He’d known it the moment he’d laid eyes on her his third day of school at Calamity High. It’d been like smacking his funny bone. It had reverberated throughout his entire body, leaving him shaky and hyperaware of his senses—the smell of too many bodies in the hallway, the buzz of conversation, the taste of the tart apple he’d grabbed on his way out the door.
And, yesterday, he’d signed a contract that would separate them. He didn’t know what life would look like without seeing her every day. Didn’t want to.
“My dad sent pictures of you in your blazer with the pen in your hand. He captured the big moment, right when you signed.” Her forehead creased. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
When she stroked his biceps, static electricity made the hairs on his arm snap to attention. This girl, with her amber eyes that probed and always found him worthy…she owned his whole heart. “I’m good.” I just missed you.
And I realized I’m not completely myself unless I’m with you.
And the idea of going to college without her made it feel like his wheels were spinning out, kicking out gravel and dust. Chaos.
“What were the other recruits like?” Her eyes went wide with impatience.
He gave himself a mental shake. I have her now. For six more months. “It was in the Athletic Office.”
A Beyoncé song came on, and even more people crowded the make-shift dance floor. People hollered and sang along with “All the Single Ladies.” When someone stumbled into them, Cassian shifted to block Gigi from the crowd.
Boxing her in against the wall, his arms on either side of her head, he leaned in so she could hear him. “There’re twenty-three prospects but only five of us signed early.” He didn’t want to talk about the details, but he could see she wanted more. “The press was there, and there was a lot of talk about how we’re the best recruiting class the Big Ten has seen since two-thousand-and-seven.”
“That’s so great.” She scanned his features, obviously concerned. “Are you not sure about Michigan?” Thanks to the dry, mountain climate, she always wore Chapstick. It must’ve worn off, because she kept licking her lips, that pink tongue tracing the seam of her mouth.
“No, I am. It’s good. I just…” He wanted to shove his hands into her thick, dark hair, scrape it back to see all of her. He needed to finally ease this constant ache from not being allowed to touch her. “The coach was talking me up. Best throwing arm he’s seen in a generation…how my speed’s pretty good for a guy my size…but then, at the end, after we’d all signed, he came up to me and said, ‘Don’t fuck this up. Don’t get in an accident or do any stupid shit. That arm’s mine now.’”
She nodded, like she understood. “He psyched you out.”
“Injury’s always on my mind. If anything goes wrong…”
“Hey.” She set her hand on his shoulder. “If anything goes wrong, you’re still at one of the top schools in the country. You’ll get a great education and have a career.”
“Yeah, but see, those are just words. You know I can’t do anything but football. From the time I moved here, I’ve been on one track.”
Frustration flashed across her features. “No, I don’t know that. You’re as smart as you are athletic. Look, I have a feeling this is about my dad, and you have to know that, unless you get a girl pregnant, flunk out of school, or become a giant, egotistical jerk, you can’t let him down. He’s really proud of you, Cassian, and he’ll be the first to say you did this on your own. It was your work ethic, your natural ability, and your coachability. All he did was guide you. I know he’s told you, but you have to believe him when he says you’ve made him very, very proud.”
He blinked back the sting in his eyes. He owed her dad everything. The retired quarterback had plucked Cassian out of detention the first week of freshman year and spent countless hours turning Cassian into a great ball player. Tyler Cavanaugh had seen something in him, and there wasn’t a chance he’d let the man down.
Gigi could say whatever she wanted, but her dad expected Cassian to play professionally. Cassian wanted it, too, of course. But…it was a hell of a lot of pressure.
She licked her lips, gazing up at him with those soft, imploring eyes. “You’re not that self-destructive kid anymore. You turned yourself around. I think…I think sometimes you misunderstand. He doesn’t need you to have his career. He just needs you to be a good man and live your best life.”
My best life is with you. He knew that down to his bones. Everyone thought it was Tyler who’d changed him—and to a degree it was. He respected Tyler more than any other man alive. But it was Gigi who made him want to be a better man.
For her, he’d wanted to be cleaner. Nicer. Smarter. Not a chance would he have shown up at her house with a shitty report card or smelling like ass.
Gigi nudged him. “You know that, right? My dad cares more about you getting on the right path in life than having you follow in his footsteps.”
“Yeah, sure.”
Laughing, she smacked his arm. “Don’t humor me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
This is what I love about her. She makes me face my shit. He swiped a thumb across his lower lip. “Look, I owe your dad everything. I wouldn’t be the quarterback of our team, and I sure as hell wouldn’t be playing for a Big Ten school if he hadn’t stepped in. And I’m…” How did he explain it without sounding weak?
“Scared.”
Just hearing the word out loud calmed him. Knowing she understood made him chill out. “Hell, yeah, I’m scared. I’m terrified. How many hometown heroes choke in college? It’s easy to be great in Wyoming, but it’s a whole other level at a school like Michigan. And, even if I can handle myself on the field, I still have to perform in classes. And…” The thing that really messed him up. “I’m not like the other guys. Most of them started football when they were four. I didn’t start until I was fourteen. That’s late. I don’t know that I have what it takes to make it to the pros. Everyone’s going to be looking at me, comparing me to all the other QBs. I—”
She held up a hand. “Stop. Listen to me, your coach has been recruiting guys for over twenty years. He flew you out to do drills with his team—he’s seen you in action. He knows what he’s got in you.” Those earnest eyes begged him to hear her. “I think, on some level, you’re working so hard to earn your keep. It’s not just with my dad. You do it with your aunt and uncle, too.”
After his parents died when he was fourteen, he’d gone to live with his uncle’s family in Calamity. For the first two years, he hadn’t made it easy on them.
“But you have to realize…they all love you like a son.”
He didn’t know about that. Still, his hand went to his chest, to ease the ache in his heart.
“You’re worthy just as you are.”
The ache swelled so big it made it hard to take a full breath. This girl…she was the only person in the world who saw him right down to his bones.
And accepted him all the way.
None of the self-discipline he’d marshalled to get recruited by the top team in the nation compared to what it took for him to keep his hands off her.