On the stage in the shadows. All on my own.
They’d asked if I wanted anyone sitting with me, and I’d declined.
Sure, I would love to have someone—preferably my mother or my father—at my side, but everybody else wasn’t them. I didn’t want a substitute. And, though my father was loved by all his friends and co-workers, I didn’t know them as well as I probably should have.
I was what some people would consider weird.
Weird as in when my parents went out with their friends from work or went to a work function, I didn’t go.
I was just more interested in hanging out at home, with a book, or editing photos than I was to pretend like I was enjoying myself at a party when I wasn’t.
Which was why I didn’t know any of my dad’s friends well. Even Luke.
I’d seen him around town. I knew who he was. Said hi to him a few times. But overall, I was in my own little world a lot of the time. That included staying there when chiefs of police came into the picture, even if he was a bigwig.
“I think it’s time,” he said.
I nodded my head.
“Yeah,” I said softly.
He gave some signal to the priest, then escorted me to my seat that was on the edge of the stage nearest the curtains that closed off the stage from view.
He winked at me and took his seat next to the priest who was just standing to start the ceremony.
I looked out over the crowd, staring at all the people.
There were tons.
And when I say tons, I meant so freakin’ many.
It made my heart happy to know that my dad had that.
That that many people showed up to support the life he’d lived.
I looked down at my hands and listened to everyone throughout the ceremony, smiling slightly when Luke got up to speak.
Once he was done, he looked over at me with a raised brow.
Did I want to speak?
I stood up, causing everyone’s attention to come to me.
I was in a black form-fitting dress that covered nearly every available inch of my body.
I’d stolen it from my mother’s closet when she’d passed and had no clue that I’d be wearing it so soon again.
I cleared my throat and then stepped up to the podium, staring out at my father’s friends.
No family in sight.
Both sets of my grandparents had passed, and both my mom and my dad had been only children. There were no uncles or aunts, no distant cousins to be had.
Just me.
I was all that was left now.
“I asked my dad for a brother once,” I said, eyes staring blankly at the mahogany wood that the podium was made out of. “He told me that I was a handful, and it would take everything he had to raise me.”
There was a slight chuckle from everyone in the room.
“When I was five, I asked him if it hurt to shoot someone,” I said softly, running my fingers along the grain. “He said only when he closes his eyes at night.”
There was a sniffle.
“When I was seven, I asked him if he could take me to work with him.” I smiled at the memory. “He told me no because I’d get hungry at some point and sometimes they didn’t get to eat for a solid twelve hours if it was a busy shift.” I snickered, remembering that day with picture-perfect clarity. “I told him I didn’t want to go if it wasn’t guaranteed that I’d get to eat.”
Everybody laughed at that.
“He came home one time when I was ten with a broken nose and two black eyes.” My mouth tipped up at the corner, and I was no longer seeing the people in the auditorium. I was seeing my dad, grinning like a lunatic at me. “He came home, gave my mom a huge kiss, then took a picture with me. He told me to take it out and laugh at it when I was having a bad day.”
I blinked, my eyes searching the room.
I found an officer that my dad had partnered with his rookie year.
I pointed at him.
“You were on your first call together, he told me. He said that you were scared out of your mind, and nearly drowned a man with an Icee when he tried to rob a convenience store. He said that you shoved your entire cup into his face and wasted every single drop.” I grinned. “The store employee made you pay for it.”
The man, Chris Tomlinson, smiled.
I found another man in the crowd. This one on the SWAT team.
“And you, Miller,” I said, pointing at him. “You and my dad ran a warrant once. It turns out that the man was a transvestite, and you were looking for a man, and he was dressed as a woman. You let him go and only realized later what had happened.”
Miller chuckled.
“I have thousands of stories in my head,” I said. “That’s what happens when you don’t forget anything. Some say it’s a curse because there’s just so much information to sift through. But me? I’m happy that I can remember so much with such vivid detail. That means that I’ll never forget my dad. He’ll always be right here.” I patted my chest. “So if you’re ever in need of remembering, I’ll tell you something about him.”
With that, I went back to my seat and disappeared back into the shadows.
There was a long silence and then people started to clap.
I looked down at my lap, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.
Today was a bad day.
***
“What are you thinking about?”
I started, surprised to find that Derek was still wide awake.
“Uhh.” I swallowed. “I was thinking about my dad’s funeral.”
He moved until he had an arm hooked around my waist, then hauled me backward across the bed until I was in his arms.
“Who do you think it is, Avery?” he asked then. “Do you think it’s Rachel?”
I had no idea anymore.
The more I thought about it, the more confused I got.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But this has been happening for years between me and Rachel. She’s never even gotten violent before the time she pushed me. And even then, it was due in part to an accident. I have a feeling she would’ve never pushed me at all if she knew what would happen.”
“But…” he urged.
“But,” I continued, “she’s been very vocal on how much she dislikes me. She’s also gone out of her way to let me know that she hates me. And she is now being charged with attempted murder. She might very well be pissed off enough to hit me with a car.”
He made a grunting sound of agreement, sliding my hair back over my shoulder so he could get to the bare skin of my neck.
His lips ran against the skin, from shoulder to shoulder, as he ran his palm up and down the length of my outer thigh.
I squirmed until I was pressed fully against him, causing him to growl.
“I don’t know what is going on,” he said. “But I have some people working on it. And Lynn’s working on it. From what my dad tells me, Lynn’s got his own sources that even he can’t touch. But… I would like to go talk to this woman that used to date your dad. I’d like to hear it myself what was happening with the insurance. Something’s missing here.”