A sudden realization had Mary saying, “There was no man who questioned my safety and brought you to Magnus. It was you. That is why you never answered me when I asked you the man’s identity.”
“I had no choice but to get you out of where you were.”
“You knew where I was all these years?”
“Of course,” he said. “It was the only way of making certain you remained safe. I knew Magnus could protect you for the time being, but there would come a time he could not.”
“And that time came?”
“Church leaders insisted that you be found, fearing that you had matured and would begin spreading your father’s teachings. They wanted you purged of your sins, which meant they wanted you dead.”
“You convinced them you could reform me?”
“The Church edict forced me to look at other ways of assuring your safety. If you were my wife, no one could touch you. I feared that no matter where I sent you, you might be found, whereas if you remained by my side you would forever be protected.”
“But why rescue me if you intended to marry me all along?”
“The Church made mention of your name as a possible problem. That was when I informed Magnus that you were in trouble. I thought he would move you until I determined the Church leaders’ intentions. Unfortunately Magnus had his own problems, leaving me no choice but to see to you myself.”
“You found out the Church wanted me dead after we were together?”
“Just before I rescued you, and by then I had promised Magnus I would see you safe. I had not yet decided to make you my wife.”
“When did you decide?” she asked.
“Why would be a better question. I attempted to convince myself it was for your benefit, but it was for a selfish reason.” He squeezed her hands tightly, afraid to let go. “I fell in love with you. You released me from the darkness and shed light on my isolation. I began to feel again, to remember what it was to love.”
She eased her hand out of his and reached out slowly, hesitated then finally touched his face. “I know you and yet I do not. I know Michael is there inside you, but when I look upon you I see Decimus, the man who I have hated these many years.”
Her hand did not remain long upon him and he ached at the loss of her touch. “I could not chance you knowing who I was. I had to make certain you thought me repulsive, evil, and not to be trusted. Even now you look at me with doubt.”
“You did not trust me to know your true identity?” she asked sadly.
“After a while I feared for you to learn of my true identity.” He sighed heavily and shook his head. “I have warred with my feelings for you. Do I tell you? Do I not? Is it safe for you to know? Would you love Decimus as much as you love Michael? I feared losing your love.”
Mary stared at him, uncertain of who he was. “It is difficult for me to accept that Decimus and Michael are one and the same. Decimus hunted me while Michael saved me and loved me. How do I bring the two of you together?”
Decimus gently cupped her face with his hand. “With love?”
Tears slowly slipped down her cheek.
He moved his hand to rest on her flat belly. “Love for us both?”
“Oh, Michael,” she cried and rested her forehead on his. Mary closed her eyes and trailed his face with soft kisses until she found his lips and then she kissed the man she loved, the man who owned her heart and soul.
He took her face in his hands and returned her kisses. “I love you, Mary. God, I love you so very much that it hurts.”
She kept her eyes closed. “You are not alone anymore, never fear losing my love, it is forever. It will take me time to grow accustomed to your face—”
“Not too long, please?” He sounded as though her words pained him. “I want to love you in the light so that we may look upon each other.”
“It will take time. Michael is whom I trust and love. I must learn to trust and love Decimus. I see you as the same, but it is difficult to comprehend. . . . With time—”
“We do not have much time.”
She opened her eyes and tried to keep firm in her mind that it was Michael she spoke with, no matter that it was Decimus she looked upon.
“We have the rest of our lives together.”
“Nay, Mary,” he said sadly.
Her heart quickened and her stomach fluttered. “What do you mean?”
“You carry our child and I will not see either of you in danger.” He squeezed both her hands in his. “I will make plans for your escape, then see you settled in a safe place—away from me.”
Chapter 31
“Send me and your child away?” Mary asked, stunned. “You cannot mean it.”
“I will see you and my child safe,” Decimus insisted.
“Without a husband and father?”
He stood and looked down on his tearful wife with a pained heart. “You think I want this? You think that I do not want to be there with you when you give birth to my child? That I do not want to watch him grow? That I do not want a life with you and him?”
Mary stood and took a step toward him then stopped, staring at him.
Her hesitancy hurt but he understood it. She felt safe with Michael, not with Decimus. He stretched his hand out to her, giving her a choice.
She waited but a moment, staring at him, and then allowed her eyes to drift shut as she reached out and took hold of his hand.
He pulled her close, wrapping her in a tight embrace. She felt so very good, the warmth of her, the strength of her; he wanted to hold her to him forever, to never part, always love . . .
But that was not meant to be.
She looked at him with sorrowful eyes. “We can do this together, you, me, and the babe.”
He gave her a gentle kiss. “How I wish that were possible. But look at where you now temporarily reside—in the Fortress of Hell. It is no place for you and it is definitely no place for our child. And I will not have you spend your life in service to me.”
She had to smile. “You seemed to enjoy convincing me otherwise.”
“I had the perfect excuse,” he said with what appeared a hint of a smile.
Mary had never seen Decimus smile; she did not think him capable. The thought that she had touched his heart, and it had begun to heal, touched her own heart.
“You needed to think badly of me,” he continued. “I treated you poorly so that you would hate me.”
“You could have trusted me and confessed the truth.”
“It was not you who I did not trust—it was me.”
She looked at him confused.
“It would not have been easy to keep up the charade if we both were aware. My heart would have betrayed me. And as for you? From the very first time we met, you looked at Decimus with disgust. If you had known I was the Dark One, would you have looked at me the same?”
She was about to debate the issue with him but thought better of it. “You are right. My eyes would have spoken the truth no matter how hard I attempted to hide my love for you.”
“Then you see why it is impossible for you to remain here as my wife. It will be more difficult for you to hide your feelings toward me, and knowing my true identity could place both of us, and our child, in jeopardy.”