.
That was the way of things for those among the warrior class. They weren't always easy with your feelings, more prone to finding the spots you'd like to protect and then poking and prodding until a hard callous formed, but they were there when it counted.
And Graydon had a feeling this moment in time had counted for Kira.
The shadows he sometimes saw in her had their origins in this memory.
"Look alive out there," Kira said. "No games. We can't chance anything with the entire universe watching our every move. Get in, make sure the comet's not hiding any nasty surprises, and then get out."
"You think they'll name it after us?" someone asked.