That was the last time they’d had a chance to speak. He’d been too busy conferring with the guys the rest of the afternoon. And then in the evening, when she took him a paper plate heaped with the mac and cheese she’d made for dinner—she’d needed something to keep her mind and body busy—he’d barely dropped the binoculars to thank her for the food.
Mason took sentry duty as seriously as he took everything in life, giving it 100 percent of his concentration. Not that she was complaining. Because when that concentration was focused on her? Whew, boy!
“You can totally tell me to mind my own business.” Chrissy broke into her thoughts. “I won’t take offense.”
“Is it serious between us?” Alex pondered the question. “I guess you could call it that. Or maybe ‘terminal’ is a better word for it.”
Chrissy rolled onto her side and propped her cheek in her hand. Meat voiced his disapproval at being jostled by grunting loudly and smacking his floppy lips. Then he immediately went back to snoring.
In answer, Li’l Bastard, who roosted on the porch railing just beyond the screen, clucked contentedly. The happy noise mixed with the clacking of palm fronds as they were tickled by a warm sea breeze.
“Why terminal?” Chrissy asked. “Because you’re in love with him?”
“More because he’s not in love with me,” Alex admitted wretchedly. The knowledge made something hard and sharp poke at the backs of her eyes.
“Give him time.” Chrissy’s tone was certain.
Alex made a rude noise. “See, that’s the one thing I don’t have.”
The moonlight streaming in under the roofline caught in Chrissy’s hair and made it shine when she shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“All Mason agreed to was one day. Today. Tomorrow we go back to being friends and pretending today never happened.” Saying the words aloud increased the sharpness of the pressure behind her eyes. “I thought something was better than nothing, you know? But now I’m not so sure. It’s killing me thinking of living and working next to him without being able to touch him or hug him or kiss him.”
“Why would he insist on something like that?” Even in the low light, Alex could see the deep line that appeared between Chrissy’s eyebrows. “Like I said, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and it’s a far cry from a one-night stand and then let’s-be-friends.”
Alex didn’t tell her what Mason had said about never wanting to fall in love or have a family. She didn’t explain that he thought the navy had changed him, made him unfit to lead a regular life. Neither did she reveal her suspicions that some, or maybe all, of that had something to do with his ex-wife.
She thought, perhaps, she might have been the first person he’d ever shared those secrets with. She wouldn’t break his confidence.
Instead, she said, “Speaking of the way a man looks at a woman, you and Wolf seem to be getting along better.”
Chrissy’s eyes narrowed. She was no fool. She hadn’t missed Alex’s swift change of subject. But she shrugged. “Like you and Mason, we’ve agreed to be friends. I guess it’s contagious.”
Alex frowned. They said misery loved company, but she wished with her whole heart that it could be different for Wolf and Chrissy. Mostly because Alex loved Wolf like a brother, and she particularly loved how Chrissy walking into a room made his whole face light up.
“It’s like licking honey from a thorn,” she mumbled. “Sweet and painful at the same time.”
Chrissy cocked her head. “What is?”
“Being in love with a man you can’t have.”
“Oh, no.” Chrissy shook her head. “That’s were our two paths diverge. I’m not in love with Wolf. And I plan to keep it that way, despite his charm and that damnably pretty face of his.”
“Does it work that way? Can you choose whether to fall in love?” Alex genuinely wanted to know. In her experience, it did not. Nothing she’d done in the past could have kept her from loving Mason. And she couldn’t imagine anything she could do in the future that would change that.
He was under her skin. In her blood. Deep in her marrow.
Her body had been born with a Mason-shaped piece missing. The day she met him, she’d been made whole.
“Of course it works that way,” Chrissy declared. “We might not get to choose who touches our hearts. But we can definitely choose who we allow to hold them.”
Before Alex could reply, the screen door banged open. Meat flipped onto his stomach and let out a testy woof. Then he relaxed when Wolf walked onto the porch.
“Headed to the back of the island to take over from Mason.” He stretched his arms toward the porch’s roof. He looked long and sleek in the moonlight, like a dark jungle cat. Alex thought she heard Chrissy suck in an involuntary breath.
“You ladies doin’ okay out here?” He included Alex in his inquiry, but she knew the only answer he truly cared about was Chrissy’s.
“Fine. Stay safe out there.” Chrissy’s tone was curt. No doubt an overreaction to her unintentional gasp upon seeing his magnificence.
Wolf offered her a mock salute.
In return, Chrissy stuck out her tongue.
“Careful.” His voice dropped an octave. “Some men might take that as an invitation.”
“Guess it’s a good thing you’re not some men,” she shot back cheekily.
“You’re right. Do me a favor and remind yourself of that as often as possible.”
Chrissy sputtered. But before she could come up with a reply, Wolf descended the porch steps and disappeared into the night. He was swallowed up by the blackness of the trees so quickly, Alex might have thought he’d truly disappeared if not for the crackling sound of the walkie-talkie on his hip.
The guys were exchanging information.
Or telling bawdy jokes?
She thought she heard a faint What did one butt cheek say to the other?
“Have a good night,” she told Chrissy when Wolf’s walkie-talkie grew too faint for her to hear the punch line. Throwing back the covers, she climbed from bed.
“Wait.” Chrissy grabbed her wrist. “Where are you going?”
“To Mason’s room. He has four hours before he’s supposed to relieve Doc from duty.” Having decided on three lookout spots, the men had set a schedule that allowed them to rotate. “I plan to make good use of each and every one of them.”
* * *
10:15 p.m.
The whole time Mason had been on lookout duty, all he’d been able to think about was Alex.