Fuck, yes. This—this was something more, God, it was too fucking much, but Damon couldn’t get enough. He moved inside Rian, and felt it in his entire body; in the tension and fire raking burning claws over him, in the way Rian arched and clutched at him, in the way their lips came together as if they could devour each other and somehow meld into one. Damon barely had room to move in the close confines of the cargo area, but it didn’t matter when they flowed together, their bodies caught in this push and pull that stoked him hotter and hotter until he didn’t realize he was whispering Rian’s name again and again until it was all he could taste, branded on the tip of his tongue.
Too much, not enough, everything, and for a moment he thought...
This is what I want.
This is what I need.
To feel like I’m part of something that’s mine and only mine...
...except it belongs to both of us.
So hot. So sweet. So perfect, this thing of fluid motion and bursting rushes of pleasure that came in startling surges that took his breath away, catching him off guard with the overwhelming crush of it before it took him again and again in every sensation of Rian—of the loose lush invitation of his lips, the sound of his purring voice, the flex and pull of his body underneath Damon’s, the pressure of his fingertips in Damon’s back. The clutch of his thighs against Damon’s hips. The tight clench of his inner depths, convulsing and contracting and holding him fast in a deadlocked grasp of pleasure. The pulse of his cock against Damon’s palm, as he took Rian and stroked him over and over.
Everything Rian.
Everything them.
Everything they became together as they crashed and surged, trembled and rolled, thrust and clung and kissed and gasped until they made a tandem rhythm of whispered names and begging cries. He didn’t even know which one of them broke first, or if it mattered, or if he could tell one from the other.
He only knew that one moment he was licking his name from Rian’s lips.
The next he was falling, tumbling, in free-fall, out of control.
And even as his fingers turned wet and Rian’s nails ravaged his back in acid lines, he bucked and his entire body whiplash-cracked with the force of the feeling pouring out of him. A feeling no one else had ever pushed to such wild, consuming depths; a feeling that had never overcome him with such intensity that he lost himself this way. A feeling he didn’t want to let go of, as he buried his face in Rian’s throat and kissed over his pulse and bit him, tasted him, marked him as mine.
I want you as mine, he thought, as his spine locked and his hips shuddered and he buried himself deeper in Rian and emptied himself, poured out his flesh and life and need in taut-quivering snaps of breaking tension. I want you as mine...and I don’t want to let you go.
* * *
Oh, God.
They’d done it again.
Rian lay under Damon, his fingers still tangled in Damon’s hair and curled against the back of his neck, the sheen of sweat between them glossing his skin and his entire body throbbing in rhythm with his pulse and the tired, sweet pain seated deep as a heart inside him; he stared up at the roof of the Jeep, struggling to catch his breath.
Oh, damn it.
Why did he keep doing this?
Why did he keep falling into Damon like this, when just tumbling into sex wasn’t going to fix any of the tangled mess between them, and it was just making a bigger disaster when they did?
I can’t.
I can’t be falling for him, this...this makes my heart hurt, I... I can’t be, but...
...I think I already have.
And I don’t know what to do about it.
When every time we start to maybe sort through all of this...we just...have sex and screw it all up again like sex is supposed to smooth everything away.
He realized, then, that Damon was oddly still against him, his face buried in Rian’s throat, warm breaths against his skin, tickling at his neck. It wasn’t just lazy quiet, lax relaxation; Damon wasn’t quite stiff, but Rian could feel that he was holding himself very carefully in place, and he thought maybe...
Damon wasn’t okay, either.
No matter how good it felt...they had to stop doing this. Not like this, at least.
Rian bit his sore, tender lower lip, untangling his fingers from Damon’s hair to touch his shoulder, tracing down to his bicep. “Hey,” he murmured tentatively. “Are you all right?”
“...not sure yet,” Damon grumbled into his neck. “Hard to think straight with my dick in you. Hold still, I’m gonna try not to make this hurt.”
Trying didn’t mean Rian didn’t suck in a sharp, harsh breath and tense as Damon braced his hands to either side of Rian’s body and lifted his hips, arching his back as he drew back—and his softening cock dragged thickly inside Rian, pulling against sore flesh and leaving him gasping as Damon parted their bodies and left him with only emptiness and lingering after-echoes of not entirely unpleasant pain. Whimpering, he curled on his side inside the cage of Damon’s arms, closing his eyes and struggling to make his body just calm down.
“Shh,” Damon soothed, brushing Rian’s hair back from his cheeks and leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth. “Take your time. Breathe. You gonna be okay?”
“Y-yes.” Inhale; exhale; inhale; exhale; it was less the pain and more Damon’s tender, gentle touches that made Rian feel like he was going to hyperventilate. “I’m just...mmn. I’m not...used to doing that regularly anymore.”
“No?” Damon’s voice sounded strange—and Rian opened his eyes to find the look in Damon’s eyes just as odd, studying Rian with that unreadable regard. “Guess two times is enough to border on a habit, huh.”
Rian winced, shifting onto his back again, reaching up to rest his hand to Damon’s chest. “I suppose we...are still in the middle of some rather fraught emotions, and—”
He let out a startled sound as Damon caught his hand, stopping it short of touching Damon, gripping hard. “Don’t,” Damon bit off, brows lowering. “Don’t you fucking do that again.”
Going still, swallowing the lump in his throat, Rian stared up at Damon. “Do...do what?”
“What you did last time.” The words came out hard, like Damon was cutting their edges with his teeth. “Don’t tell me this was just some mechanical fucking thing. A one-night stand.”
Rian’s heart went completely still, while the rest of his body seemed to convulse to compensate, every vein constricting in on itself in a clutch of hurt. He couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but ache and spin dizzily and want, but he managed to find faint words.
“It...it wasn’t.”