“This was such a great idea,” I said. The candle and lantern light threw a wide space of flickering orange light onto the peaceful scene, the full moon lighting up the rest. Electra and Canyon both stood next to their trees, seeming as relaxed as the two of us. A gentle, delicate spray from the nearby waterfall rose through the air, brushing over us like passing clouds.
“I need this. Needed you.”
“Whenever you need me, I’m here for you. Whenever.”
Rex pressed his soft lips against my forehead. He kissed me, the warmth in my body no longer focused on my come-filled ass. The heat exploded outward, and I felt carried up into space, as if I’d hopped on a hot-air balloon designed by NASA.
“You know,” Rex said, looking back up at the night sky, “I really did think that tape leaking would be the end of it for me. I thought it would just be game over.” Rex shook his head, turning to look into my eyes. “It wasn’t. Not at all. The people closest to me understand what happened, and anyone else who wants to judge can go fuck right off. It doesn’t matter. None of it does.”
It made me happy, listening to Rex regaining control.
“I feel like everything’s falling into place, even though earlier today it felt like it was all falling apart. I’ve got my relationship with my dad back, and I’ve got you, here, underneath another velvet midnight.”
I swallowed, remembering that star-covered Costa Rican sky.
Remembering how strongly I had felt for Rex, even back then, when it felt like such an impossibility. Sure, I had let myself drift into a hopeful dreamscape where we’d come back to Georgia and walk off hand in hand into the big gay rainbow sunset.
When I got that text, basically saying that I was a mistake to him, it shattered the dreamscape and brought me right back down to reality.
Well, at least what I assumed reality to be at the time.
It took out all the wind from my sails, and I had given up on any hope we would work. Once he moved to New York, I had figured it was dead and done. And, although I’d occasionally find myself drifting back into the colorful dreamscape, I never imagined that we’d be in this position, lying naked with each other underneath another velvet midnight, with plenty more seemingly lined up.
“Benji,” Rex said, in that tone that told me something big was coming around the corner. I sat up, perched on his chest, looking down into his sparkling blue eyes. They reflected some of the moonlight, casting a magical glow. “I love you.”
The words swirled in the air like a spell, almost knocking me out.
I blinked, speechless.
Rex kept going, barreling forward. “I do. I’m in love with you, Benji. You’ve taught me so much, not only about loving myself, but also about life, about taking a situation and turning it around, into something better, brighter. You always make me laugh, and you’re always running through my dreams. For six years, you never stopped visiting me in my dreams. I never imagined my dreams coming true, but they have. And I don’t ever want to lose you again.” He kissed me, shocking my heart back into beating. “I love you, Benjamin Gold. Like nothing else in this world.”
Not sure when, but at some point, I started to cry. I wiped at my tears, grateful for them. “These are happy tears,” I said, hoping to ease Rex’s worried expression.
“Rex, I fell in love with you from the moment we met. I can’t even explain it. But I was sure of it. Just like I’m sure of it, now. And you helped me reach the point where I can even feel love again. When you first got here, I wasn’t feeling anything at all. Everything was painted in shades of gray. I really did think I was supposed to live the rest of my life like that. Then I got sparks of color breaking through, all because of you. I started to remember how electrifying life actually felt, and I realized I wasn’t meant to live in the gray. I got the help I needed, and I can cry happy tears again. I love you, Rex. So freaking much.”
We kissed again, and I felt as if wings had sprouted from my shoulders. I shut my eyes and envisioned us drifting through the milky-white expanse of stars and moons and planets, swirling around comets and twirling underneath asteroids, holding hands as we flew through the rocky rings of Saturn, our souls joined as one while we explored the endless reaches of the universe.
That’s how it felt kissing Rex, professing my love to him underneath that velvet midnight. We had come such a long way from the lost and confused souls we met as. Maybe it all happened exactly as it was supposed to, then. Maybe no other path would have lead to this exact moment, a moment I would never forget, not for the rest of my life or for whatever came after.
“I love you,” I said again, against his lips, the words tasting as sweet as the elixir of life on my tongue.
“Forever,” Rex replied, a response that would indeed last us forever.
Epilogue
Two Years Later
My dad worked a crop circle into the beige carpet of the hotel room. His eyes were glued to the paper in his hands, his two aides sitting on the round table next to the window, scrolling through their phones for any last-minute updates. I sat on the couch with Benji, going over my speech one last time. I felt nervous, but unlike my dad, I found that I could contain it a little better.
Although my constantly bouncing leg would probably argue the opposite.
“One more time?” Benji asked, flipping the page over so we could start from the beginning.
I shook my head. “No, I think I’ve got it.”
“I’m sure you do.”
I leaned in for a reassuring kiss. I never got tired of Benji’s kisses. We could be on a sinking submarine, heading down to the ocean floor, and just one kiss from Benji would float us right back up to the surface. He was my everything, and I felt like the luckiest guy in the world whenever his lips were on mine.
Today was no different.
Well, maybe it was a little different.
“Dad, how ya feeling?” I looked to my father, who wore a sharp suit, his pants pressed and his light blue shirt ironed to within a thread of its life.
“I’m feeling all right. These things always give me the heebie-jeebies.”
“I think you might be the only one who still says heebie-jeebies.”
“Sorry, sorry. What’s the trending phrase, then? Jeebie-heebies?”
Benji and I both laughed. “Yeah, sure, go with that.”
My dad gave a sarcastic smile and got back to looking at the sheet of paper. A cool spring breeze floated in through the open windows, the bird of paradise plant next to the couch rustling in the wind.
“How ’bout you?” I asked, turning my attention to my boyfriend. He looked so fucking handsome today (and every day for that matter). The dark blue shirt he wore made his light eyes pop, and his fresh fade haircut made his strong brows and jaw even more prominent, drawing my eyes to his perfect lips.
Those lips curled into a soft smile. “I’m not the one who’s about to be onstage.”
That’s what you think.
“And your test?” I asked, keeping my thoughts to myself. I focused on keeping my leg still. My nerves felt frayed, and it wasn’t just because I was supposed to take the stage with my dad today at the GLAAD Awards. Although that in itself was nerve-racking as all fuck, especially thinking about all the big names in the crowd and all the people watching at home. But there was something even bigger on the horizon that kept my heart hammering against my ribs like a caged hummingbird.