When Alice came further into the room, Emma looked up from the book in her hands and immediately smiled in welcome.
“I do hope I am not interrupting,” Alice whispered, looking around the room again to ensure herself they were alone. “But when you did not arrive with Lady Josephine for the painting session—”
“Oh, I try to avoid painting when possible. I am afraid it is not one of my talents.” Emma brushed aside her shortcoming and rose from her chair, then gestured to a couch where both of them might sit comfortably. “Do join me. I thought about seeking you out, but you are always so busy planning the children’s lessons that I had no wish to disturb you.”
Alice settled next to her friend and spoke with sincerity. “I am always happy to make time for you.” Then she rubbed at her forehead. “Though today I must beg your time and advice.”
“This sounds almost serious.” Emma leaned back against the curve of the couch’s arm. “Is something amiss?”
Twisting her father’s ring upon her thumb, Alice considered how to begin the conversation. “Will you keep what I tell you between us, Emma? I am—that is, I do not wish anyone else to know what I wish to tell you.”
Emma gave one firm nod. “So long as what you have to say poses no harm to others, I will keep your secrets.”
It was as reasonable an answer as one could hope for. Alice took in a deep breath before speaking.
“You have teased me about Mr. Gardiner before, if you will recall?”
Emma’s lips twitched. “Indeed. I think he is rather enamored with you. I have never heard him speak with such warmth of a woman, of anyone, really. He admires your talent, and your person.”
Alice clenched her hands together in her lap, feeling her cheeks grow warm. “He kissed me yesterday.”
The other woman’s mouth fell open. “What? When?”
The whole story came spilling out of Alice, rather like water from a fountain, and she wrung her hands as she told it. Then her concerns came next. “What if this means nothing to him? As kind and sincere as he is, he is a gentleman of means and importance. He is friends with the duke. I am only a governess. I have no connections of consequence. He cannot be serious about his affections.” Her eyes filled with tears and she searched her sleeve for her handkerchief.
“Here, take mine.” Emma thrust a clean handkerchief trimmed with lace into Alice’s hand. “You poor dear. I understand you perfectly.” Emma moved closer and put her arm about Alice’s shoulders. “The world is a frightening place for a woman alone, and those in our position, reliant upon our reputation but without protectors, are even more vulnerable.”
Alice nodded as she dabbed at her eyes. “I am thoroughly confused, too. I certainly like him. I have from the first time I met him, when I thought him a gardener.” She laughed at the memory, though the sound was somewhat bleak. “And yesterday, when he said how much he missed me, and he kissed me—I wanted to believe him. But how can I? Emma, I am a poor nobody.”
“And you are concerned he is toying with your feelings?”
Though she hesitated a moment, well remembering the sincerity of Rupert’s eyes and tone, Alice answered with a weak shrug. “I think he has an affection for me. But he cannot understand how complicated it would be for either of us. What would people say about him marrying a governess?”
“Alice, that might be your current position, but you are also the daughter of a gentleman. Orphaned or not. And you do have family scattered all over England.”
“I am not related to anyone of importance,” Alice protested. “My dowry is a pittance, held by one of my uncles, but no one ever really expected me to marry.”
“From what you have said before, they worried that you would marry, by stealing their own daughters’ suitors.” Emma sniffed disdainfully, then folded her arms tightly across her chest. “Horrid relatives, all of them. If they were so concerned about it, they should have given you a proper coming-out and married you off first.”
The absurdity of that idea made Alice laugh through her tears, and soon Emma laughed too.
“Why are you a companion?” Alice asked when their mirth subsided. “I have never heard your story.”
“It is not interesting.” Emma glanced away, toward the windows. “My parents were friends with the duke and duchess, though untitled. I was an only child. My mother was expecting another child when they died. There was an accident. Their carriage overturned on a bridge.”
“I am sorry.” Alice’s heart squeezed in sympathy. “Were you very young?”
“I was ten years old.” Emma rubbed at her arms. “Lady Josephine and I are of a similar age. The duke and duchess took me in as a ward. I have an inheritance waiting for me. The funds will be released either when I wed or reach five and twenty, unmarried. The rest of what belonged to my father went to a cousin.”
The ducal family had taken Emma Arlen in out of the kindness of their hearts, and then they had given her a purpose. Alice twisted the handkerchief in her hands. “What would you do in my position?”
For a long moment, Emma stared out the window before returning her gaze to Alice. “You want to fall in love with Mr. Gardiner, don’t you?”
“But I cannot think we are suited—”
“Stop that.” Emma slid closer and took both of Alice’s hands. “You are suited. I have never seen a woman learn of his fascination with insects and then carry on a conversation about them with him.” A sliver of humor entered her tone. “The only thing that worries you, it seems, is the acceptance of others. Of what others may think. Mr. Gardiner is a grown man. Let him worry over that. Be honest. Tell him how you feel and what concerns you.”
Alice bit her lip and looked down at her father’s ring. “His family could object.”
“What is the worst thing that could happen, Alice?”
“The duke and duchess would find out, and think me a woman of poor morals, and send me packing.” Spoken so baldly, her fear rose more darkly before her. “Then what? What if my own family will not take me back? What if—”
Emma interrupted, sounding exasperated. “What if all our noses turn blue and fall off?”
Alice hiccoughed. “What?”
“You can sit here and wonder ‘what if’ all day, Alice Sharpe. But you will never know for certain until it happens. Until you try.” Emma squeezed her hands again. “Be brave, Alice.”
Alice lowered her chin. “I have spent all my life unwanted by my own family. How could Rupert want me?”
“Rupert sees the value in tiny creatures living in the garden. If anyone would recognize what a treasure you are, it would be someone like him.” Emma embraced Alice. “My dear friend, your family is foolish. Trust me when I tell you that. And do stop your crying. Come, show me what you will wear tomorrow to meet Mr. Gardiner. Or Rupert, I should say.”
Though her fears were still present, Alice quelled them as best she could. Together, they went to her room, and Alice withdrew the blue dress, made especially for her, and the loveliest thing she owned. If she had to be brave, she would dress well for the occasion.