“I feel like…” I swallowed hard, pulling his helmet off of my head. “I feel like his death was too easy.”
He straightened, his shoulders going back as he processed my words.
I shook my head immediately.
“I didn’t mean that,” I blurted.
He tilted his head sideways as he said, “It was too easy.”
My shoulders slumped.
“He ruined my life,” my voice rasped out of my throat. “He got off easy. His life was forfeit. So what? I have to live the rest of my life without my dad. He can’t walk me down the aisle when I get married. He can’t go to my graduation. He can’t hold my first child. Hell, my child will only have one set of grandparents!”
He didn’t say anything.
I rubbed my face with my one free hand that wasn’t holding the helmet and started to pace next to his bike.
“The man who killed my mom got four years in prison, with the possibility of parole at two. And a ten-thousand-dollar fine,” I found myself saying. “He can possibly be out next month.”
I lightly tapped the tire of the motorcycle with the toe of my bright yellow Keds.
“He lives in Kilgore, did you know?” I continued, not expecting an answer. “He has a wife and three kids.” I started pacing again. “I actually feel sorry for him. He killed my mother and I feel sorry for him.”
Derek hung the gas pump nozzle back up, and I took that as my cue to get my ass back on the bike.
I did so, situating my helmet on my head as he mounted the bike in front of me.
He didn’t say a word until we were almost all the way back in Kilgore.
“Are you hungry yet?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever be hungry again.
“No,” I said loudly enough so that he could hear it over his bike. “Take me home.”
And that was exactly what he did.
When I walked into my house later, I looked at it with new eyes.
The house wasn’t mine anymore.
I needed to pack up all of the stuff, but like their vehicles, I just couldn’t talk myself into touching their things.
Touching their things felt wrong on so many levels.
But it had to be done.
I’d been beating around the bush for too long.
Getting it done was what needed to happen, and it was time.
Chapter 6
Roses are red, I’m going to bed.
-T-shirt
Derek
“I think this is something that we should do for her,” I found myself saying. “I read up on the pension that she would’ve gotten had she been eighteen. I think that we need to talk to the board and see if we can get them to give it to her anyway. She’s a year over being eighteen now. And, technically, at the time of her father’s death, she was eighteen still.”
I’d read up on the bylaws of the pension disbursement to children of deceased officers, and if the child was under the age of eighteen and still going to school, they could receive seventy-five percent of the father’s pension until they turned eighteen. Then, if they continued to go to school for continuing education, they could continue to receive the benefits up until the age of twenty-five.
“She missed the mark and they’re not even looking at her for benefits,” I continued.
My dad looked pissed.
“Let me handle that,” he said as he looked at the paperwork I’d handed him. “In the meantime, the money that we raised for her for college, we can give that to her.”
Originally that money had been promised as a college fund for Avery. But it seemed like it would help her out more right now than it would in a half a year.
With any luck, she’d be getting free college anyway with having such a low income as well as two deceased police officer parents. She could qualify for quite a few student grants, as well as federal grants.
She wouldn’t need the money raised for her then.
But now she did.
“I’ll talk to the board that’s handling all of that, too,” Dad said as he placed the papers down. “This isn’t how we treat our fallen officers’ kids. I’m gonna put a call into LPD to talk to their chief about what they can do from their end as well. We’re not gonna leave her behind.”
I nodded, feeling a huge weight lift off my chest at hearing his acceptance.
“I’m going to get her into the duplex next to Dax that Rowen used to rent,” I told him. “I already talked to Rowen. She’s down since she and Dax are already living together anyway. Dax was super down since he’d been trying to get her to move her shit anyway. Not sure what she was thinking, other than she liked all the extra room. But she has no reason not to move in now that she’s married. And she loves Avery. She has no problem giving it up to her.”
Dad sat back in the chair and rubbed his face.
“That kid just doesn’t have the best luck, does she?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“No,” I told him. “And I organized a moving party for next weekend. I’m going to go over this week and help her box her shit up. Half the SWAT team is going to be helping move her once we’re done.”
Dad grinned at that.
“Perfect,” he said. “Is there anything you need?”
I thought about that for a long few seconds before saying, “She went to the Cascades to rent an apartment.”
Dad stiffened.
“I think you may need to talk her into staying at the duplexes,” I continued.
Dad grinned at that.
“I’ll do that,” he said. “When she gets off of school.”
I nodded once.
“She has to be out of that house by the end of the month. I was able to convince Gordon to give her that time,” I continued. “But that’s still only a couple weeks away. It’s going to be tight, but I think that if she’s on board with the duplexes, everything will be better.”
He was nodding his head as there was a hesitant knock on my door.
I looked over at it, wondering who the fuck that could be so early in the morning, and looked back at my dad.
He shrugged as well and went to refill his coffee as I went to answer the door.
I would’ve expected a whole lot of things as I answered the door, but the woman on the other side of it was not it.
“Avery…” I said as I looked at her.
She looked exhausted.
She blew some hair out of her eyes with her mouth and looked down at the bundle of sheets and blankets that was in her arms.
“Can I come in?” she asked, looking around nervously.
I found myself stepping back and allowing her entry without a second thought.
Dax, who was on the front porch of his own duplex across the street, looked at me curiously.
I shrugged and closed the door, turning to find Avery standing just inside my entryway, looking as if she was going to go no further.
“I started going through my parents’ room yesterday,” she said, pausing when my dad entered from the kitchen. She didn’t stop her explanation, though. “I didn’t know who to bring these to.”