With shaky hands, I grab a fluffy jacket that looks way too small to even fit me and frantically wipe the water from my body. Rapidly, I collect the leggings from the pile and step into them. Dragging them up my legs is a nightmare. They’re tight and the fabric glues to my skin from not drying myself enough.
Fighting the damn thing, I get it halfway up my thighs, when the snap of wood has me twisting my head around.
In the doorway, Bardhyl and Lucien are caught frozen, the wind whipping against them, blowing their hair over their faces. They’re holding large branches covered in leaves, seeming to have forgotten they’re getting wet as they stare at me.
“Hurry up,” I tell them as I wrestle to heave the pants up and over my ass.
Hastily, I pull the tee over my head and down my arms, then I tug it down over my stomach and turn around.
“You didn’t need to rush for us,” Lucien adds as he and Bardhyl layer the cave opening with half a dozen branches in a crisscross fashion from inside the cave. They’ve also managed to bring in several large rocks for use at the base of their structure. Branches are sticking against the narrow sides of the enclosure, bent and shoved into place.
There are still some gaps here and there in the layers of branches, but instantly, I feel the change in the fading cold. With the fire crackling, this cave will be cozy soon enough.
“And we left a small opening here,” Bardhyl states, pointing to the base of the structure near the edge of the exit. “For toilet breaks.”
Speaking of which, I step forward for just that. “This looks great. Thanks. I have some dry clothes for you in the back to change into.” I peer outside through the holes in the covering to where night falls over the landscape and the rain has eased to trickling.
“I’ll be right back. Toilet break.” I rush outside and don’t steer too far, but it’s freezing out here, and the rain catches me just as I push back inside through the gap.
“It’s going to be a chilly night,” I say as I straighten, but my voice flatlines.
My eyes land on both men standing on either side of the fire, butt naked, glancing my way with smirks.
“Careful. Before you burn something precious,” I tease as I wander closer to chase away the cold clinging to me.
Neither of them move from the blaze, and I join them, stretching my hands out to warm them up. “So, what’s the plan?” I ask, fighting the urge to lower my gaze over both of them. “Food.”
“Getting stripped firstly,” Lucien answers swiftly, grinning at me, and I feel Bardhyl’s gaze on me, both like wolves in waiting for the perfect moment to strike their prey.
I laugh, mostly for show. “So you saw a bit of ass and that’s got you both hot and bothered already?”
“Do you need any other reason?” Bardhyl asks, and he’s being serious.
I roll my eyes at them, even if on the inside, I’m extremely impressed and slightly turned on by their eagerness. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”
They don’t even hesitate and jump into getting dressed, both of them in loose shorts, and shirts a size too small. “Fine, food first, then stripping,” Lucien reiterates.
Bardhyl is bringing out food from the bag. The white tee he wears forms across all those hard planes and muscles. Damn, he is toned. Lucien strolls over to me as he tugs on a long-sleeved tee the color of a sunset. The fabric is tight and also hugs every contour. He stands over me and pushes loose dark strands of hair off my face, while I can only think of how gorgeous he looks. Clearly, I’m unable to form thoughts that don’t concern me picturing them naked again, muscles flexing, and me all over them.
“Sounds like a plan,” Bardhyl begins. “Food first. Take a seat and we’ll join you.”
I eye him as he blows me a kiss and goes to assist Bardhyl. I’m beyond exhausted, and I might fall asleep while eating.
Soon enough, I find myself sitting cross-legged on the blanket, the fire warming me up, and my two men joining me. We’re having a mini picnic of crackers, cheese, and dried meat, served with fruit chutney. The small salad of tomatoes and cucumbers I roughly chopped at Kinley’s is on offer, along with a large slice of fruit cake. This is the biggest feast I’ve ever had while on the run… which has been most of my life.
“Enjoy,” Lucien says as he reaches for a piece of the meat. “It’s no roast pig, but it will do. And it’s more than what Dušan will have to eat tonight.”
I lower my head and send my thoughts to Dušan, praying that he’s safe and we’ll save him hopefully tomorrow. Glancing at Bardhyl and Lucien, all three of us sitting in a semi-circle around the food, I notice they also have their heads low, praying for their Alpha.
When we start eating, no one says a word, and my reason has to do with the sheer hunger I’m drowning under. I help myself to everything, except for the cake. I rarely get to taste such a delicacy, so I’m saving it for dessert.
“After I kill that fucking asshole, Mad,” Bardhyl starts with a mouthful, then he swallows it, “I am cooking up my famous Viking stew for you. Three kinds of meat, potatoes and carrots, plus spices that will warm your insides. You will love my cooking.”
“You’re making me hungry while I’m eating. Is it a family recipe?” I create a stack of cheese, meat, and cucumber slices in my hand.
“A dish my father made for us growing up. I loved his saying that it made even the Berserkers stronger in battle. So of course, I’d insist on having three bowlfuls.”
Lucien pushes a large slice of tomato into his mouth. “When I grew up, my dad would always tell me to love without strings attached. He helped around the house, always went out on hunts, so he didn’t quite say those words, but rather showed it in his actions. In the way he aided others in need, how he worshipped the ground my mother walked on.”
“He sounds like a romantic,” I muse, unable to pause my thoughts drifting to the father who bailed out on Mama and me, who was too afraid to stay behind and look after us.
I can’t protect either of you, he’d shout. Meira is weak because of me. She’ll always be an outcast. He’s human and couldn’t live with himself, so it was easier to be gutless and run away than stay with us to make it work. I clench my teeth. Even after all these years, I struggle to forgive him, and part of me blames him for Mama’s death. If he’d stayed and helped, maybe we would have been staying somewhere else and the Shadow Monsters would never have killed her.
My eyes prick, and I hate how quickly he still affects me, but it’s not him I’ve cried for. It’s losing Mama. I lower my head, pretending to stare at the spread of food as I blink away the tears. Don’t live with the past, my mother said to me. Always look forward.
“That he was.” Lucien nods, breaking my concentration, and it takes me moments to remember what he is referring to.
I breathe heavily and push aside the thoughts of my past as I can’t do anything about what’s happened, but I can control my steps forward. I found three men I will never abandon no matter what.
We eat with only the company of the crackling fire. It’s only when I look up at each of the men that I recognize the expressions they wear as their thoughts drift miles away. Lost in their past. After all, it’s all we all have left in this broken world that takes and takes from us. Luckily I have them in my life now, which wasn’t always the case. Those are memories no one can erase, so what we have left, we cherish.