“I guess fate had plans for us.” He smiled and I suddenly recognized his face from the previous week. “I’m Luca, good to see you again, Anabel.”
PRESENT DAY
Chapter 3
Luca
“Luca, we got a problem.”
“Then it’s a good thing that I’m a fixer.” I looked over at Giorgio, his face red and sweaty. He looked as though he’d been running, and I picked up the box of tissues on my desk and threw it at him. “Take care of yourself. You look disgusting.” I watched as he grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped away the sweat from his face. “What’s the problem? Why do you look like you’ve just been running a marathon? Do I need to get you a trainer?” Giorgio glared at me as he got his breathing under control.
“Boss, I’ve just been running the last ten minutes to talk to you,” he explained. “We got a serious problem.”
“How serious?” I wasn’t nervous or apprehensive about what he had to say. Giorgio was a worrier, that was his job. I was the boss, a fixer, that was my job. There was no problem so big that I couldn’t take care of it. I smiled at him, almost relishing the idea of having someone else to quash or take care of. It had been too long since I’d had any real problems to take care of. I was about to prod him again when the song playing on my sound system changed. I listened to it for a few seconds and then frowned, entranced and taken away by Ol’ Blue eyes.
“The Way You Look Tonight.” That was the name of the song playing. The familiar dulcet tones of Frank Sinatra flooded the speakers in my office. As he crooned, I could see the silhouette of her figure in the corner of my office, slim, innocent, a flimsy piece of red silk covering her body. Her eyes were apprehensive, seeking my approval, a hesitant smile rested on her lips, her fingers curling through her hair nervously. We both just stared at each other as the song played and I started singing, walking toward her with lust in my eyes. “‘The Way You Look Tonight’ was originally performed by Fred Astaire in Swing Time, have you seen that movie?” she’d asked me as she’d taken a step back, her eyes wide and beguiling.
“No, I’ve never seen it.” My response came with a small smile, my hands on her waist pulling her to me.
“Let’s watch it tonight,” she’d whispered against my lips. It had been the first black and white movie I’d ever watched. Though, if I was honest, I’d paid more attention to the way she’d stroked my chest than the movie. “Your heart is racing.” She’d grinned up at me from her perch on my shoulder.
“It’s the way you look tonight that has my heart racing so fast.”
“You’re so corny.” She’d rolled her eyes, but I could see the pleasure lurking in their depths. I shook my head to gather my thoughts as the visions of her faded. I clenched my fist. These visions had to stop. I’d been thinking about Anabel nonstop ever since I’d recently seen her in Miami.
“Luca, are you listening to me?” Giorgio cleared his throat. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I glared at him. “What’s up?”
“Mario told me that the DEA is on our tails. We need to be careful. They’re watching us closely,” Giorgio continued on as though I wasn’t paying attention to him. I blinked at the sound of his voice and banished her memory from my mind.
“What?” I could feel my heart racing at the memory. It had felt so real. I could still picture her. I took a deep breath to still my racing heart. There was no point in thinking about the past anymore. Emotions and hearts had nothing to do with my life anymore.
“We got to take care of the problem before it causes us a problem,” Giorgio continued. “I can put some guys on the case. Have them do some digging around, question some people, see what’s up.”
“Yeah, do that.”
“You okay, Luca? You look a bit beat.”
Giorgio’s voice annoyed me and I turned away from him to look out of the window. I touched the dark red velvet curtain and pulled it to the side. I could feel my heart still racing and I frowned. My heartbeat reminded me that I was a mere mortal. Someone that could be hurt and wounded and I was pissed. I had banished emotions a long time ago. I vowed years ago to never let love or emotions be one of my weaknesses.
But there’s something about a rapidly beating heart that reminds you that you’re human. The only thing is now when I feel emotional, all I want to do is make it stop. A heartbeat reminds you of your own mortality and fragility. It reminds you that you can be hurt. Other people that you have no control over can hurt you. A heart is a weakness for those that are stupid enough to love. There’s a train station, down near Times Square, I won’t say which one, but sometimes I stand in the corner near one of the exits and I just watch people. There’s something in the art of watching random people that helps you to feel power and strength. When you watch people, you see the innocence and fragility that afflict all humans. I see their loneliness and I feed on it. I love being alone in a crowd of people I don’t know. I love watching people, judging them without them having a clue they’re being watched.
They’re all the same. Every single one of them. The older women clutch their bags to their sides if anyone comes too close to them, scared that they will be overpowered, looking to the man, if they’re with one, to protect them. The younger girls bounce their hair and look around to see if anyone has noticed their beauty and is giving them the attention they want, needing to feel attractive to someone. The men, of all ages, pull out their wallets and count out their cash, hoping someone will be impressed by the fat stack of ones they have enveloped by hundreds or twenties; needing to feel like they are alpha in someone’s eyes. They aren’t. Not like me. Until you can kill a man for doing you wrong, you can’t claim to be an alpha anything. The tourists cluelessly gaze at their phones and maps asking for their backpacks to be unzipped and stolen from. Everyone thinks they play a role in public. But when they think no one’s watching, they let their guard down. And when their guard is down, all of their vulnerabilities are on display. And that is what men like me feed off. In those moments, when I’m just a random man standing in the corner of the room, I can see into their souls. I can see who they really are. And I can tell that they’re all just scared little puppies hoping to be accepted and loved.
It’s fun watching people. It’s an exercise in patience and humility. When you watch people, you try to be invisible, blending into the crowd so that no one pays attention to you. There’s the odd moment when someone will catch my eye and give me a smile, but when I don’t acknowledge them, they always look away quickly, embarrassed and unnerved. That’s how you can unbalance someone without saying a word. Don’t even acknowledge them. My grandfather always told me that to be successful in our business, you need to know people. And to know them, you need to study them. You need to know how they think, how they feel, how they react and you need to be an actor. You need to make people believe whatever you want them to believe about you, without you ever having to say a word. And I learned how to become the best actor there was. I could make anyone believe anything I wanted them to, until it came to her. She made me believe I had a heart. She made me love and then she left and every good part of me left as well.