Or… at least I wanted to be. Pretty badly, actually.
But it was like the moment that I told her I wanted something more, she backed off as if she was protecting herself from where we might lead.
The receptionist smiled at that and led me to an exam room.
“The doctor will be in to see y’all in a few,” she said.
I walked right in, my brow lifting in surprise when I saw Avery’s face.
“Derek!” she said, standing up quickly.
Her excitement to see me seemed like a good sign.
But looks were always deceiving.
“Is this him?” the woman with Avery asked.
I’d yet to see her before.
I’d gone to one other appointment with her and we’d seen the doctor’s PA, not the doctor herself.
Which I assumed was who was in front of Avery now.
“Yes, Dr. Neil,” Avery said shyly. “This is him.”
I wondered what had been said about me, but instead of asking, I walked up to stand beside Avery.
“I was just explaining to Avery how this was going to go,” Dr. Neil explained. “She was telling me that you were her ride home. I told her we had to use a bit of sedation here because of the pins.”
I looked down at Avery and she widened her eyes.
“I’ll be right back with a nurse,” Dr. Neil said. “And we’ll get started.”
Dr. Neil left, leaving the door partially open as she went.
“I swear to God,” Avery said urgently. “I had my phone out to text you. Look.”
I looked, finding a partially written text message that said, ‘Hey, I know you’re busy but I’m about to…’
I sighed. “You know I would’ve come to the entire appointment if you’d only just told me.”
She opened her mouth and blew out a breath of air.
“Derek, do you realize what you’ve done for me over the last couple of months?” she asked.
I tilted my head sideways. “Yes, I do.”
She looked at me imploringly.
“Then you know that I’ve asked you to do a lot and have done nothing in return,” she said. “I honestly hate having to lean on you so much. Especially when I have nothing else to give back to you. You don’t need me. And honestly, Derek, that really sucks.”
I looked down into her eyes, reading the sincerity there.
“Up until a week and a half ago, I had dinner every night,” I said.
Her mouth snapped shut, her teeth clacking audibly.
“I had someone to talk to every night about my day,” I continued. “Sure, I had to drop you off and pick you up, but again, I enjoyed doing that because I got to spend time with you.”
She looked down at her lap.
“I thought that you felt that, too,” I continued.
She brought her hands up to her face and scrubbed it.
“I’m a walking disaster,” she said. “I’ve done nothing but make you work since I came into your life. And I really don’t like being a burden.”
“Is it a burden when I want that person to be there?” I asked. “When I want to do those things for you?”
“You don’t want to get me dressed in the morning,” she countered.
She snorted out a laugh.
“Getting you dressed in the morning was the highlight of my day those first few weeks,” I explained.
She brought her head up and peeked at me from between two fingers.
“It’s been a lesson in control these past few weeks,” I said, touching the metal haloing her forehead. “Probably a good thing. I’m not sure you’re ready for anything more.”
Because on a scale of one to ten, I was at about a twenty-three of wanting her.
She narrowed her eyes at me, her hands dropping from her face, and said, “Well you hide it very well then, because I’ve been tied up in knots these last few weeks. I finally had to move myself out because I was having these… thoughts.”
My eyes zeroed in on hers when she said what she’d said.
“What kind of thoughts?” I rasped.
She straightened then, her face coming closer to mine.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she whispered.
“Like what?” I challenged.
“Like you want to eat me alive,” she answered.
The door opened and a nurse and Dr. Neil bustled in.
I made sure not to take my eyes off of hers when I said, “Because I do.”
***
We walked slowly out of the office, my hand in hers.
“This feels so weird,” she murmured. “My neck muscles feel like they’re just gone. Is my head bobbing?”
I wiggled the neck brace that the doctor said we’d probably need for the first few weeks due to the muscles that’d atrophied in her neck and shoulders.
“That’s why she sent this,” I said. “You want to put it on?”
She shook her head and nearly toppled right over.
I caught her around the waist.
“I can shake my head!” she said on the front walk that led out of the building.
I snorted and pulled her in close, her body pressed up against mine.
“I have to go back to work,” I muttered. “I took a lunch break, but it’s getting time I head back.”
She patted me on the chest and pulled away, but almost reluctantly, as if she couldn’t quite convince herself to leave my arms.
But then my phone went off, indicating a SWAT call.
“Fuck,” I hissed, pulling back and reaching for it.
She pulled away from me completely and started heading toward my car.
“I can call an Uber,” she offered.
I shook my head and walked her to the passenger side, making sure she was settled safely inside before I walked around the front.
“I’ll take you to the station and get someone to run you back home,” I countered. “You’re not riding in an Uber again.”
She smiled.
I drove fast through the streets of Kilgore, arriving at the station in less than five minutes.
I was pulling into the assigned parking spot for my cruiser when a few of the men that were on my team came pouring out dressed and ready to go.
They had my bag and were tossing it into the back of the armored vehicle.
“Shit,” I said. “My team leader’s gonna be pissed.”
I got out and called out to her over my shoulder. “Go ask my dad for a ride!”
Then I was in the back of the vehicle and the doors were slamming shut.
I never made it back over to her that night.
By the time I finally got home, it was after one in the morning, and all of her lights were off.
I chose to head straight inside my own house and fall into bed instead of waking her up.
What I didn’t know was that she was standing at the front door waiting for me.