The bartender poured her drink and then scurried off to put in her food order. After he was gone, Doc said, “You can tell me to mind my own damn business, but what’s giving you the most fits? What happened out on the water? Or what happened this evening with Mason and Donna?”
“The latter. Definitely the latter.” Then visions of the former flipped through her mind like a movie reel and she clapped a hand over her mouth. To her dismay, a little bleating sound escaped her throat and she shook her head. “Or maybe I’m lying. Maybe being mad at Mason is easier than thinking about what happened this morning.”
Doc nodded in understanding and picked at the label on his beer bottle with his thumbnail. “When you’re ready to think about it, I’m here for you.”
She squeezed his arm in gratitude. “I know, Doc. And thank you for coming to my rescue with that whole Donna”—she choked on the woman’s name—“thing. That could’ve been humiliating. Not that it wasn’t humiliating, given how I’ve been throwing myself at Mason like cheap confetti. But, you know, it could’ve been even more humiliating.”
He regarded her kindly. “When she showed up out of nowhere, I knew there’d be a scene.”
Alex traced a finger over the top of her bourbon glass. “Did you know about her? Before tonight, I mean?”
She liked to think that if the Deep Six Salvage guys had known about Donna, they would’ve given her a little warning. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe the bonds of brotherhood were stronger than the bonds of any friendship they’d formed with her.
“I…” Doc began and then hesitated. “There were a few times Mason and I did supply runs together and he disappeared on me,” he finally admitted. Alex grimaced at the thought of what Mason was doing during those hours. “So, sure. I suspected he was seeing someone. But I never got the impression it was anything serious enough to keep him from taking you up on what you’re offering. Sorry, Baby Bear. Maybe I should have seen it. It’s just that Mason… He’s…” Doc frowned as if searching for the right word.
“A asshole of gargantuan proportions?” she supplied helpfully.
“Private,” he finally finished. Then he slanted her a look. “But that’s no excuse for him hurting you the way he has.”
“He hasn’t hurt me, per se. But he has made me look like a fool.” Doc didn’t say anything to that, so she added, “As frustrating as he can be sometimes…okay, most times…I thought he liked me. I thought he respected me. I thought at the very least we were friends. I can’t understand why he didn’t just tell me the truth from the get-go.”
“Maybe because the truth is more complicated than you think. And you know Mason isn’t one for explanations when a grunt will do.”
Alex let loose with a grunt herself, and then they both fell silent. Doc slowly drinking his beer. Her staring into her bourbon, trying hard not to imagine Mason upstairs with Donna of the bubbly personality and winning smile.
Green Day came through the speakers now. Billie Joe Armstrong singing about walking down a boulevard of broken dreams.
It’s like someone made a playlist for my life, she thought dejectedly.
Laying her head on Doc’s shoulder, she sighed. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to help me out, would you?”
Doc got very still.
She shoved away from him and found his eyes laser-focused on hers, his expression… What was that look exactly? Stricken?
“Help you with what?” he asked slowly.
“Never mind.” She waved a hand. “It was a joke anyway, so you can stop looking at me like I asked you to go out and kick a dog.”
“Alex.” He deep voice was achingly tender, and it made her own throat feel full. “If I thought you really meant it, I’d take you upstairs this minute, peel off that robe, and show you everything you’ve been missing.”
Now her throat wasn’t just full, it was dry too. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth when she said, “Don’t bullshit a bullshitter, Doc.”
“Alexandra Merriweather, you are many things, but a bullshitter isn’t one of them. In fact, you’re so earnest it’s almost painful.” She felt her chin wobble and he was quick to add, “It’s one of your best qualities. Never lose it.”
Snagging one of her curls, he pulled it straight. Then he let it go and watched it spring back into a spiral. His green eyes darkened, and it seemed as if he chose his next words carefully.
“You’re a lovely woman.” When she opened her mouth to object, he lifted a finger and placed it over her lips. “Hush. Let me finish.”
She swallowed thickly and nodded for him to go on.
“I know you don’t see it because you feel like you were an ugly duckling growing up. And maybe you were. Who am I to say? But just like the story, you’ve turned into a swan. And if you keep going around offering yourself up to men, one of them is going to take you up on it.”
“That’s the whole point.” She crossed her arms irritably. “There are forty million unmarried men over the age of eighteen in the United States. I’m hoping at least one of them will agree to do me.”
“I know you think it doesn’t matter.” He shook his head. “That it’s not a big deal as long as it’s a done deal, but it can be beautiful if you wait and do it with the right person. It should be beautiful and done with the right person.”
“Ugh!” She blew out an exasperated breath. “I live on an island with a bunch of men who act as if life is one giant bachelor party. But when it comes to me and my virginity, they get all flowery and virtuous.”
Doc didn’t respond to that. Instead he said, “Can I ask you a question?” His visage seemed…something. Not troubled exactly. Maybe puzzled was the word she was looking for.
“Go for it.” She made a rolling motion with her hand. “I’ll answer, because you know me. Miss Earnest.”
“Why Mason?”
“Ha!” That made her laugh. “That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it? I’ve asked myself that so many times I’ve lost count.”
“What answer did you come up with?”
“I don’t know exactly.” She shrugged. “I like him. Or liked him.” She glowered at the bar, running her fingernail over a scratch on the wooden surface. “And it felt right to ask him to be the one.”
Her food arrived. But for the first time in her life, she’d lost her appetite.
“Can I close out my tab and get this to go?” she asked the bartender. Wincing, she added, “Sorry to be a bother.”