Enyo’s smile faded as he added that, her hand lowering from her mouth. “That is not so amusing. No wonder he is still apologising.”
Gods, this felt too comfortable.
Too much like old times.
But it wasn’t.
He couldn’t pretend things were the same as they had been then, not when they were vastly different. He couldn’t let himself get swept up in a fantasy. Things had fundamentally changed between them and he needed to acknowledge that, to put it out there and get it off his chest before he did something foolish.
Like believing his love for Enyo was going to have a happy ending.
Enyo crossed the bridge, her gaze drifting over the mossy boulders and trees, and the fading blooms as she followed the winding path that trailed over the gentle hills and around stone lanterns. Keras followed her, battling his rising nerves, fighting to find his voice again.
“Esher is right, the garden is beautiful.” She turned to him with a smile that lit up her whole face.
Keras couldn’t hold the words back any longer.
“How is your husband?”
The light in her eyes faded, her smile dying once again. His fault this time. Her expression shifted, growing sombre, or perhaps awkward.
He curled his fingers into fists and clenched them hard, until his bones burned and the pain comforted him, giving him something else to focus on as he warred with himself, torn between taking back that question and pressing her to answer.
A soft light entered her pale green eyes as she stared into his, cut into his heart and felt as if it was cleaving it in two, because he couldn’t bear her looking at him like that, not when she could never be his.
“I am not married,” she whispered, her voice so low that he barely heard her, was sure he had imagined those words leaving her lips.
They hit him hard, unleashing unruly emotions that again defied the lingering effect of his pills. The backs of his eyes stung as he stared into hers and sought the truth there, confirmation that he hadn’t just imagined she had announced she was not married.
The gentle warmth and light that had been filling him faded to icy cold as another possible reason for her saying such a thing entered his mind.
“You are not?” he said, ignoring the trembling in his limbs, how his knees felt dreadfully weak beneath him. “I thought you would have wed your betrothed by now.”
He clung to tattered shreds of hope, trying to keep himself steady as he waited for her answer, every second stretching into a painful infinity.
She slowly shook her head. “I called it off.”
Keras’s knees almost gave out.
He casually leaned against the end post of the bridge, praying to every god imaginable that she wouldn’t notice his sudden weakness, because he wanted to appear strong in her eyes.
As strong as she had once called him, saying it with a light in her eyes that had let him know she admired that quality in him. He wanted her to admire it now, not see how easily she had defeated him with a handful of words and had him on the verge of collapsing.
Or perhaps something even worse.
Like crying.
He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. No. He could.
He had wept that first night he had come to the mortal world, his heart in tatters, the pain so fierce he hadn’t been able to hold it back. He had made his excuses to his brothers, some lie about scouting Tokyo to ensure it was safe for them, and had ended up on his knees in the middle of a lush field, crying so hard he had caused a thunderstorm to lash at the world, one that had saturated him in under a second.
Not his finest hour.
He stared at Enyo, finding it hard to believe she was speaking the truth, even when it was right there in her eyes.
He needed to be sure. “You called it off?”
She gave a slight chuckle and shook her head. “Is that so hard to believe?”
“I’ve met your brother.” He frowned at her.
She blinked and her eyes widened.
He felt the shock that rippled through her and wanted to smile, because he knew it stemmed from the fact he had known all along that her brother had been behind her engagement.
She twisted away from him and leaned her elbows on the curved railing of the bridge, her gaze downcast, eyes fixed on the fish that milled around below her. Her voice was soft, slightly distant as she said, “I decided long ago that my brother should not dictate my entire life… although I cannot seem to stop him from dictating some of it.”
Keras eased a step closer, his heart drumming hard against his ribs. “How long ago?”
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, a brief glance that told him she wouldn’t be answering that question.
She didn’t need to.
Her awkwardness confirmed it for him, had him risking a step closer to her, needing to be near her now that he knew she had broken off her engagement when he had left the Underworld.
The thought that she had been available these last two hundred years, that things might have been different between them if he had found the courage to visit her and put his feelings out there, scoured his insides, hollowing him out.
But he hadn’t been the only one who could have taken the leap.
She could have come to him.
He leaned beside her, keeping a few inches between them, and watched the fish as he battled another surge of darkness. He couldn’t blame her. They hadn’t parted on the best of terms. He had been cold towards her after her announcement and had left without saying goodbye to her. He had given her no reason to believe he had feelings for her beyond friendship.
Did she have feelings for him in that way?
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, tracing her profile, absorbing this moment and how beautiful she was, and how comfortable it was to be with her like this.
Like old times.
And nothing had changed.
Relief washed through him, carried away every shred of pain he had been feeling and left him light inside, floating as he stood beside her.
His gaze drifted down the delicate slope of her nose to her lips and lingered, heat suffusing him as the urge to reach out, slide his hand along her jaw and tilt her head towards him so he could kiss her filled him.
Her eyes collided with his as she turned her head, as if she had felt his need and was obeying it.
He tried to think of something to say as nerves rose inside him, worse than ever as his thoughts spun and blurred, the urge to kiss her running around his mind at high speed.
Keras flexed the fingers of his left hand, began to lift it.
All hell broke loose behind him.
Chapter 6
Enyo started, violently shoved from her reverie about kissing Keras for the first time, from the intense sense of anticipation that had been filling her as she had waited to see what he would do, aware on some primal level that he wanted to do something.
Hoping that it had been to kiss her.
The peace of the garden and the pleasure of his company was shattered as a woman called for help.
Keras was swift to leave her, sprinting across the garden to the wing of the house to her right, where they had stepped down into the garden together. Enyo raced after him, struggling to keep up with him. He hit the wooden floorboards at breakneck speed, and skidded to a halt in front of the second set of white wood-framed panels just as they were pushed open.
“Keras,” the brunette female breathed, her hands rubbing her swollen belly through an orange woollen sweater. “Something is wrong.”