“And soccer.”
Rex smiled. Damn it. “And soccer.” We started walking toward the building we were staying in. The builders had been so concerned about the forest around the area that they even constructed the house around two trees, instead of taking them down, which meant that there was one massive tree trunk in the living room and another through the kitchen.
I freaking loved it.
The rooftop garden was probably my favorite part. It attracted all kinds of crazy cool wildlife. I’d sat there for fifteen minutes tops earlier in the day and counted about four different species of monkey and ten different kinds of reptiles, from colorful geckos to harmless snakes. And the birds, holy crap the birds, they were everywhere, and their songs added a permanent relaxation soundtrack that promised me some bomb-ass naps later.
“We should play tomorrow,” Rex said. We stopped on the stairs leading up into the house. For it being December, the air felt warm and thick with humidity.
“I’m down,” I said.
“You’re gonna have to go easy, though. Running isn’t my favorite thing to do.” Rex rubbed the back of his head and chuckled, a move that lifted his shirt and showed a peek of skin. Thankfully, it was pretty dark out here, so this time my blush stayed hidden.
“I’ll keep it easy.”
“Okay, good.” Rex leaned on the white wooden railing. “You know, Benji, I’m really proud of you. I remember meeting you and you were like a little twig. I thought the wind would blow too hard and we’d have to tape you back together. But you’ve really worked hard, and it shows. Watching you run like lightning down a field is crazy and really fucking inspiring.”
The moonlight broke through some of the dense canopy, shining like a spotlight on those ocean blues of his.
…
Damn. He left me speechless.
Get it together. Brother’s best friend. Straight. Unavailable.
That jolted some words back into my head. “You’re really fucking inspiring.” Those weren’t the words that had landed in my head.
“Really? Nah, I don’t think so.”
There was a sense of sudden defeat in his tone, which caught me off guard. Rex always dripped in confidence. He was the kind of guy who rarely ever admitted defeat until there wasn’t a choice. I’d watched him work his ass off at our house, studying for months at the dining room table. Even on days I could tell were heavy on him, he always powered through. And he scored in the top 5 percent of all LSAT takers, which opened up a shit-ton of doors for him.
“You’re in a top law school, working your way up to be a big-shot attorney, and you make some kick-ass waffles. You’ve got plenty that inspires me.”
Way more than I just listed actually.
Rex put a hand on his stomach, his gaze dropping. “Law school isn’t exactly going great, and, well, the waffles may be part of the bigger problem, if you know what I mean.”
I knew what he meant, and I hated to see it affecting him so much. Rex was bigger than the average guy, but that didn’t mean anything besides the fact that his genes had him holding on to some extra weight than others. I was a witness to it. I probably inhaled double the amount of food Rex would eat, and yet my physique had stayed similar, only fluctuating from skinny to muscular. And it wasn’t like Rex would be considered unhealthy or dangerously overweight by any means.
“Rex, you shouldn’t have to worry about that. You’re perfect the way you are.” Okay, pump the brakes before I tell him I love him and am carrying two of his children. “You look good, and I don’t think there’s a problem with your weight at all.”
“Thanks, Benj.” His smile almost knocked me off my feet. “That means a lot. Sometimes, all I hear is the negative stuff, even if it’s just me saying them and not my lovely stepmother saying them.”
“Don’t listen to her. Or anyone else who has shit to say. It’s just them pushing their own crap on you, and you don’t have to take it.”
“Damn, look at you, a sports star and a star therapist.”
“You got a two-for-one deal, tonight.”
“Not bad.”
Was he moving closer to—yup, he was moving closer to me. Like really close. Like I could feel his breath on me close.
“Can I?” he asked. And I knew what he wanted. I wanted it, too.
I nodded, and that was all it took. He leaned in, and he kissed me, and it felt like my first ever kiss all over again. A rush of emotions almost carried me away into the tide. His lips felt so good against mine, his hand falling onto mine on the rail. Somewhere in the distance, a monkey howled as if cheering us on.
We broke apart when we heard the crunch of rocks from around the bend in the trail, along with the voices of the rest of the family. They turned the corner in the next moment, Dusty spotting me first, waving.
Again, it being dark helped hide how red my cheeks felt and how wet I was sure my lips looked. No one asked why the two of us were hanging out awkwardly on the steps up to the house, and no one asked why I stayed mostly silent for the rest of the night. Rex had gone straight to bed, which left me mostly wondering if that was the only thing “straight” about Rex after all.
6
Rex Madison
The clatter of dishes and the smell of soap was nice. It helped keep me from obsessively checking my phone every other five minutes, wondering if and when and how the video would leak. Would it be through a free porn website, or would someone have set up some paywall so they could profit off my stolen moment of intimacy— No. Focus on the tower of dishes that needed washing, not on the guillotine hanging over my head by a single little thread.
“You really don’t have to do this,” Mia said at my side, her auburn hair tied up in a messy bun.
“Trust me, I do.” I handed down another washed plate. Mia passed it to Benji, who had a drying station set up down the counter. “You’ve all been so kind in letting me stay here. It’s the least I can do.”
I’d been at the Gold Sanctuary for about two weeks now, and I felt eternally grateful to Mia and Ashley for letting me stay. I had made some fucked-up turns in life, but Mia, Ashley, and the rest of the Golds had always been there to right those turns since I was a sixteen-year-old kid.
Now, at twenty-six, as a law school dropout with a nearly zero balance bank account and a rising mountain of credit card debt made worse by the abandonment of my own father, I had found myself really turned around. So turned around I might as well have been staring at my own fucking ass.
“You’re always welcome here, Rex.” Mia gave me a warm rub between the shoulders before going back to drying the cups.
In through the doggy door bolted Penelope, the golden retriever, with Tammy bouncing close behind her, nipping playfully at the golden’s tail. When Tammy realized I was in the room, she came straight to me, cheerily chirping and standing up on her hind legs, the entire length of her long body reaching up to my thigh.
“It’s incredible to me how well she remembers you,” Mia said, watching as I gave my favorite otter some head scratches. Benji watched, too, a thin smile on his lips.
This sucked. Not the otter pets, but the awkward energy that simmered between the two of us. I hated it as much as I hated the situation I found myself in. Benji had too nice of a smile to keep hidden.