Nobody preferred me. Ever.
I was two seconds away from crying, which was ridiculous.
“Besides, it’s your fault that I’m in this position, so it’s only fair that you be the one to get me out of it.”
“Uh-oh,” I said, the cryptic wording distracting me from my impending tears.
“You know Erica and I broke up.”
“Who?”
Adam half smiled at my feigned ignorance. “What you don’t know is that we broke up right before winter formal.”
“Uh-oh.” If I wasn’t feeling so uncomfortable, I might have had some other feelings at the direction his words were heading.
“Only if you turn me down.”
“Are you asking?”
“Yes.”
“Ask me for real. Like in a complete sentence.”
He didn’t hesitate. “Jolene, will you go to winter formal with me?”
For a tiny split second, the cramping knives in my belly turned to feathers tickling up through me. “When is it? The actual date?” If it fell on a Dad weekend, I’d probably need a court order.
“January 22.”
Not a Dad weekend.
“Are you going to wear a suit?”
“Yes.”
“Will I get to meet your mom?”
“If she drives us.”
“She thinks we’re a couple though, doesn’t she?”
Adam flushed red and cleared his throat. “Um, she sort of knows about the whole fake-picture thing.”
“Honestly, I’m surprised you made it this long before telling her. You’re kind of a mama’s boy, Adam.”
“It just came up. She still likes seeing the pictures of us even if we’re just...whatever.”
“Just whatever?” I batted my eyelashes at him. “This is officially the most romantic way a boy’s ever asked me to a dance.”
His flush began to recede. “I was trying to say that my mom’s not going to expect me to maul you in front of her if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“So we’re clear, I’m going to pass on the mauling entirely even when she’s not watching.”
Adam started to smile. “That sounds like a yes...”
“Because it is.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ll go with you.”
Adam grinned full out, sending warmth humming through me.
“You look surprised.”
“I figured you’d say no.”
“Adam, how many times do I have to tell you, I’m only a little embarrassed to be seen in public with you. Plus the dance is going to be at night, so...”
“Be sure to say stuff like that to my mom. She’ll think you’re more of an angel than she already does.”
“That’s a new one for me.”
“To be clear, angel is the word she uses because she hasn’t met you.”
“And what word would you use?”
“Jolene.”
“Hmm.” The way he said my name, all slow and confident, made me shiver in such a delicious way.
“So back to the dance. Maybe a little mauling?”
“That’s a firm no.”
“Wait till you see my suit,” he said, stretching and folding his arms behind his head. “We’ll see who wants a little mauling then.”
“Wait till you see my dress,” I said. “They put sharks on anything these days.”
ADAM
The suit I owned was too small, like the-pants-were-halfway-up-my-calves too small.
I slid into the hallway to show Mom on Sunday night. “That’s not gonna work,” she said. “You’ll freeze to death.”
I extended my arms stiffly at my sides. The fabric was so tight that when I tried to bend my elbow, the seams started to pop. “Yeah, that’s the problem with this suit. It’s not warm enough.”
“I didn’t think you’d grown this much. Jeremy can still wear his suit from your cousin Becky’s wedding.”
“Jeremy could still wear his footed pajamas if he didn’t care about zipping them up.”
Mom looked up at me from where she’d been checking the hem of my pants. “I wish you wouldn’t say things like that about your brother. He’s sensitive about his height. Please try.”
Mom had this way of making me feel like I’d just gotten caught burning our photo albums or something when she used that tone. It was so laden with hurt and disappointment that I probably would have hugged Jeremy in front of her if he’d been around instead of at a last-minute play rehearsal at somebody’s house. I was supposed to be making her feel better, not worse. I mumbled an apology and a request to go remove the ridiculously ill-fitting suit.
“Wait. Wait.” Mom popped into my room and came back carrying my phone. “Tell me how to take a photo so we can send it to Jolene.”
I looked down at myself. I’d somehow gotten the pants up, but the jacket wouldn’t close and the overall impression was that of the Hulk mid-transformation. “Ah, no?” I said. “I will not be doing that. That’s a horrible idea.”
“She’ll love it.”
She would, just not in the way I wanted. “You only know Jolene from cute pictures. Real-life Jolene would never stop laughing if she saw this.”
“Whoops!” Mom said as my phone made the sound that indicated a photo had been taken.
She let me take the phone from her and I quickly deleted the photo, noticing as I did that Mom’s smile dimmed.
“If your dad had sent me a picture like this when we were young, I would have thought it was adorable.”
I stopped trying to tug the constricting jacket off my shoulders with the limited range of motion it allowed. Every time she brought up Dad like nothing had changed, it was like a mosquito buzzing around my ear. Normally, I mentally swatted it away as an easily ignored annoyance, but I couldn’t dismiss the somewhat dreamy look that slipped onto her face at the mention of Dad.
We were standing in the upstairs hallway, the doors to all the bedrooms surrounding us—mine, Jeremy’s, hers and Dad’s. Greg’s. Our family used to sleep on the same floor, in the same house. Now we didn’t eat in the same city, much less at the same table. I was the one who didn’t get why, and I got it even less when she mentioned Dad with such easy longing. Dad did it sometimes, too—more than someone who had amicably split from his wife should. If they couldn’t stand each other or fought or were even indifferent, I’d understand. I wouldn’t agree or accept it, but I’d understand why they were living apart.