He was quite certain that after finding out about the pregnancy, wherever she was, she wanted to be alone. She’d just had a big shock, and she was very used to dealing with those on her own. From a very young age she’d been responsible for just about everything. She’d buttoned herself up and kept her head down to make it all happen. She’d learned to be organized and type A just so Gavin and Winnie would make it to school fed and clothed, and the bills got paid. Frankly, he was in awe of her and all she’d done, and also proud of her.
But he wanted to be there for her, however he could. If she’d let him.
And that was a big if . . .
When he realized she was probably walking around the lake and that it’d be easier and faster to find her with the boat, he went back for it. He putted toward the north shore and caught sight of her from several hundred yards out. She was sitting on the tire swing, writing in her journal.
He understood. He hadn’t grown up here, but the sparkling water, the rolling hills, the trees, the scent of all of it gave him such a sense of peace.
Piper glanced up at the sound of the engine, and even from this distance he could read her. She was not pleased with his arrival.
He turned off the motor and drifted in close, beaching the bow, tying off, and then leaping to shore. “For a woman who’s deathly afraid of the water, you sure like to be near it.”
She didn’t budge. His favorite female badass just slanted him a long look. “Just because I don’t want to be in it doesn’t mean I can’t love it,” she said. “The scent and sounds of it make me happy.”
“You’re a conundrum.”
That got him a small smile. “So I’ve been told, and not as nicely.”
“I talked to your siblings.”
“Yeah? Did they raise your blood pressure with just their presence?”
He smiled, but it faded quickly.
She stared at him. “She told you?”
When he didn’t answer right away, she repeated the question, but without the question part. “She told you, just like that.” She shook her head. “Am I hard to talk to? Is that it?”
“No.”
She sighed. “You’re just saying that because I slept with you.”
“Technically, there wasn’t much sleeping involved.”
She tipped her head back to look up at the sky. “I’m not doing a good job at life-ing right now.”
“I disagree. You amaze me, Piper, every day.”
“So why do both my siblings go to you with their problems instead of me?” She looked confused and hurt.
“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to someone with a little distance, who can look at things more rationally, with a different perspective.”
“Why are you doing this, Cam?”
“Doing what?”
“Getting close to them.”
“I like them,” he said.
“And me. Why are you getting close to me?”
“You mean other than your sweet, sunny nature?”
She didn’t smile. In fact, she stared at him like she was seeing him for the very first time. “I keep people at arm’s length for a reason,” she said, getting to her feet. “Because I don’t need or want anyone in my business or my life.”
“Maybe I care about you.”
“You shouldn’t. I don’t want you to. And I don’t know why you would.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a beat and then shook her head. “I’m sorry. Clearly, I need a time-out.”
And with that, she turned and walked off. Not toward home, but the other way, farther north. He let her get a good head start before following on foot, just wanting to make sure she was okay. A minute later, she stopped and turned to face him, swiping at tears that broke his heart.
He closed the distance between them, never breaking eye contact. “Why do I care?” he asked, echoing her words as he stroked her cheek with his thumb. “I care because I want you to have a happy, fulfilling life. I care because I know you’re hurting. I care because I’m emotionally attached to you. Hell, Piper, I just want to help you, but I can’t because you won’t let me in. Let me in.”
She closed her eyes, and he thought she was denying him, but then she whispered, “No one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”
His chest was tight when he put his hands on her hips and pulled her in. “Then I’ll keep saying it.”
She swallowed hard and went up on tiptoes to press her forehead to his. “It means more than you’ll ever know.” She paused. “I . . . overreacted. I’m sorry. I’m just having a hard time shutting down my emotions. They keep spilling out of me. It’s like an avalanche. A tsunami. I can’t seem to control them.”
“Then don’t shut them down. Let them come out. Then let them go.”
“I can’t. Not here. Winnie and Gavin will come looking for me eventually. I need to talk to them, but . . . Winnie’s having a baby. God.” She appeared to try to beat back the panic. “I need to process first, and I need to be alone for that.”
“I’ve got just the place.”
Chapter 20
“It turns out that I am going to hit on you again. You should brace yourself because I’m going to be very convincing.”
Piper walked with Cam back the way they’d come, not realizing that his destination was the boat. Stopping, she shook her head. “I might’ve given you the wrong idea. I’m not exactly in the mood—”
“I know. We’re not going there.”
Wait . . . they weren’t? If she had any brain power left, she’d allocate some to figuring out why he didn’t want to sleep with her again.
“You wanted to be alone,” he said. “I’m trying to give you that.”
“Great, but can’t that be anywhere other than the boat?”
“Name one place in this town we can go where your siblings aren’t going to be able to find you.”
Good point. Dammit. She eyed the boat, and then Cam again. The water was calmer than it’d been in days. But still . . .
His eyes softened. “I’ve got you, Piper.”
She sucked in a breath at the words that felt so . . . comforting. Why? What was it about him that gave her strength? She had no idea.
But getting on the water . . . Yes, she’d been onboard with him before, but that had been . . . different. For one thing, they hadn’t actually been moving; they’d been tied up to the dock. It had taken several mind tricks to allow herself to be okay, although once Cam’s hands and mouth and body had gotten on her, she’d forgotten they’d been on a boat at all.
But at the moment, she was in the middle of a pity party for one, thank you very much, and she wasn’t ready to be over it.
Ahead of her, Cam untied the boat with quick, practiced ease, and she took a moment to appreciate the way he moved because she wasn’t dead. But then, holding the rope in one hand, he held out his other for her.
She shook her head.
He was smart enough not to rush her. And she knew he’d never make her do anything she didn’t want to. Nope, his tactic was even worse.
He waited for her to come to him.