“All right,” I replied, making a decision right there on the spot. “I’m going with.”
“Huh?”
“Not like, inside the house with you. But it’s a long drive—I’ll go with you. I’ll bring a book, so I can sit in the car while you talk to him.”
Rex appeared about to protest, but I grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the house before he could say a word. “Come on. Let’s get there before it gets dark.”
I already knew where Rex’s dad lived because I’d been to his house back when we were kids. Mav had brought us over for a Thanksgiving dinner, Rex’s dad being the governor at the time and living in the governor’s mansion, about a two-hour drive from the sanctuary. It had been an experience I really wouldn’t forget anytime soon. Once he went up to the Senate, he stayed in the same neighborhood but moved to a more modest house, a place I also visited for a Thanksgiving dinner one year.
“You sure?” Rex asked.
“Yeah, I’ve got nothing else to do. Besides, I’ll make sure you stay awake on the road.”
“Yeah, I’ve got a feeling what you’re planning on doing may just distract me as much as sleeping.”
I shrugged and said, “We’ll see.” He slapped my ass as I walked in front of him. I jumped and chuckled. We walked through the house and only spotted my sister, who had a mess of dog food bags in front of her and a chaotic group of wagging tails at her feet. We waved at her and quickly ducked out of the kitchen, heading toward the car. I didn’t want Rex to second-guess this, and with two hours ahead of us, there seemed to be plenty of time for second-guessing. The sooner we got to his dad’s, the better.
We got into the car Rex was renting, a tiny thing with rattling suspension and shaky wheels. For some reason, I started feeling nervous, and all I had to do was stay in the car the entire time. I wondered what Rex was thinking…
“When’s the last time you guys spoke?” I asked as Rex reversed the car.
“A couple months ago, when the first threat hit both our phones. He called me and sounded upset, but Sylvia snatched the phone and started shouting something, so I just hung up. That was the last time.”
“Okay… so… not great.”
“Nope.”
“Still, tonight’s going to be different. Just make sure Sylvia isn’t in the room. Or the house. Maybe even the state—can we make that happen?”
Rex laughed, a buzzing between his legs distracting both of us. The buzzing didn’t stop. It wasn’t just one text; it sounded like an avalanche of text messages. Rex mumbled a “what the fuck” under his breath as he parked the car and looked down.
“No…”
“What?” I sat up in my seat. “What’s going on?”
“Oh no.”
Rex’s face turned a sickly shade of pale. Any color in his cheeks instantly blanched. He furiously tapped at his phone screen. In a few seconds, a video filled the screen.
Then it was my turn to go pale, the blood draining out of my body in one fluid moment.
On Rex’s phone screen, in full color and sound, was the secret tape that had been filmed between him and the two other people. Rex stood there, naked and in full view, climbing onto the bed.
I had to look away. This was sickening. This invasion of privacy equaled a stab with a butcher knife straight through the chest. I looked to Rex, whose eyes were glued on the screen, his head slowly shaking back and forth.
“No, no, don’t watch. You don’t have to watch.” I tried reaching for the phone, my instincts shouting at me to do something. He snatched the phone away, staring, fixated on what was happening on the screen.
“Rex, please.”
“I’m done. It’s over. It’s out.”
“You aren’t done. Don’t ever think that. This is fucked-up, dark, and completely fucking unfair. Whoever taped this and leaked it deserves to rot in jail.”
“I—Jesus. Everyone’s going to see this, see me. And look at me. Look at how big I look.”
“Rex, stop that right now.” I tried turning his face so he looked in my eyes, but he kept staring down at his phone. “Rex, listen to me. You are literally fucking perfect. Everything about you. Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your humor, your pride, and yes, your weight. Everything is perfect. I wouldn’t change a single thing, and I don’t think anyone in their right mind would disagree with me. You can’t be the only one to hate yourself. It doesn’t do any good. Trust me.”
Please, please listen to what I’m saying.
I watched his face, tried to see if my words landed. All I could see was the reflection of the timeline he scrolled through on his phone.
“It’s already trending. The video’s already fucking trending.” Rex continued to scroll, and I really started to get scared. My words didn’t land. I could visibly see him shaking. This looked like a spiral. Like a car hydroplaning into a spike-filled ditch, no stopping it.
“Fuck. Fuck!” Rex slapped his hand against the steering wheel. Once, twice. Three slams. Four.
“Fuck!”
“Rex, calm down—Rex, listen to my voice. It’s okay.” I held on to his forearm, stopping him from hitting the wheel anymore.
“I thought it was done. After the tape wasn’t released with the last deadline I’d gotten. I started to even forget about it for a few seconds, but fuck, that’d be the longest I hadn’t thought about that tape since it fucking started. And now—fuck!”
He threw the car in drive and went forward the few feet back into the parking spot, braking hard. He snatched out the keys and got out of the car, slamming the door shut, leaving me in the weirdly silent car.
Fuck.
22
Rex Madison
My world fell apart the second I hit Play on the video. The image was clear, the sound as well. There I was, my body center in the camera, the New York skyline behind me, appearing like a set of eyes blinking with malice. Watching me the same way thousands would be watching me right now.
I left Benji behind and went straight for the guesthouse. My vision tunneled inward. Mia said something that didn’t quite register, and nothing Benji was saying behind me landed. All I could think of was that’s it. This is the day the guillotine dropped.
I went straight for the bathroom, dropped to my knees, and threw up. As if that would purge my body of the dread and doom that pushed at the very fibers of my being.
On the bathroom floor, my phone continued to play the video on a loop. It was short, relatively speaking, cutting off right before I noticed the camera and launched it against a wall.
I picked it up, and instead of turning it off, I watched. I sat on the bathroom floor and watched myself. Like morbidly watching a burning car wreck, my eyes glued themselves to the screen. Even though my hand shook, the image remained clear.
There I was. Naked, bare, violated.
And fuck… I looked huge. It made me somehow feel worse. I didn’t think it’d be possible to feel any worse, but I managed. My stomach turned into a pit of pure despair. I couldn’t take my eyes off the video, playing on a loop.
Even when my eyes filled with tears. When the screen blurred as if I was looking through dirty glasses. It didn’t matter. I could still the see the shape of me, feeding the shame that gnawed at my insides. How? How would I ever move on from this?