“I don’t have an appointment today. I don’t expect you to feed me,” Kira said, one finger tapping restlessly against her thigh.
Since the first confrontation when Kira had insisted Elodie not be privy to the details of her diagnosis, the healer had made herself noticeably absent during Kira’s morning treatments.
Elodie finally looked up. “In that case, Quillon should be here soon. I’m sure you’ll want to wait until he returns.”
Kira nodded, drifting around the room as Elodie sat and began serving herself a spoonful of the many dishes she’d unpacked.
Finn waited next to the door, his expression typically blank.
“It was brave, what you did for Devon,” Elodie said after several minutes. Her eyes lingered on the inhibitor still locked around Kira’s wrist. “Stupid with that hampering you, but brave all the same.”
“You’re not the first person who has said something to that effect,” Kira admitted.
Elodie snorted and sat back. “I can imagine. They do like to harp on a person.”
Kira sent a look at the healer, surprised to hear such a sentiment echoed by one of Roake’s members. She’d thought they all happily toed the same line.
Elodie laughed. “I’ll admit it’s not always easy to live with these people, having them critique your decisions like a bunch of overprotective siblings.”
“Then why do it?” Kira asked.
Elodie sobered. “Because the alternative is far worse. To be alone? To have no one care enough to call you on your bullshit? I’ll take the small irritations this lot gives me any day over such a bleak existence.”
Kira considered her words. “Fair point.”
Solitude—true solitude—wasn’t easy. It preyed on the soul, filing it down to the bare bones. Lucky for Kira, she wasn’t alone. She had Jin. Always.
“Did you ever consider following Quillon’s path?” Kira asked.
Elodie snorted and busied herself with the food. “No.”
“But you could—if you wanted to.”
This time Elodie speared her with a look, a frown wrinkling her forehead as she studied Kira. “I could. If I indicated a leaning toward that direction, I could submit myself to the Trial of the Broken and request a seon’yer who would prepare me for that life.”
“But you don’t,” Kira said slowly, trying to understand.
“No, I don’t.”
“Why?” Kira asked.
Elodie released a deep sigh. “By now, you should have realized the path you’ve chosen is hard. Even if you pass the uhva na, you face a difficult road. Training is designed to break the weak. Doing and seeing things that the rest of us don’t have to. It’s a calling and not one to be undertaken lightly.”
Elodie glanced at Finn. “Ask your oshota. He’ll tell you.”
Finn stared at the healer for a long moment before lifting his eyes to Kira’s. “She is correct. There is great honor in being deemed worthy for the adva ka, but there is a lot of hardship as well.”
Elodie took a bite of her meal, chewing and then swallowing. “The uhva na has killed those it deemed unworthy. Call me crazy, but I have no desire to chance that fate.”
Kira pondered their words.
Elodie sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Is that it? Is that why you came here?”
Before Kira could answer, Quillon stepped inside the med bay, coming to an abrupt stop as he caught sight of Kira.
Elodie placed a piece of bread-like food on her plate and dusted off her hands. “I’ll be going. I’m sure you’d like a little privacy for your conversation.”
Kira hesitated. Her instinct was to let the healer go, but for some reason, she found herself saying. “Not yet. This next part isn’t sensitive.”
Surprise crossed Elodie’s face. After a moment, she settled in her chair as Quillon lifted his eyebrows at Kira.
“I’m surprised to see you,” he finally said. “You’ve made no attempt to hide how much you dislike coming here every day. I thought once your preliminary treatments were up, I’d have to find someone to drag you here.”
The corner of Kira’s mouth quirked in wry acknowledgment. “I can’t say I would be here now if not for Elodie’s interference.”
Quillon slid his fellow healer a look. “Then I’m glad you two had a chance to talk.”
As was Kira. She still wasn’t comfortable with the other woman, and unreserved trust was a long way off, but Elodie made her pause and consider a different perspective.
In the healer’s place, Kira wouldn’t have handled being kicked out of her own territory with nearly as much grace. That Elodie had, said the woman was someone worth knowing.
“What have you come here for?” Quillon asked.
Kira folded her arms across her chest, uncomfortable. It had never been easy for her to ask for help, less so when it came to doctors and the sort.
The confrontation with the primus, however, had made it clear she couldn’t keep trying to do this alone.
“Affinities,” Kira finally said. “I don’t understand them—and I’d like to.”
The two glanced at each other. Quillon’s expression gave nothing away, even as Elodie looked slightly confused.
“What about them?” Elodie asked.
“How do they work? Why are they important?” Kira asked.
The two exchanged another look.
“What makes you ask?” Quillon finally said.
Kira screwed her mouth up, unsure how much she should reveal. “Devon. He used ki while in the primus form.” She hesitated, before adding. “I never have. At least not in that way.”
Tear things apart with her bare hands? Yes. Go on a killing spree that left dozens dead? Of course. Use her soul’s breath? Not once that she knew of.
Elodie stood without a word and strode to a cabinet, rustling inside while the rest of them watched.
She returned with her arms filled to overflowing with stones of all colors and shapes. They clattered to the table she’d been using for her meal as she moved quickly to set the food aside.
“This is a test we give every child to see what form their soul’s breath takes. Since you didn’t grow up among us, it might be a good place to start,” Elodie said, her hands moving quickly as she laid out the stones.
Kira watched as they took on a familiar pattern. “I’ve taken this test before on Luatha. No affinities revealed themselves.”
“Most Houses typically test for those skills prevalent within,” Elodie explained. “Though you have Luathan blood inside you, you’re also Roake. It’s possible your affinities lie more with us.”
Quillon stirred, “Each House cultivates the affinities that are most beneficial to them.”
Kira bristled. “And how do they do that?”
Quillon’s eyes crinkled. “Nothing as bad as you’re imagining, though there are some who do choose mates based on their affinities and strength. However, that is not the primary way Roake introduces new affinities into our bloodlines.”
Kira relaxed. The idea the Tuann would arrange breeding lines to boost their abilities was a disturbing one. It smacked too much of the camps and what they’d been willing to do for power.